OK now that is just torture. The hancuffs are one thing but ball bottoms were banned under the Geneva Conventions on human rights ;)
Naw, that was just in the E.U. You're good to go.
What size shoe you wear? I'll see if I can't round up a nice pair of platforms for ya. Prolly pick up a pair of aviator sunglasses while I'm at it. Fix ya right up, my man :-)