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DUmmie FUnnies 07-24-12 (DUmmies wonder: "Is It Time to Leave America?")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | July 24, 2012 | DUmmie Yavin4, DUmmies, and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 07/24/2012 7:57:55 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson

It has become a tradition in DUmmieland. From time to time, one of the disgruntled denizens of the DUmp will post a thread about how they are seriously considering fleeing Jesusland and migrating to Socialist Nirvana (e.g., Canada, France, one of the Scandinavian countries). But then they don't leave! They keep hanging around, whining about how bad 'Murrka is. It's all talk and no U-Haul.

We have such a whinefest today here in this THREAD by DUmmie Yavin4, "Is It Time to Leave America?"

So let us now gather in the lobby of the DUmmieland Useless Hostel, where the prog pilgrims are packing their backpacks and preparing to depart, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, declaring this a DUbble-DUFU Tuesday, is in the [brackets]:

Is It Time to Leave America?

[In your case, DUmmie Yavin4, yes.]

8%+ unemployment is rapidly becoming the new normal.

[Hey, it's Obamanomics. Get used to it.]

We have a Republican party dominated by hot-headed, ignorant, racists like Michelle Bachman. We have a Democratic party that is too weak to stand up for their own principles. Rule by oligarchy has been approved by the SCOTUS. And now, we have to be armed to the teeth.

[Just. Give. Up.]

Is this the kind of country that you want to raise your children in?

[You're forgetting, Yavin4, that most DUmmies don't have children. They have abortions. And homosex. And so the DUmmie dearth rate makes that a non-issue.]

Is this the kind of nation that you want to grow old in and have to pay for your health care. . . ?

[No way! Let's go to a country with rationed government health care, where we can wait three years for a hip replacement--if we qualify, if we don't get too old in the meantime and get sent to the Death Panel. . . .]

Do you want your tax dollars to pay for yet another war in Iran instead of education?

[If you're talking about FEDERAL tax dollars, then yes, I DO want those dollars to go toward a legitimate federal function like national defense and to stay clear away from a local matter like education.]

Emigrating to another nation is extremely difficult, but people do it every day when conditions in their native lands get so bad they have no choice.

[FUnnie how so many of them want to come to AMERICA! What's WRONG with them??]

We're nearing that point.

[Start packing!]

I know some of you will call me a coward and say, "stay and fight".

[No, I'll call you a DUmmie and say, "Please go!"]

Tell me, how are you going to fight an oligarchy, the religious nut cases, and the bigots who are armed to the teeth all at the same time?

[You can't. So go to Iran, for example, where you can escape all that.]

I am preparing to leave and live elsewhere.

[Bon voyage! Or are you going to be a big tease, DUmmie Yavin4, and end up staying?]

[Now let's see what your fellow travelers--who usually end up being non-travelers--have to say . . .]

My wife wants us to leave. We have an offer. I am waiting to see what happens in November. If that f*** Romney gets in, I am so out of here.

[Oh, why wait? I hear if you book travel to leave no later than November 5, you can get a big discount! So don't delay! Call today! That's 1-800-TOR-ONTO. Operators are standing by. . . .]

And go where?

[ANY place other than racist, bigoted, redneck, backwards 'Murrka!!]

To A More Civilized, Advanced Nation. Northern Europe. Canada. Heck, Colombia even looks good.

["EVEN" Colombia?? What are you, some sort of racist, that you can only go to white northern nations??]

Columbia???? You're joking right???

I think he said Colombia, which is a country. Columbia is much harder to get into.

[Not if you're a trangendered Hispanic African-American lesbian. You can even get a scholarship.]

if the entire planet is going to go to hell, thanks to the greed of a few, I want to be around people who read books, not the morons I see everywhere behaving as if they were on a reality TV show while never lifting their eyes from their anti social "texting" culture.

[u mad bro?]

There are problems with this. . . . You will be a foreigner there. And you are totally misinformed if you think other countries treat immigrant people better. In fact . . . the US treats its legal immigrants better than almost every other country treats theirs (if not every country.) . . . Plus, since you're foreign born, don't think your voice is going to count for anything with the government of the country you move to. It isn't. . . .

[DUmmie caseymoz, expect a Kewpie Doll to soon be migrating to your mailbox.]

Basically if you are going to leave your home country then it better be because of total persecution. You will trade the set of problems you know for a new and broader set. You will lose at least 25% of your earning power and your experience and qualifications will also be downgraded or erased.

[Sorry, DUmmie KurtNYC, there are immigration quotas on Kewpies arriving in DUmmieland. Only 1 per day.]

Consider New Zealand if you get the chance.

[If not, consider ZZZZZZzzzzland.]

I would go to France . . .

[That would be Nice.]

but only if the entire family would go too.

[Who needs them? C'mon, what have you got Toulouse? By the way, DUmmie graham4anything, I hear there's a place in France where they don't wear underpants. You may like that.]

