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[SATIRE] DOJ to Investigate Oscars
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 29 Jan 2016 | John Semmens

Posted on 01/29/2016 7:52:59 PM PST by John Semmens

The absence of blacks, gays, and transgenders from the ranks of those nominated for this year's Academy Awards has spurred outrage among cultural elites. Hollywood power couple Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith announced they will boycott the awards ceremony. Homosexual actor Ian McKellen groused that "we mustn't let the attention given to racism completely overshadow the homophobia plaguing the film industry."

US Attorney General Loretta Lynch labeled "the lack of nominations for legally protected groups is disturbing. The claim that nominees are democratically determined by secret ballot does not exempt the Academy from affirmative action laws. Racially disparate outcomes are, by themselves, proof of discrimination under current statutes. We will need to evaluate whether the list of this year's nominees needs to be expanded or whether the whole process must be revamped in order to ensure a more racial and sexual-identity balanced slate of candidates for the awards."

Lynch sternly added that "even a balanced list of nominees won't guarantee against further action by the Administration if protected groups don't win a proportionate share of the prizes. The President is fully prepared to take executive action if that is what is needed to achieve justice."

In related news, Lynch sought to dispel rumors concerning a possible indictment of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton for national security violations stemming from her use of an unsecured email system. "The fact that lesser persons have been prosecuted for lesser offenses is not relevant," Lynch argued. "As a high-ranking member of government a secretary of state has a certain level of immunity for all actions taken while holding office. Mistakes in judgment, even of the grossest sort, must not be treated as crimes. Likewise, attempts to cover up these mistakes are a normal part of governing."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/190684-2016-01-29-semi-news-semi-satire-january-31-2016-edition.htm


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: hollywood; racism; satire; sexism

1 posted on 01/29/2016 7:52:59 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 01/29/2016 7:53:49 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Bump


3 posted on 01/29/2016 7:54:09 PM PST by Jet Jaguar
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To: All

Here’s a kicker:

They’re making a movie about Michael Jackson...A white guy is playing Michael...

What will the BET network and black actors say or do if this guy wins an Oscar?????


4 posted on 01/29/2016 7:58:05 PM PST by Boonie ("Nuke 'em all...Let Allah sort 'em out...)
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To: John Semmens

So I guess they won’t have time or people to go after Clinton! Sarc


5 posted on 01/29/2016 8:08:09 PM PST by Bobby_Taxpayer
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To: John Semmens

I’m having an increasingly difficult time distinguishing this from actual news.


6 posted on 01/29/2016 8:15:35 PM PST by beethovenfan (Islam is a cancer on civilization.)
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To: John Semmens

Obama is sending over a couple of his torpedoes.


7 posted on 01/29/2016 8:50:28 PM PST by Huskrrrr
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To: John Semmens

Oh yes. sarc


8 posted on 01/29/2016 8:51:07 PM PST by Huskrrrr
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To: John Semmens

No animals either. Call PETA.


9 posted on 01/29/2016 9:13:27 PM PST by ViLaLuz (2 Chronicles 7:14)
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To: John Semmens
I gather that's not actually a quote from Ian McKellen, but it might as well be.

Perhaps it would be theraputic to televise a group flogging of leftist white actors.

10 posted on 01/29/2016 9:14:12 PM PST by TChad (The left's accusations are usually self-descriptions.)
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To: Boonie
the guy they have playing the KIng of Pop, Joseph Fiennes, looks more like Roy Scheider than Micheal Jackson. Unless they are going to go with extensive prosthetic or CGI makeup, I don't see how they are going to carry it off.

11 posted on 01/30/2016 11:33:34 AM PST by jmcenanly ("The more corrupt the state, the more laws." Tacitus, Publius Cornelius)
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