DUmmie FUnnies 11-09-12 (DUmmies invite us to Kamp Kumbaya!)

"Let's all be pals now, shall we? And why don't you poor, misguided, voting-against-your-own-interests Republicans--why don't you all come over to OUR campfire here at Kamp Kumbaya and stay for a while and become enlightened like us?" That's the theme here in this day-after THREAD by DUmmie dawg, "A serious and sympathetic post for any lurking conservatives."

So it turns out the DUmmies like us, after all. Isn't that nice? Let's all get along. Just pull out our spines and lobotomize our brains, and we can all become one big happy family, living in a beautiful Prog Land of Big Teat, Big Nanny, Big Gaia, Big Barrenhood, Big Homo, and Big Weed. Ah, it's a brave new world!

So let us now all hold hands and skip on over to Kamp Kumbaya, in Campfire Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, battered and bruised but unbowed, is in the [brackets]:

[Sniff, sniff . . . (wiping tears from eyes) . . . What's that you say, DUmmie dawg? You have a SYMPATHETIC post for us? Are you being serious? Why, yes, you are. You even say so: "A serious and sympathetic post." Please, go on, DUmmie dawg. And don't mind me if I'm still blubbering a bit. It's been a rough go.]

Your pollsters and your pundits lied to you. They told you all the mainstream polls were "skewed". They told you it was going to be a Romney landslide.

[How about when YOUR pollsters told you that Gore was going to win? Oh, that's right. He did. But the rethuglicans stole it. Or how about when your pollsters told you Kerry was going to win? Oh, that's right. He did. But the rethuglicans stole it. So . . . hmmm . . . could it be possible . . . Philadelphia, Cleveland, Miami. . . . A few hundred thousand votes in a few key states. . . . NAAAAHHH!!!]

They lie to you about other things as well. They are lying to you about climate change.

[You see, the truth is this: Climate change (formerly, "global warming") can ONLY be man-made. More specifically, it can only be rich-white-man-made. Otherwise, there would NEVER be ANY variation in climate. The weather would be EXACTLY the same from year to year. . . . BTW, DUmmies, the 1930s called. They want you to come and visit the Dust Bowl.]

And they constantly lie to you about the income distribution of the tax cuts they propose.

[The truth is this: We should tax everyone making over $250,000 a year--we should tax those rich white b*st*rds at 100% of their income! No, change that, 110%! Put them in chains! Make them indentured servants! Get out the whips! That'll solve our debt crisis! Then we'll have all the money we need for roads and bridges and schools and teachers and free healthcare and free birth control and free smart phones and . . . and. . . . Hold on, wait a minute. . . . If we take all the money away from all the rich people, and then they have no money left, then how. . . . No, don't want to think about it!! Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts! Tax the rich! Tax the rich! Income equality! Free birth control! Step right up, getchyer free Obamaphone!]

The biggest lies they tell, though, are about us - the liberals. The truth is this:

[Oh, please tell us, DUmmie dawg! It's become obvious now, based on what you have said, that they must have been withholding the truth from us about you liberals! Please straighten us out!]

[BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh, that's a good one! I get it, you're starting out with a little humor! "Hard work"! Ha! You've turned the safety net into a hammock. Well, I suppose you do believe in SOME people doing hard work, so you can have some wealth to redistribute.]

[It would be best, but we're not going to do anything about it. In fact, we're going to reward non-work, and provide incentives for people who want to stay on non-work. And we're going to punish the people who do work hard and who do achieve, loading lots of disincentives on them and taxing them out the wazoo. Sounds like a plan!]

[So let's provide programs to encourage and enable GENERATIONS of Americans to abandon marriage and have no father in the home, thus destroying the black family, destroying neighborhoods, driving out jobs, ruining schools, creating crime. . . . Let's have strong HOMOSEXUAL "families" (sic, sick). . . . Let's punish hard-working families, loading them down with so much taxes and government regulations that they have no time or money for anything else! Yes, strong families! Do go on, DUmmie dawg. . . .]

We believe in the freedom of religion. We would never support a candidate who was openly hostile to Christianity. . . .

[Oh, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! This may be the FUnniest one of all! You see, we've been doing the DUmmie FUnnies here for over eight years. And if there's one leitmotif running through the annals of DUmmieland, it is the open, abject HATRED of Christianity and Christians! Every day, in every way, Christianity is ridiculed and reviled in the DUmp. Expressing traditional moral values is grounds for tombstoning. Now I suppose the CANDIDATES you support are a little more circumspect about being OPENLY hostile to Christianity. They want to get elected. But their policies--abortion, homosexual "marriage," the Obamacare HHS mandate--these are a BIG slap in the face to Christians. But, please continue, DUmmie dawg . . .]

