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Kerry Issues Ultimatum to Russians
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 March 2014 | John Semmens

Posted on 03/14/2014 7:26:00 PM PDT by John Semmens

US Secretary of State John Kerry chastised Russian President Vladimir Putin for his country’s “unwarranted interference in the internal affairs of Ukraine” and warned that “serious repercussions will be undertaken.”

“National sovereignty is a principle that you either respect or don’t,” Kerry lectured Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov in high level talks this past week. “Engaging in displays of military strength or actual incursions into a foreign country in order to influence or intimidate its government is not acceptable.”

Lavrov questioned Kerry’s sincerity and historical knowledge by alluding to US intervention in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Libya in recent years and the American Civil War. “Hypocrisy is not a coherent policy,” the Russian Foreign Minister countered. “Unless Mr. Kerry is ready to acknowledge his own country’s violations of the sovereignty of other states and offer to make amends why should we take his current objections seriously?”

Kerry gave the Russians until Monday to “reverse course or face the consequences.” Kerry declined to elaborate on what the “consequences” might entail on the grounds that “retaining the element of surprise is crucial to the success of any armed intervention.”

Not content to wait for decisive action from the Obama Administration, Senator John McCain (R-AZ) is reportedly on his way to Ukraine “to serve as a ‘human shield’ against any further Russian incursions. All we really need is for people of stature to face down these cowardly invaders. If FDR or Churchill had placed themselves in front of the German Army on the Polish border in 1939 Hitler would never have dared attack.”

In related news, Kerry called Israel’s insistence that it be recognized as a Jewish state a mistake. “Globally, there are only 12 million Jews compared to over a billion Muslims,” Kerry observed. “Allowing such a tiny minority to block the majority’s desire to assert a different philosophy of governance for the region now known as Israel would be profoundly undemocratic. Justice requires that the lesser number yield to the greater number. My Government cannot acquiesce in a protocol that would permit a minority to rule over a majority.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2014/03/15/president-admits-obamacare-will-block-access-to-many-doctors/


TOPICS: Government; History; Military/Veterans; Politics
KEYWORDS: deanwormer; israel; kerry; russians; satire
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To: John Semmens

Kerry declined to elaborate on what the “consequences” might entail on the grounds that “retaining the element of surprise is crucial...

Kerry: You’d better read it to them Mr President.
Obama: Er.... Nobody...um....
Kerry: Expects...
Obama: Expects... Nobody expects the...um...the Obama...um...
Kerry: Consequences.
Obama: I know, I know! Nobody expects the Obama consequences. In fact, those who do expect -
Kerry: Our chief weapons are...
Obama: Our chief weapons are...um...er...
Kerry: Surprise...
Obama: Surprise and —
Kerry: Okay, stop. Stop. Stop there - stop there. Stop. Phew! Ah! ... our chief weapons are surprise...blah blah blah.


21 posted on 03/14/2014 7:55:43 PM PDT by mrsmith (Dumb sluts: Lifeblood of the Media, Backbone of the Democrat Party!)
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To: John Semmens
booo...



22 posted on 03/14/2014 8:08:56 PM PDT by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -vvv- NO Pity for the LAZY - 86-44)
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To: mrsmith
The world is watching a Plane disappear

Putin is planning for East Ukraine to disappear

23 posted on 03/14/2014 8:11:13 PM PDT by scooby321
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To: John Semmens

And this time he really means it.

He’s putting Putin on double secret probation.


24 posted on 03/14/2014 8:15:10 PM PDT by Rocky (The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those who speak it. George Orwell)
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To: John Semmens

You go, John. Dare him to make you call your bluff.


25 posted on 03/14/2014 8:22:26 PM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all -- Texas Eagle)
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To: John Semmens

“serious repercussions will be undertaken.”

Another red line in the sand?


26 posted on 03/14/2014 8:24:43 PM PDT by spel_grammer_an_punct_polise (What we need is to sucker the fedthugs into a "Tiananmen Square"-like incident on the National Mall!)
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To: Chode

John Cleese has signed to play the title role in “John Kerry - A triumphant life”


27 posted on 03/14/2014 8:28:44 PM PDT by Rembrandt (Part of the 51% who pay Federal taxes)
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To: Rembrandt
LOL!!! gonna be a hard role to play since he's never played the part of a clown BIGGER than he is...
28 posted on 03/14/2014 8:34:47 PM PDT by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -vvv- NO Pity for the LAZY - 86-44)
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To: John Semmens

Or what?? He’d marry the richest woman in Russia???


29 posted on 03/14/2014 8:37:22 PM PDT by varmintman
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To: John Semmens
John pens another fine and timely column.

When I look at (actual) news quotes from Mister Obama, Kerry and the like, they almost seem to have come from Mad Magazine.

It must be difficult to satirize semi-believable, semi-true political statements as the truth could, indeed, be stranger than the satire.

.

30 posted on 03/14/2014 8:54:54 PM PDT by Seaplaner (Never give in. Never give in. Never...except to convictions of honour and good sense. W. Churchill)
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To: John Semmens

“Engaging in displays of military strength or actual incursions into a foreign country in order to influence or intimidate its government is not acceptable.”

Isn’t that what we’re doing?


31 posted on 03/14/2014 8:57:43 PM PDT by VerySadAmerican (".....Barrack, and the horse Mohammed rode in on.")
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To: John Semmens

so what’s he going to do, send the FBI to arrest Putin??


32 posted on 03/14/2014 8:58:49 PM PDT by 1st Division guy
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To: John Semmens

Good one John. Thanks for the ping.


33 posted on 03/14/2014 9:03:38 PM PDT by rockinqsranch (Dems, Libs, Socialists, call 'em what you will. They ALL have fairies livin' in their trees.)
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To: spel_grammer_an_punct_polise

THESE PEOPLE need some Statesman training and a class on real diplomacy. Unbelievable juvenile stuff, and dangerous.


34 posted on 03/14/2014 9:06:56 PM PDT by Kackikat
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To: John Semmens

:)


35 posted on 03/14/2014 9:07:04 PM PDT by GeronL (Vote for Conservatives not for Republicans!)
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Double-secret repercussions.


36 posted on 03/14/2014 9:07:48 PM PDT by Rio (Proud resident of the State of Jefferson)
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To: varmintman

*chuckle*

Since Kerry has had two very wealthy wives, I’m beginning to wonder what “assets” he has the rest of us can’t see. (wink wink)


37 posted on 03/14/2014 9:24:25 PM PDT by berdie
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To: John Semmens

On this one Kerry really showed his low and backward level of reasoning. With the Muslims already in the USA his remarks can make an argument that the USA should not be a Nation because there are so many more Muslims in the world. Just perhaps this is what Obama is reaching to accomplish.


38 posted on 03/14/2014 9:33:20 PM PDT by noinfringers2 ( /*)
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To: John Semmens
 photo KerryHeinzHandsUp2_zpsc044b437.jpg
39 posted on 03/14/2014 9:53:59 PM PDT by HotHunt
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To: John Semmens
Not content to wait for decisive action from the Obama Administration, Senator John McCain (R-AZ) is reportedly on his way to Ukraine “to serve as a ‘human shield’ against any further Russian incursions. All we really need is for people of stature to face down these cowardly invaders. If FDR or Churchill had placed themselves in front of the German Army on the Polish border in 1939 Hitler would never have dared attack.”

***

Priceless. Could be the old fool may have finally found a useful purpose. LOL

Thanks again for the ping.

40 posted on 03/14/2014 10:47:01 PM PDT by fatnotlazy
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