Posted on 12/18/2013 2:15:41 PM PST by Impala64ssa
With a week to go before the big day, I’ve need to get something off my chest: If I hear Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime” again I’m going to convert to Norse paganism, grab a battle-ax and lay waste to the local all-holiday radio station.
The choir of children sing their song! Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong! ding Ahhhhhhh… "SECURITY! A Viking just killed the board op! Save us from the wrath of the Northmen!"
The ex-Beatle abomination is number one on my list and I can’t even bear to embed the video. But there are other horrifying songs that litter airwaves, malls and waiting rooms in an effort to ruin this time of year.
2. Band Aid "Do They Know Its Christmas"
A common question among early 80s New Romantics was “What do Bob Geldof and Midge Ure think about the birth of Christ?” Unfortunately they answered with a British “all-star” carol featuring heartwarming lines such as:
And the Christmas bells that ring there Are the clanging chimes of doom Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you
Just try to enjoy those presents now, you Thatcherite fascists!
3. Bruce Springsteen "Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town" Springsteen is popular in New Jersey because he always sings about escaping New Jersey. Santa didn’t get the hint and is flying into Newark unless Bruce can ward him off with his gravelly voice and faux stage banter. This song mostly makes the list because I’ve heard it every day of Advent since I discovered radio. Enough.
4. Wham! "Last Christmas" face on a lover with a fire in his heart A man under cover but you tore him apart
George Michael isn’t singing about Santa or the baby Jesus in this one. But occasionally you can hear it hummed in public bathrooms coast to coast.
5. John Lennon "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)" In a world of bad ideas, “Hey, let’s ask the atheist to write a Christmas song!” might have the worst results. As the video shows, the proper spelling is “Xmas” and the season needs less decking the halls and more dying children in far-off places. Ex-Beatles and Christmas don't mix.
So those are my picks. What do you think are the worst Christmas songs of all time?
I have my reasons...
ANY Christmas song played prior to at least first week of December...
Doubly so if played before Halloween.
While I realize some people like the beat, couldn't he at least have hired Bob Dylan or anybody else to write better lyrics?
Well at least they mention Christmas. If liberals had their way they would be singing Happy Ramadan.
Sorry for the typo.
“Christmas Shoes” is by far and away the worst Christmas song ever written. I hate that song. I am glad that the local stations have finally gotten the message and don’t play it any more.
So far as I can see, none of these songs is really awful by any means. “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer” is certainly stupid, but if you only have to listen to these songs for one month out of the year, there’s not much point in complaining.
Spike Jones “Barnyard Christmas”
I totally agree about the McCartney song.
That song was something culled together in a hurry so money can be made during Christmas season.
It’s dull and dumb.
Put me down for “Jingle Bell Rock”. Unless, of course, the Spirit of the Season involves multiple chainsaw murder.
That was a horrible song. No idea what the radio stations were thinking. I always hated that Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney.
No, actually, the only George Michael creations that make sense in public restrooms are “I’m Your Man” (”If you wanna do it, do it right (right?) do it with me...”) and then when the other guy turns out to be an undercover vice officer, “Wham Rap”:
“Get back!”
“Hands off!”
“GO FOR IT!”
Absolutely!
My preferneces are traditional carols as well as John Prine, old time country and some novelty songs.
I must admit Dominick the Christmas Donkey did grow on me...kinda like a wart.
Fatty Claus, Christmas in a Beer Joint, and Merry Chrismas from the Family are also favs. Oh and Cledus Judd...
Mariah Carey “All I Want for Christmas Is You”.
I hear it over and over and over and over and over and over..........and over.....
Pretty much anything by Pomplamoose gets on my nerves.
Thankfully, I’m able to avoid that stuff, not listening music on the radio. There are some Christmas music I can’t avoid though. Anything by Tran-Siberian Orchestra and the First Noel. The former for obvious reasons and the latter, have you ever read the words. It’s so clumsy and banal.
And by the light of that same star
Three Wise men came from country far
To seek for a King was their intent
And to follow the star wherever it went.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel!
My favorite is Hark! the Herald Angels Sing
I thought it was "Police Nab Mi Dad."
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