Thin Air: Washington’s rules for thinking before speaking

Sierra Vista Herald ^ | Christopher Zimmerman

[SandRat]

Periodically, when public discourse becomes so uncivil, I feel the need to produce another segment of “George Washington’s Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour." As my previous columns have explained, Washington's rules are written in language that's hard to apply to the modern world. Therefore, I try to rephrase his rules to make them more applicable today. This time I will go over rules 70 through 79.

Rule no. 70: “Reprehend not the imperfections of others, for that belongs to parents, masters, and superiors.” George has left out one obvious person who is authorized to reprehend the imperfections of others. Namely, Martha. I’m willing to bet, Mrs. Washington did plenty of that to Mr. #icannottellalie. Restated as, “Do not bully others, unless you’re married to them.”

Rule no. 71: “Gaze not on the marks or blemishes of others and ask not how they came. What you may speak in secret to your friend, deliver not before others.” This is an important rule, especially when your buddy shows up with a tattoo on his lower back that states, “Nolege Is Power.” Restated as, “When having dinner at your friend’s parent’s house, don’t ask him about that tattoo he got in Mexico during spring break.”

Rule no. 72: “Speak not in an unknown tongue in company, but in your own language and that as those of quality do and not as the vulgar. Sublime matters treat seriously.” It is sometimes inappropriate to use terms like shizzle, dizzle, bro, gizzo, or fo sho. Restated as, “Don’t use street slang when applying for a loan.”

Rule no. 73: "Think before you speak; pronounce not imperfectly nor bring out your words too hastily, but orderly & distinctly." This is a problem that results in all kinds of unnecessary problems in society today. The habit of blurting out whatever idea enters our brain without filtering it first afflicts nearly everyone in the public arena. Restated as, "Don't tweet words like ‘covfefe’ in the middle of the night.”

Rule no. 74: “When another speaks be attentive yourself and disturb not the audience, if any hesitates in his words, help him not, nor prompt him without desired; interrupt him not, nor answer him till his speech be ended.” This is another common problem today, the tendency to interrupt before the other person has finished speaking. This is particularly an issue with text messages as a conversation can get completely jumbled up when people are texting over one another. Restated as, "Wait thirty seconds before answering a text message as the other person may still be typing."

Rule no. 75: “In the midst of discourse ask not of what one treateth, but if you perceive any stop because of your coming you may well entreat him gently to proceed. If a person of quality comes in while you are conversing, it is handsome to repeat what was said before.” It is rude to barge in on a conversation and demand to know what is being discussed. If joining a conversation in progress, listen for a while and try to determine the topic without interrupting. If the speaker thinks it necessary, he will repeat part of the conversation to bring you in. Restated as, "Keep your pie-hole shut if you come to the discussion late."

Rule no. 76: “While you are talking, point not with your finger at him of whom you discourse nor approach too near him to whom you talk, especially to his face.” You should never point at someone you're speaking with, especially when you're standing too close. Restated as, "Keep your finger out of the other person's eye when talking to them."

Rule no. 77: “Treat with men at fit times about business; and whisper not in the company of others.” There is a time and place for everything, and it is never polite to whisper to someone so that others in the room can't hear what is being said. Restated as, "Never discuss business when sitting around a bong."

Rule no. 78: “Make no comparisons; and if any of the company be commended for any brave act of virtue, commend not another for the same.” Don’t recognize the achievements of people in a way that highlights the failures of others. Restated as, “Don’t give participation trophies for last place.”

Rule no. 79: “Be not apt to relate news if you know not the truth thereof. In discoursing of things you have heard, name not your author; always a secret discover not.” There is a big problem with people making statements that are not verified as true or leaking information that is meant to be kept secret. Restated as, “Don’t publish fake news.”

Well, Washington's rules once again prove to be relevant in the current age. It is a shame that the people who live in the city that bears his name have forgotten that.

[sauropod]

study

[loungitude]

.