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Planned Parenthood Sues Anti-Abortion Group [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 17 Jan 2016 | John Semmens

Posted on 01/16/2016 3:09:07 PM PST by John Semmens

Planned Parenthood (PP) has filed suit against the Center for Medical Progress (CMP) alleging that "CMP has callously and covertly exposed us to suspicion and ridicule by airing private negotiations for the illegal sale of body parts salvaged from terminated fetuses."

The suit alleged irreparable harm including "loss of taxpayer funding of abortions in some states, a decline in donations from benefactors horrified by the videos' portrayal of dismembered fetuses, insensitive Planned Parenthood officials and their rampant enthusiasm for turning unwanted human waste into useful items like expensive cars and bonuses for Planned Parenthood personnel."

Congresswoman Diane Black (R-Tenn) labeled the suit "an attempt to intimidate Planned Parenthood's critics. Most of America was appalled to learn of the crass and cruel practices going on at Planned Parenthood. Most of America is opposed to forcing taxpayers to subsidize the human sacrifice taking place behind closed doors of this manager of abattoirs for the most helpless of our species."

Cecile Richards, President of Planned Parenthood Federation of America argued that "regardless of whether the activities disclosed in the videos is criminal, there is a proper procedure for going forward. That procedure requires that a warrant be obtained before any taping is done. This procedure protects the rights of mafia racketeers and it also protects the private dealings of Planned Parenthood. The so-called evidence obtained by CMP was not undertaken after a judge-approved warrant. It is, therefore 'fruit from the tainted tree' and inadmissible as evidence of any wrongdoing by Planned Parenthood. At the same time, it is irrefutable proof that CMP has grossly invaded Planned Parenthood's privacy."

The suit demands that "all of CMP's videos be erased, all its assets be seized and confiscated, and that all the principals at CMP be punished to the maximum extent permitted by law."

In related news, Hillary Clinton vowed to make abortions free if she is elected president later this year. "Rich people who can afford to pay can have all the abortions they want," Clinton pointed out. "Poor people shouldn't have fewer rights just because they can't afford to pay for their abortions. It is government's obligation to ensure equal rights for all. I will guarantee that abortion is a right that no one has to pay for when I'm president."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/189785-2016-01-15-semi-news-semi-satire-january-17-2016-edition.htm


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: abortion; democratd; humansacrifice; satire

1 posted on 01/16/2016 3:09:07 PM PST by John Semmens
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