Posted on 12/22/2017 7:51:00 AM PST by x1stcav
In a few days, the pain will stop. The pain, that is, of awful and most heinous Christmas songs. I already know that I am going to Hell. Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright said that I was going to Hell because I didnt support Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. My friends and I are renting a party bus.
We wont be listening to Christmas Songs on the bus. They are headache inducing. Self-explanatory
I hereby propose that the following Christmas songs have achieved a level of heinousness that would cause my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to shove a dreidel directly in his brain. Jesus probably doesnt mind the Dreidel Song, he is gonna get Adam Sandler for the Hanukkah Song, for sure. Sorry, I got off track there. Jesus celebrated Hanukkah and, my mind wandered away.
(Excerpt) Read more at victorygirlsblog.com ...
This is a posting-pest free thread. Please respect.
(I will be away from 22 Dec until 02 Jan. During my absence all of my posts and replies will be done by a new app called PostBot. As this is a beta version please excuse any foul language, personal attacks, and baseless accusations. I will resume control on 02 Jan. Merry Christmas!)
(What is more bothersome than a malarial mosquito or more disease-ridden than an upland leech? A posting pest! If you are bothered by these annoying creatures take heart: new hardware and apps are being developed as this is written to provide early detection and timely eradication. Stay tuned
)
Ten Most Heinous Christmas Songs Ever
Ten Most Heinous Christmas Songs Ever
by Toni Williams in Christmas 7 Comments
In a few days, the pain will stop. The pain, that is, of awful and most heinous Christmas songs. I already know that I am going to Hell. Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright said that I was going to Hell because I didnt support Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. My friends and I are renting a party bus.
We wont be listening to Christmas Songs on the bus. They are headache inducing.
Self-explanatory
I hereby propose that the following Christmas songs have achieved a level of heinousness that would cause my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to shove a dreidel directly in his brain. Jesus probably doesnt mind the Dreidel Song, he is gonna get Adam Sandler for the Hanukkah Song, for sure. Sorry, I got off track there. Jesus celebrated Hanukkah and, my mind wandered away.
Here they are. The most heinous Christmas songs ever. Ive provided links in case you are a masochist.
1. Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer This ones a gimme. Even my toothless Appalachian Relations hate this song, its so heinous.
2. Someday at Christmas by Stevie Wonder Political Christmas songs hurt the Baby Jesuss heart. Frealz. The song actually has nothing to do with Christmas, except its in the title. This song is heinously Progressive. Ugh.
3. Do They Know Christmas by Band Aid This song is heinous on multiple levels. Do-gooder celebs milking emotions write a song about Africa and know nothing about Africa. I hear this song and want to scream, There will be snow in parts of Africa this Christmas, you bottom feeding half-wits. You could write a song with the lyrics, There wont be snow in Miami this Christmas and be equally heinous. And, see above, political Christmas songs hurt the Baby Jesuss heart.
4. All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey Actually, I hate everything by Mariah Scary. Oooo, baby, I sure do. Mariah Carey doesnt sing. Mariah Carey yells and screeches. This song is very popular. I hate it. Its heinous and must never be played again.
5. The Christmas Song made popular by Nat King Cole You know, Chestnuts roasting on a open fire. Yes, I hate that one. This song could cause you to go into a sugar coma. If this song comes on, get the insulin pump ready.
6. Mary, Did You Know? written by Mark Lowry and sung by anyone. Mary knew. Its in the Bible. When people in the Bible werent begetting, they were prophesying. Mary knew, Joseph knew, cousin Elizabeth knew. They all knew. There is an even more special place in Hell for Pentatonix and their version. If God doesnt hate me too much, he wont put Pentatonix near me in our special places in Hell.
7. Happy Xmas/War is Over by John Lennon as stated above political Christmas songs hurt the Baby Jesuss heart. This one gave him colic too.
8. Santa Clause Is Coming to Town by Bruce Springsteen I am not a Springsteen fan. He always sounds constipated to me. He just didnt need to do this. And, Sirius XM should never play it again.
9. Away in a Manger by anyone I included the John Denver version here, but they are all heinous. Listen to the song and tell me that you dont want to run screaming from the room.
and finally, the one I hate the most:
10. The Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth by Bing Crosby and David Bowie You have no idea how much I hate hating this heinous song. Could there be two better voices blending together than Bing Crosby and David Bowie? The answer is No. I dont care for The Little Drummer Boy all by its lonesome. When the song is combined with Peace on Earth, it could induce serious mental conditions. Baby Jesuss heart is hurt and he hates fascists. Look at the words:
Every child must be made aware
Every child must be made to care
Care enough for his fellow man
To give all the love that he can
Must be made. Oh, I dont think so. This song is heinous.
There are many, many more heinous Christmas songs. These are the worst offenders. They cause a headache every time they are played.
Merry Christmas. Just dont sing it to me.
Down with posting pests!
You might want to read some of the posts directed your way...
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/3615681/posts?page=8#8
The Admin Mod? He’s a posting pest!
I rank it up there with "Bolero" as a form of unbearably cruel mental torture.
And he usually looks the part as well.
‘The Christmas Song’ was written by Mel Torme. Mel Torme could turn ‘Cherokee’ into a ballad.
If a top 10 list of bad Christmas songs doesn’t contain “Last Christmas”, it’s immediately invalid.
The list given in the article lacks an overarching theme, it seems to me. Neither traditional nor modern songs are spares the wrath of thd author.
You need “Holly Jolly Christmas” by Burl Ives on this list. The sine qua non of bad Christmas music.
Beck’s Bolero isn’t bad.
How can you omit the OTHER Christmas Song, the one done by the Chipmunks?
Honorable mention: Elton John’s “Step Into Christmas” and its flip-side “Ho Ho Ho (Who’d Want to be a Turkey for Christmas)”. More lame than anything.
1. Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer This ones a gimme. Even my toothless Appalachian Relations hate this song, its so heinous.
9. Away in a Manger
10. The Little Drummer Boy (Can't say I ever really listened to the Bing Crosby/David Bowie version though I probably have & just don't remember it).
Thanks I missed that command from the Admin Mod.
(I will be away from 22 Dec until 02 Jan. During my absence all of my posts and replies will be done by a new app called PostBot. As this is a beta version please excuse any foul language, personal attacks, and baseless accusations. I will resume control on 02 Jan. Merry Christmas!)
Holly Jolly Christmas is one of those non-Christian “Christmas” songs - more like a “Winterfest” or “Festivus” song...
Last Christmas by Wham
Wonderful Christmastime by McCartney
Absolutely correct. I lead a boys adventure troop through Trail Life USA. One of my sons once told the boys how much I despise Last Christmas so of course, it’s become a tradition that every week throughout the year at our meetings, 60 boys take the responsibility to sing me a raucous version of Last Christmas, screaming SPECIAL!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.