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DUmmie FUnnies 08-31-12 (DUmmies Already Making Excuses For Election Loss)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | August 31, 2012 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 08/31/2012 10:20:29 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

Well, it seems like some DUmmies have seen the handwriting on the wall and are already coming up with excuses for Obama losing in November. So what are their excuses? The usual suspects as you can see in this THREAD, "Why the Republicans could win big this year." You have seen it all before. Of course, DUmmies can never accept the REAL reason for an election loss. This is why the mental meltdown in DUmmieland in the event the Bamster loses could be monumental. The highest DUmmie meltdown ever which is really saying something. So let us watch the DUmmies line up their usual excuses in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, getting his popcorn and pizza stockpiled for election night entertainment, is in the [barackets]:

Why the Republicans could win big this year

[Diebold. Need I say more?]

Why? Through cheating of course. Conservatives could never win in a free and fair election. They know that. So they will cheat. A lot. Here's how:

[Prepare the leather restraining straps for DUmmie Glaisne on election night when he goes completely BERSERK.]

e

1. Voter ID Laws. These are being pursued by many states which are designed specifically to disenfranchise students, elderly, minorities, and the poor.

[Yes, such a pity that they can't afford FREE photo ID.]

2. Purging Voter Rolls. Theses activities being pursued by such states as Florida, Texas, and Pennsylvania are using bad data and faulty pretexts to throw hundreds of thousands of legitimate voters off the voter rolls.

[Sniff! Thousands of legitimate dead votes will be purged from the voter rolls. Zombies ARISE!!!]

3. Partisan Election Officials. Too many election officials in charge of the day to day running of the election are republican operatives and party supporters. Their actions include reducing early voting and reducing hours the polls are open. They are an obstruction to free and fair elections.

[Yes, shame on them for closing the polls at the time they are legally required to do so.]

4. Direct Voter Suppression. Right wing tea bagger groups like True the Vote will be sending poll watchers to minority and poor dominated precincts with the specific aim to intimidate and interfere with voting by minorities and the poor. Other actions that will occur, especially in swing states, that have been done in the past include illegal police road blocks on roads leading to polling places, too few voting machines in democratic districts, a preponderance of broken and malfunctioning voting machines located at democratic districts.

[Perhaps we need more of those Philly Black Panthers to act as poll watchers as they did in 2008.]

5. Electronic Voting Machines. Easily hacked and manipulated proprietary electronic voting machines are owned and maintained by companies with known support for republican candidates. These machines have been proven multiple times to be easily hacked and have provided unusual and unexpected results in many races. The companies have resisted investigation by claiming their machines are proprietary, which is a problem for fair and free elections.

[Your voting machine is already set on "R."]

6. Unregulated and unlimited propaganda in campaigns through so called social welfare super pacs thanks to Citizens United.

[DAMN YOU FIRST AMENDMENT!!!]

This means even greater effort on our part to get out the vote and register new voters. Do not underestimate the other side. They are motivated, disciplined, and are cheating!

[How can they already be cheating if the vote hasn't even started yet? And now onb to the other DUmmies lining up their November excuses...]

You may be right, but we heard the same things in 2008.

[Yes, isn't it strange how all this Republican "cheating" failed so miserably that year?]

They've made HUGE STRIDES in 4 years. 10% here, 10% there -- in just one or two swing states (it's already happening in Florida and PA) . . .

[Practice makes perfect.]

Scares the bejeeezus out of me. Our side needs to be in the streets making noise about this.

[Let the flatulent eruptions begin!]

I used an interactive electoral college map the other day. If you give Romney all of the states that he hold a >5% lead and you add in PA for the Voter ID laws, Florida for the voter purge, Wisconsin for the Voter ID laws, and Ohio for the Voting Machines. This gives Rmoney 268. All he would need to do is carry Virginia or North Carolina. Some scary stuff in my opinion.

[Would you like me to send you a coupon for a FREE heavy doody Depends?]

These are all the reasons why we are no longer a Democracy...

[On November 7 we shall send you a notice on which Walmart Detention Center to report to.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies; election
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To: PJ-Comix
Why? Through cheating of course. Conservatives could never win in a free and fair election. They know that. So they will cheat. A lot. Here's how:

[Prepare the leather restraining straps for DUmmie Glaisne on election night when he goes completely BERSERK.]

e <--- RACIST CODE ALERT!!!!!

1. Voter ID Laws. These are being pursued by many states which are designed specifically to disenfranchise students, elderly, minorities, and the poor.

