Posted on 08/15/2014 8:11:52 PM PDT by John Semmens
US Secretary of State John Kerry continues to baffle observers by insisting that "global warming is, by far, the greatest threat mankind faces in the 21st century."
"The reason should be obvious from the term 'global' warming," Kerry said. "This means that it affects everyone. This has to put it ahead of dangers that afflict necessarily narrower categories of victims. The beheading of innocent children by ISIS in Iraq, for example, only affects thousands of people."
"The threat to wipe Israel off the map and exterminate the Jews, at worst, would entail the deaths of only a few million," Kerry continued. "Juxtaposed to this limited atrocity, the ecological damage from global warming is vaster by an order of magnitude. Billions will be faced with excruciatingly relentless rises in temperature. Trying to stay cool will be an endless task. The cost and discomfort of attempting to cope will easily outweigh the momentary pain of being blown apart by a suicide bomber or having your throat slit by a jihadi."
"In a way it could be said that massacres serve to ameliorate the impact of global warming," Kerry pointed out. "The fewer humans there are, the less pressure they will put on the ecosystem's carrying power. So, while it is not their intent to fight global warming groups like ISIS and Hamas are inadvertently contributing toward a brighter future for the planet. We should not overlook this mitigating factor."
While Kerry appears to imagine himself a great thinker able to see past the "minor skirmishes" that most see as the main concern of the nation's chief diplomat, a recent editorial in Investors Business Daily characterized his contention that global warming is the more serious threat as "dangerously moronic."
Kerry does appear to be at some risk of getting out of step with his boss, though. Just this week President Obama declared "conservative maximalists" to be the biggest threat. "The essence of a successful community is universal cooperation for the collective benefit of all," the President said. "This requires compromise. Yet, there is a contingent within that continues to take the extreme position that certain so-called fundamental rights are immutable. This contingent of conservative maximalists is more dangerous than any other enemy we face."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/161283-2014-08-15-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-august-17-2014.htm
hmm.... I wonder if global warming is just a liberal’s repressed fear of Hell.
Nice try....
Hey Jerk, it is 52 degrees here in the Detroit area on our “hot August night”.
Great point! Lol!
“Global warming killed Ho Chi Minh!”
Mankinds Greatest Threat” is a White House run by a bunch of clueless, corrupted ideologues, that have no idea what they are doing.
Kerry Promotes Climate-Change Mitigation Funding on Trip in the Pacific
Excellent John, as usual.
ping
Physically abusing a deceased equine.
Is it getting a little warm in here?
We are Lurching towards Gomorrah.
Does the left think people don’t notice how cold this summer has been? I really hope our presidential candidate studies the facts on this and explains how this is just a get rich scheme for certain people.
Uh, sorry John....it’s Muslims.
Kerry needs professional help.
No way I can add to what you have already written!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.