We believe in success. Most of us do not favor punitive tax rates for the rich. . . .

["Most of us" = "Hardly any of us." The whole Obama "campaign," if you want to call it that, was BASED on punitive tax rates for the rich.]

We believe in free enterprise capitalism (well, most of us). . . . we favor regulated capitalism. . . .

[As long as we can smoke our weed and abort our babies and shack up with anything we please and live in a safe, nanny-state, cradle-to-grave, mediocre, gray little world. And make others put up with that and pay for that.]

but we are motivated by our love of the country and its people - ALL of its people.

[Except the Rethuglicans. And the Christians. And the rich white guys. They can go to hell. Or, better yet, they should be reprogrammed and bow to our will and become like us. Yes, come join us here at Kamp Kumbaya, dear friends! We'll fix you!]

[I can see the commercial now . . . (Announcer's voice, with images of tattooed freaks playing on the screen) . . . We're the Democrats. We're your neighbors. You know, the weird ones down the block, the lesbians who take their out-of-wedlock children to the day-care center before going to the Wicca meeting. Yeah, that's us. We're your neighbors. We're the Democrats.]

[THANK you, DUmmie dawg! Thank you for enlightening us! Thank you for your kind sympathy and concern! Thank you for inviting us over to Kamp Kumbaya! We really appreciate it. You like us! You really like us! No wonder your conciliatory post got HUNDREDS of recs and likes over there at the DUmp! Let's hear from a few of our new friends . . .]

He's your President, too. . . . I am confident that President Obama will work in the best interests of all Americans. . . .

[And there will be so many more of us now who will be laid off, unemployed, reduced hours, reduced benefits, dropped from employer health-care plans. . . . Why, just THINK of all that President Obama can do for us now!]

Only one thing to add . . . It is to say this . . . We will no longer tolerate, excuse or let you get away with the disrespect you have shown OUR PRESIDENT AND HIS FAMILY for the past four years! You will be called out . . . Challenged . . . Confronted from this day FORWARD!!!

[Thrown into the Reeducation Center for reprogramming! To HELL with the First Amendment! No, enough of that! The future must not belong to those who slander the President of Prog Land! FORWARD!!!]

The minute you pass a law based on your religious beliefs, chances are you have just trampled on my beliefs--or non-beliefs.

[OK, then. I hereby withdraw my support for laws against murder, robbery, rape, lying in court, etc., since those all coincide with my religious beliefs. And I will withdraw my support for laws against shooting abortion providers, since I don't want to impose my beliefs on others.]

[The sun is shining. Homosexuals are getting married. Rich white people are being punished. Gaia is in her. . . well, Gaia is in everything, I guess. All is right in the New Left World.]

As much as I was (admittedly) tempted to post something to the effect of MOAR TEARS!!! I found myself feeling some genuine sympathy for them. . . .

[Jeepers, freepers, where'd you get those weepers? Jeepers, freepers, why'd you trust those lies?]

conservative lurkers, well, what can I say; it's the way the cookie crumbles. C'est la vie.

I have no sympathy. . . . so f*** them. . . . I have no sympathy and i want no understanding. These cretins, these f***ing traitorous scumbags can all line up to sniff my @ss. I don't want to play nice. . . . F*** THEM. To all lurking conservatives? I hope your f***ing face rots off.

[Ah, the real DUmmieland returns! I thought I was in Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood there for a while. Situation Normal, All F-worded Up! DUmmie Scootaloo, you are truly a DUmmie in whom there is no guile! And so you win today's PLTA® Award! Congratulations!]

Helloooo.... freepers, trolls, cave dwelllers? Got anything to say about this?

[Yes. It looks like more of the status quo for a while. Tuesday we kicked the can down the road for a couple years. The House remained the same. The Senate remained the same. The incumbent president, the bloom off his rose, won in a squeaker. A few hundred thousand votes in a few key states, and we'd all be singing a different song. Ho hum. We live to fight another day--2014, to be specific. (I'm looking at YOU, Democrat senators up for re-election!) And so, likewise, Kamp Kumbaya proved to be just a fleeting, ephemeral fancy--a mythical Brigadoon that appears for a day and then is no more. Haters gonna hate. DUmmies gonna be DUmmies. The DUmp abides. And so does the DUmmie FUnnies!]