21 posted on 08/31/2012 12:31:17 PM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel (Catastrophic Anthropogenic Climate Alterations - The acronym explains the science.)
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To: PJ-Comix
These are all the reasons why we are no longer a Democracy. Representative Republic, @$$hole!
22 posted on 08/31/2012 1:14:46 PM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel (Catastrophic Anthropogenic Climate Alterations - The acronym explains the science.)
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To: bcsco

Really, how much noise do you expect assembled vaginas to make?


23 posted on 08/31/2012 1:15:39 PM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel (Catastrophic Anthropogenic Climate Alterations - The acronym explains the science.)
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To: Argus

Not only that but the biggest problems were in the areas run by Democrats. Bill Daley was Gore’s campaign manager and the voting method was the EXACT method used in Chicago for decades. It did not interfere in the slightest with the voter fraud here but the Florida Democrats were too stupid to pull it off?


24 posted on 08/31/2012 1:21:05 PM PDT by arrogantsob (Obama MUST Go. Sarah herself supports Romney.)
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To: PJ-Comix
1. Voter ID Laws. These are being pursued by many states which are designed specifically to disenfranchise students, elderly, minorities, and the poor.

I've had a photo ID on me since I was 16 years old. How would any of these groups NOT have photo IDs?

25 posted on 08/31/2012 1:21:25 PM PDT by Future Snake Eater (CrossFit.com)
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To: PJ-Comix

How demented does one have to be to believe that Voter IDs will increase fraud?


26 posted on 08/31/2012 1:22:01 PM PDT by arrogantsob (Obama MUST Go. Sarah herself supports Romney.)
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To: Cletus.D.Yokel
Really, how much noise do you expect assembled vaginas to make?

No, I'm not going there. My lips are sealed. But I was referring to their rained out, pathetic, miniscule attempts at interfering with the convention by my "oh, wait..." ending.

27 posted on 08/31/2012 1:39:07 PM PDT by bcsco (Bourbon gets better with age...I age better with Bourbon.)
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To: PJ-Comix
They've made HUGE STRIDES in 4 years.

HUGE STRIDES of what? Where? Is there ANY evidence of this assertion whatsoever?

Scares the bejeeezus out of me. Our side needs to be in the streets making noise about this.

What scares you? "Making noise" about what? That a fellow DUmmy just pulled some scenario out of his sore ass?

These people are simply unbelievable. Not a shred of proof, pure 100% conjecture, and they're completely petrified and angry over it!

28 posted on 08/31/2012 1:41:21 PM PDT by Future Snake Eater (CrossFit.com)
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To: LibLieSlayer

SO LEAVE..DONT BE HANGING ROUND A DUMP AS YOU SAY..


29 posted on 08/31/2012 1:49:12 PM PDT by rxtn41
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To: PJ-Comix
Having grown up in Chicago, ALL of the games they accuse us of they have practiced for 50 years in every Illinois election. Personally, I believe making election fraud a shooting crime would leave thousands of SEIU, union and public school teachers piled up in blood soaked ditches.

Talk about Fraud? We used to get Democrat voting reminders for my grandfather, well into the eighties, when he went under the sod in Waldheim cemetery in 1940. Any complaints to the Cook County Election Board? They quietly vanished, like a fart in a typhoon.

Perhaps that is why simply shooting the Chicago Democrat/Thieves Guild is too quick for these traitors.

30 posted on 08/31/2012 8:31:15 PM PDT by jonascord (Any Democrat = Classic examples of the Downing Effect.)
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To: jonascord
We used to get Democrat voting reminders for my grandfather ...

My wife passed away in 1990. I have moved three times since then. When Glenn Beck posted the link to the system that allows you to find who is registered to vote in your area, I looked up my wife's name. Sure enough, a person with her name was registered in the town I lived in before moving here. I checked the phone listing to see if anyone by that name lived in the other city, but I didn't find anyone.

I contacted the local election officials and asked them to investigate. They came back a week later and said someone is registered by her name and it is a legitimate registration (though they couldn't give me any details).

Two weeks after that, I received a voter registration packet in my wife's name at the current address (the third I have lived at since she passed).

So, to recap. I thought (and actually still believe) I had found a fraudulent voter registration. I reported it. After the report was found to have no basis, someone sent me the necessary forms to create a fraudulent voter registration.

As someone upthread said, you can't make this stuff up.

31 posted on 09/01/2012 12:05:24 AM PDT by Stegall Tx (Living off your tax dollars can be kinda fun, but not terribly profitable.)
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To: rxtn41
I have NEVER set mouse on the dump. I have read reposts here on dummy funnies. I do not understand your post... I was referring to posts on the dump being similar to a non curable std. Does that anger you?

LLS

32 posted on 09/01/2012 4:39:56 AM PDT by LibLieSlayer ("if it looks like you are not gonna make it you gotta get mean, I mean plumb mad-dog mean" J. Wales)
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To: Cletus.D.Yokel
Really, how much noise do you expect assembled vaginas to make?

