Posted on 08/12/2014 9:20:12 AM PDT by John Semmens
Iowa’s Democratic nominee for the US Senate Bruce Braley’s hissy fit over a neighbor’s chickens may derail his electoral chances in this farm state. The trouble started when Braley espied a few of neighbor Pauline Hampton’s pet chickens strutting around the yard of his vacation home in the town of Brooklyn and filed a complaint with the home owners association.
In an attempt to be neighborly, Hampton proffered a gift of a dozen freshly laid eggs, but Bruce Braley would have none of it. “I can’t be bought off so cheaply,” Braley angrily asserted. “I’m a candidate for the United States Senate. I shouldn’t have to put up with unwanted fowl trespassing on my property. I deserve more respect.”
Hampton was blindsided by the vehemence of Braley’s reaction. “These are very gentle chickens,” Hampton insisted. “They don’t wander very far from home and they don’t pose a danger to anyone or anything.”
The PETA-endorsed Braley saw no irony in his demand that Hampton cage her chickens or face being sued for damages. “While I support the general concept of ‘free-range’ chickens I don’t want them on my doorstep,” the candidate said. Braley admitted that he doesn’t spend much time at his Brooklyn property, but insisted that “the very thought of these creatures invading my space even when I’m not there is an affront I can’t abide.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://azconservative.org/2014/08/08/obama-eyes-emancipation-proclamation-as-model-for-amnesty-executive-order/
A foul campaign, eh John?
Can someone interpret the headline for me? It just gave me a headache.
He must be hard to satirize since he does a pretty good job in real life.
He just wasn’t offered enough eggs!
A typical politicians mind set that explains where all that stimulus money has gone to.
If you don't like chicken, leave that hen alone.
If you don't like chicken, leave that hen alone.
She'll give you so much chicken, you cannot do a thing but moan.
You're a big red rooster, but that don't mean a thing.
Well, You're a big red rooster, but that don't mean a thing.
If you mess around with her, she surely will clip your wings.
She'll give you chicken with your coffee,
Chicken with your wine,
Chicken, chicken, chicken till you lose your mind.
If you don't like chicken, leave that hen alone.
She'll give you so much chicken, you cannot do a thing but moan.
You'll holler, "chicken, get away from me!" (fried chicken);
"Chicken, get away from me!" (stewed chicken);
"Chicken, get away from me!" (French fried chicken);
"Chicken, get away from me!" (boiled chicken);
"Chicken, get away from me!"
She'll give you chicken in the morning,
Chicken afternoon,
Chicken, chicken, chicken 'neath the harvest moon.
Well, if you don't like chicken, leave that hen alone.
She'll give you so much chicken, you cannot do a thing but moan (chicken),
But moan (chicken),
But moan (chicken).
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