doesn't matter what happens, the goathumpers are safety wired to the terrorist/murderous thug position anyway so fill in the blank... 
Posted on 04/25/2014 11:00:14 PM PDT by John Semmens
The U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of Tennessee, Bill Killian, says “the Administration is looking into ways we can curb anti-Muslim hate speech. Such speech violates Muslims' Constitutional right to freely exercise their religion. It is our duty to protect this right.”
Killian acknowledged that “there are some tricky and delicate issues here. Some believe that freedom of speech gives them the right to make remarks critical of or disparaging toward Islam. On the other hand, Islam commands its faithful to fight against, subdue, and slay those who insult their beliefs. The only way we can see to head off potential violent confrontations is to interdict the insults through official prohibitions.”
“Muslim beliefs are different from those of Christians and Jews,” Killian explained. “Jesus bade his followers to 'turn the other cheek' toward those who harm or offend them. And Jews have a long history of suffering under discriminatory laws and pogroms without violently responding to these oppressions. So, while there is clearly no need for the Government to intervene against anti-Christian or anti-Jewish speech the same cannot be said in regard to anti-Muslim speech.”
“If we can persuade Muslims that the Government will impose satisfactory sanctions against persons who insult their religion there will be no need for them to take matters into their own hands,” Killian argued. “They will see that Government is up to the task of protecting their faith and that they won't have to take up arms to defend it. It's simply a matter of maintaining both the Constitutional right of Muslims to practice their religion and our Constitutional obligation to secure domestic tranquility.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/154525-2014-04-25-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-april-27-2014.htm
I counted 7 people you duped so far.
I was reading it and telling myself “Oh no, there’s no way he’s going there.”
Sometimes I wonder if not for the ping from John himself I might be snared too ;’)
doesn't matter what happens, the goathumpers are safety wired to the terrorist/murderous thug position anyway so fill in the blank...
As I re read my post I realized it was none too clear in intent. I applaud John’s quality satire. He is remarkable in his ability to capture the soul of progressives at their most ridiculous. Again and again he puts words into their mouths they are likely to speak making them fools and hypocrites to their outrageous cause.
Thank you, John, for your most believable jests.
Mad Moe's Murder Cult demands nothing less!
He's got Rush a couple of times.
I'm coughing, gagging, nose running, and tears of blood emanating profusely from my eyes.
People around me are asking if I'm OK? Do I need an ambulance? Is my cemetery plot paid off?
In between wheezes I say. "It's Semmens dammit! He nailed it again!"
Sounds like what Western governments are doing in reality.
Okay, I would wager that there is some (semi?) satire in this.
(Still looking.)
Another Semi-Pulitzer-worthy column John.
.
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