I blame Eve Ensler for anthropomorphic "vaginas" droning on in predictably leftist ways. They are quite loud. A little too extroverted for vaginas.

They're actually rather oddly misnamed, don't you think? You'd think subject matter experts wouldn't make such a gaffe, it's tantamount to mistaking a nose for sinuses.

We had a fairly lengthy discussion of this on the NC forum just yesterday. Given the extroversion and the droning noise, I suggest they be hence forth termed "Vulvuzelas."

In the interest of linguistic clarity, of course.

33 posted on 09/01/2012 5:04:55 AM PDT by RegulatorCountry
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To: PJ-Comix
Ironic, isn't it? They gripe about voter fraud, and then they gripe about the methods that are being used to stop voter fraud. If they were truly worried about cheating in elections, they would welcome voter ID laws and purging of the deceased from the voting rolls.

No wonder they call ‘em DUmmies!

34 posted on 09/01/2012 5:50:17 AM PDT by meyer (It's 1860 all over again - the taxpayer is the new "N" word)
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To: PJ-Comix
These machines have been proven multiple times to be easily hacked and have provided unusual and unexpected results in many races.

Name it. Just one "proven" hacked machine, when and where. Just one, and I will concede that it is possible to hack a Diebold machine.

35 posted on 09/01/2012 6:01:34 AM PDT by submarinerswife (Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, while expecting different results~Einstein)
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To: rxtn41; LibLieSlayer

PJ & Charles have full size condom body suits for STD immunity, some sharp wooden stakes and job applications in order to battle the freaks at DU so we don’t have to visit that leper colony to get the goods for the next great DUmmie FUnnie episodes.

Why are you so angry @ post #2? Did he touch a sensitive nerve? Are you emotional today? Do you need a hug?


36 posted on 09/01/2012 6:16:37 AM PDT by submarinerswife (Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, while expecting different results~Einstein)
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To: PJ-Comix
4. Direct Voter Suppression. ~~snip~~ too few voting machines in democratic districts, a preponderance of broken and malfunctioning voting machines located at democratic districts.
Ah yes. The good old 'too few voting machines in democratic districts that are broken anyway' trick. Yep always loved THAT one. Except that it's Democrat Election officials who furnish the too few and broken voting machines!

5. Electronic Voting Machines. Blah, blah, blah, blah - ad infinitum blah-blah.
Since 2002 at the least we've had One Electronic Voting Machine at our polling place. And I have yet to see one person use it! And over those years we've voted from 6:20am to 6:30pm and NADA, nobody near it. Not early, not mid day, not late night -- not ever.
6. Unregulated and unlimited propaganda in campaigns through so called social welfare super pacs thanks to Citizens United.
Yep. Dam You, Citizens United, how dare you. Just because Corporations -- which are owned by Stock Holders, who are actual PEOPLE -- have a say in Elections. Only UNIONS are supposed to have that de facto 'Super Pac' advantage!
These are all the reasons why we are no longer a Democracy.
Arrrrgh! We are NOT a 'Democracy' you friggen DUmmie, and we have never been one! The USA is a Constitutional REPUBLIC. With a representative democracy (note small 'd') form of government (1). A 'Democracy' (note capital 'D') form of government is two wolves and a sheep voting on what's for dinner, ya jackass.

(1) If we were a true 'Democracy' we really wouldn't need Congress. We would be voting on everything, not the 'Representative' that we elect! That is - if the Dictator allowed the election in the first place

37 posted on 09/01/2012 6:25:09 AM PDT by Condor51 (Si vis pacem, para bellum.)
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To: submarinerswife

I laughed so hard I had to change my pants!

LLS


38 posted on 09/01/2012 7:46:20 AM PDT by LibLieSlayer ("if it looks like you are not gonna make it you gotta get mean, I mean plumb mad-dog mean" J. Wales)
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To: PJ-Comix
2. Purging Voter Rolls. Theses activities being pursued by such states as Florida, Texas, and Pennsylvania are using bad data and faulty pretexts to throw hundreds of thousands of legitimate voters off the voter rolls.

[Sniff! Thousands of legitimate dead votes will be purged from the voter rolls. Zombies ARISE!!!]

I remember a caller to the local morning talk show in Austin who checked the voter roll in Travis county and her parents both voted in 2008 and 2010. Both passed away in 2005. I bet they voted dim too.

39 posted on 09/01/2012 7:51:30 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (RINO season is open. No limit. Make them extinct.)
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To: LibLieSlayer

Sorry bout that, just mis-interprated...that it was a negative against FreeRepublic....


40 posted on 09/03/2012 6:08:58 AM PDT by rxtn41
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