I’m no good at posting. If their thread is still up I’ve written a little response to these people. If you like it, you’re welcome to clean it up nice and post it in that toilet for their edification:

I would like to share my thoughts with all of you at this forum regarding your call to reach out to us with whatever sympathy and love you think you may have within whatever it is you call your soul.
I am a 54 year-old, Barry Goldwater/Ronald Reagan conservative. I believe in the wisdom of the Framers of this great nation, and in the Constitutional Republic they created. I want only to live the American Dream of an independent life. I seek only to defend all of my countrymen’s right to do the same. I am not a racist, homophobic, sexist bigot. I do not care what you do in your bedroom, shoot into your veins, inhale into your lungs or guzzle into your stomachs. I simply want to be left alone to enjoy the fruits of my labor. Yet because of my beliefs I am called a nazi fascist redneck retard that wants to put the black man back in chains, women barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, poison the air and water, and starve little children. I am mocked and ridiculed at every turn for these things I believe in and am made to feel an outcast in my own country. I have been witness to the most vile and despicable displays of open contempt toward people whom I greatly admire; Sarah Palin, Allen West, Clarence Thomas, Ronald Reagan...the list goes on and on. Think about the things your side has said about these good people, I mean really think about it. Do you not feel ashamed? You, who claim to be “for womens rights”. Do you not remember the way you treated Governor Palin? Do you not recall Bill Maher’s comments about her? David Letterman’s? Chris Rock? Consider what was done to Clarence Thomas when his Supreme Court nomination was being reviewed in the Senate. This is a good and honorable man. A man who, granted, took advantage of the benefits of afirmative action. He got a great education from those benefits and rose to the position of Supreme Court Justice of the United States. And look what your side tried to do to him. You. Who claim to be “for the black man”. Do you not once consider the consequences of your actions? Have you no shame?
I live in the state of Wisconsin. Do I need to remind you of your behavior after the 2010 election? Our new governor and legislature were only trying to bring some fiscal responsibility to a government which had run up a three billion dollar debt. You, however didn’t like what they were proposing. So your side forced us all to endure an eighteen month screaming temper tantrum. The State Senators from your side of the aisle bagged ass out of state in order to deny a quorum on votes for those proposals. You unleashed an angry mob on our State Capital, broke down the barriers, fought with police, rampaged up and down the halls, screamed from the gallery while the legislature tried to do it’s job. And you dared to declare, “This is what democracy looks like!” You put us through two gruelling recall elections in an attempt to get your way, and when those failed, you blubbered to CNN that “democracy died tonight!” Again, I ask you. Have you no shame? Is there no bottom to the depths you will lower yourselves to get your way? Do you truly expect me to accept your invitation to brotherly love after all this? Honestly?
Know this truth. I am a proud citizen of the United States. I have pledged allegiance to her flag and to the Republic for which it stands. I am ready and willing to lay down my life in defence of the Constitution of the United States. I am honor bound by these truths to respect and honor the office of President of the United States, but I am not bound to respect any particular individual who happens to hold that office. Rather it is up to that individual to earn that respect from me. He is my servant, I am not his. President Obama has wrecklessly spent my country to the brink of bancruptcy and handed the bill to my grandchildren. He has ruined our credit rating. He has undermined bancruptcy laws to enrich his union friends, printed money to finance wild dreams of “green energy”, thumbed his nose at our international allies, armed our sworn enemies and gone golfing while our soldiers and an ambassador were slaughtered in Libya. He has declared that voting is an act of revenge and then dares to demand that I succumb to his will after he gains another term. You all cheered gleefully his re-election after threatening to riot if he lost, and you want me to feel your love? Not a chance. You may strip me of all that I have worked to achieve. You may even put me in jail for the things I dare to say, but you will not break me. I will fight you. With all my spirit and individuality I will fight your quest for whatever future you seek for my country. When everything else has been taken away from me the only thing remaining is my mind and my spirit. I intend to use those as weapons against you and yours until this madness ends.

I remain sincerely,
Your Hostile Opposition

which D senators are up for re-election in 2014/ Any in Red States? How many RINOs are up for re-election?

Here is the list of Senators up for re-election in 2014.

D Senators in non-safe seats might include Max Baucus (D-MT); Mark Begich (D-AK); Kay Hagan (D-NC); Tim Johnson (D-SD); Mary Landrieu, (D-LA); Corpse Lautenberg. (D-NJ) (not a red state, but the guy's a walking mummy and might fall to a favorite son type like Chris Obamahugger Christie); Mark Pryor (D-AR); Turd Rockefeller IV (D-WV) (how this barnacle gets re-elected in a super red state over and over is beyond me); Shaheen, Jeanne (D-NH) (purple state with a conservative woman as its other senator); Mark Udall (D-CO) (purple state); Tom Udall (D-NM) (purple state); Mark Warner (D-VA) (purple state).

As for RINOs up in 2014: Susan Collins (R-ME) (but good luck getting someone less bad from THAT blue state); Lindsey Graham (R-SC) (ABSOLUTELY MUST BE PRIMARIED, win or lose). That's about it for the RINOs unless you count the slightly squishy Lamar Alexander (TN) or John Cornyn (TX), and I don't.

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