Posted on 12/18/2013 2:15:41 PM PST by Impala64ssa
With a week to go before the big day, I’ve need to get something off my chest: If I hear Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime” again I’m going to convert to Norse paganism, grab a battle-ax and lay waste to the local all-holiday radio station.
The choir of children sing their song! Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong! ding Ahhhhhhh… "SECURITY! A Viking just killed the board op! Save us from the wrath of the Northmen!"
The ex-Beatle abomination is number one on my list and I can’t even bear to embed the video. But there are other horrifying songs that litter airwaves, malls and waiting rooms in an effort to ruin this time of year.
2. Band Aid "Do They Know Its Christmas"
A common question among early 80s New Romantics was “What do Bob Geldof and Midge Ure think about the birth of Christ?” Unfortunately they answered with a British “all-star” carol featuring heartwarming lines such as:
And the Christmas bells that ring there Are the clanging chimes of doom Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you
Just try to enjoy those presents now, you Thatcherite fascists!
3. Bruce Springsteen "Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town" Springsteen is popular in New Jersey because he always sings about escaping New Jersey. Santa didn’t get the hint and is flying into Newark unless Bruce can ward him off with his gravelly voice and faux stage banter. This song mostly makes the list because I’ve heard it every day of Advent since I discovered radio. Enough.
4. Wham! "Last Christmas" face on a lover with a fire in his heart A man under cover but you tore him apart
George Michael isn’t singing about Santa or the baby Jesus in this one. But occasionally you can hear it hummed in public bathrooms coast to coast.
5. John Lennon "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)" In a world of bad ideas, “Hey, let’s ask the atheist to write a Christmas song!” might have the worst results. As the video shows, the proper spelling is “Xmas” and the season needs less decking the halls and more dying children in far-off places. Ex-Beatles and Christmas don't mix.
So those are my picks. What do you think are the worst Christmas songs of all time?
Ya. And he really isn’t that great of a singer or artist (IMO).
If you like a tone deaf singer then he’s your man.
“I actually like the John Lennon song.”
Yes, I like it too, it’s one of my fave “lefty” songs. My super fave of those (and I’m sure I’ve said this here before) is “How can we dance (when our beds are burning)? by Midnight Oil.
I just love that song, I know it is nonsense, but I just love to dance around like a crazy hippie when I hear it.
And I used to be a somewhat crazy hippie, but I was still a conservative even back in the day.
I never knew the exact name to the John Lennon one. I can’t stand it at all. I don’t like the McCartney tune, but I can at least tolerate it.
A couple that make my “worst of” list:
“Santa Claus is a Black Man” by Akim and Teddy Vann. Okay, before some lurking DU’er brands me a raaaaaacist, let me say I didn’t have a problem with this song until one Christmas season back in college. I was working as a seasonal hire for a security company on the late shift. My supervisor, and most of the other staff happened to be black. So, it was pretty much a given that the radio in the guard shack was going to be set to the local black radio station. No problem there, either. The problem was that said station played “Santa Claus is a Black Man” at least *five or six times a shift*. Every day. For nearly three weeks straight. I was ready to hang myself from the rafters by Christmas Eve.
Gabriel’s Message, by Sting. Sting doesn’t do a bad job, to be fair. But Gabriel’s Message is my absolute favorite Christmas song, and has a deep emotional connection with me. I felt the synth-pop backing and the modernizing of the vocals in Sting’s version just diminished something very special.
At least Peter Garrett is a Christian (albeit a Lefty one).
“Honey” (Bobby Goldsboro) - fake sentiment.
Oh. my. goodness! How can you diss that song? It is the saddest song in the world. That song has been making me cry since I first heard it on the radio, how long ago was that? Don’t tell, but probably about 40 years!
Hubby played it for me the other day, I was crying!
I love that song, deep in my heart, I love it to death.
(Nope, not sarcastic.)
It was a great song, probably the only song about Hollis, Queens, at that time a pretty integrated neighborhood, iirc.
“Jingle Bells” as butchered by Babs Streisand.
What a horrible horrible experience listening to that.
I got to ask:
Where is the love for Christmas shmaltz!!!
Yeah, some of these songs are ‘syrupy ‘ but we only hear these songs for maybe a month a year!
I hope I’m not the only one who enjoys Christmas songs regardless of political affiliation of the singer....Let the lefties hate ;)!!
( I know this thread is in good fun-—just hope I alone am the Only lover of Shmaltz!)
The first hundred times hearing these pieces, I found them cute, but the novelty eventually wore off and "Enough is too much, already!" I am slowly learning tolerance of many things and patience from the Holy Spirit, He has not yet succeded in teaching me tolerance for these two songs!
It was big here in Pittsburgh years ago. Now all the stations play only the worst stuff nominated on this thread.
I like’em all.
Merry Christmas! *<|;o)~~
For some rocking Christmas music check out the Brian Setzer Orchestra. Brian and the boys have made Christmas music a bit a niche over the years releasing a bunch of Christmas album and they’re great. There’s something about laying a rockabilly guitar on top of a whole big band orchestra that just....works.
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