Past Generations Did Have It Worse, But We're Regressing Back Into Their Time. Meanwhile, other nations continue to advance.

[Yes, please GO to one of those advanced places. You know, someplace like Zimbabwe, Somalia, Cuba, North Korea, Iran--hey, even Egypt now! Arab Spring, baby!]

a very bad contingent, that has festered, is trying to make America into their new Atlantis.

[Hail, Atlantis!]

They are a loud minority. They think they have it in the bag. . . .

[In the teabag.]

We have let ourselves be cowed by those loud mouths.

[Don't be cowed! Moove!]

I'm in my 50's, and there isn't a snowball's chance in hell that "voting" is going to reverse the slide into fascism in my lifetime.

[All your "vote" are belong to us.]

Maybe you could move to Oz, that wizard is pretty cool.

[Follow the mellow brick road!]

Adios!

[¡Vaya con Gaia!]

would love to move to Great Britain but . . . I would never be able to move there. I . . . know how expensive it is.

That's the problem with all of Europe. It's just too expensive for most of us.

[Welcome to Socialism!]

Food is cheaper in Germany than in the US.

[Hamburgers are plentiful there.]

We went to Ojai yesterday. . . . It was like being in another country.

[Apparently, Ojai is some "new age mecca" near Los Angeles. This appeals to another DUmmie . . .]

I am going to plan a trip, it's not to far away for me. I saw a documentary about a famous ceramic artist, a woman whose name I can't recall. . . .

[Ojai Simpson?]

Beatrice Wood- her studio is still there. . . . I treasure her book- "I Shock Myself."

[I thought benburch was the author of "I Shock Myself."]

I am a ceramicist.

[Confession is always the first step.]

LA is a cesspool of rabid roaches crawling over one another. . . .

[That's racist!]

What we need is a community on DU. A community set aside just for the discussion of expatriot locales. . ..

[Can we question your expatriotism now?]

Maybe we could move en masse, the whole DU community off-shoring to a new land.

[OH PLEASE! OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PUH-LEEEEEZE!!!!!!!!]

There has been talk of this in the past on DU- creating a DU community in RL.

["In RL"?? In Rio Linda? In Russki Land? In the Republic of Looneytoonia?]

Finding like minded people is not so easy, I guess that's why we're all here!

[There in DUmmieland, where you're searching for people with, like, minds.]

I daydream about leaving every day.

[I nightmare about you staying.]

I want to leave too. This country is done. . . . I'm now out of work for a full year with no prospects in sight.

[Is that you, Anthony Weiner?]

What a bunch of malarky. The GOP's old, white men are dying out. . . . They are showing all the signs of a party about to fade into the background.

[I can see November from my house, and I'm not seeing what you're seeing.]

What you fail to recognize is this: For every old pasty white man that should have died ten years ago, there are a THOUSAND roaches in the GOP woodwork, who are far more insane, set to take the old guard's place. . . . don't criticize the realists for knowing the lights are about to go out.

[A thousand points of roach. Yes, we are FAR more insane, we are crawling out of the woodwork, and we are coming for YOU! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!]

do not begrudge us who had the foresight to see the holes in the ship early on. Do not begrudge us for acting early. Do not begrudge those who had hope and now choose to leave with what little they have left. . . . Don't begrudge us. We don't begrudge you for staying. We worry about you. . . . So, don't begrudge us.

[Do NOT begrudge DUmmie 6502, who apparently multiple personalities, perhaps as many as 6,502.]

DU is the echo chamber that magnifies the negatives.

[DU is the wacko chamber that magnetizes the nutcases.]

Your prediction that an Obama re-election (right now about a 50-50 shot) will somehow turn the country around is so demented, I wonder if you're a mole. . . . He is weak, "centrist" (meaning far to the right of Ronald Reagan), and completely incapable of leading people to do anything except show up at the polls.

[DUmmie Doctor J thinks Obama is "far to the right of Ronald Reagan." And DUmmie Doctor J calls OTHER people demented!]

People don't live for thousands of years.

[You wanna bet?]

We tried to emigrate to Canada...They told us... in a polite, Canadian manner... that we were too old and that all we'd do is be a burden to their health care system.

[Wha-WHAAA??? Kind, compassionate Canada?? The socialist health-care utopia?? I don't believe it! Next you'll tell us that their taxes are higher!]

Looking at it from the Canadian perspective, I wouldn't let us in, either.

[No health care for you!]

I have had the emigration bug at many moments in this past year.

[I think you're confusing that with the clap.]

You could resettle Detroit. Seriously.

[Michael Moore could resettle an entire city block.]

Emigrate to California, Oregon and Washington for starters. . . .

[Keep going. Go west, young DUmmie! About another 50 miles west.]

We only lack that moment of crystallization- like Neo in the "Matrix" - and then resolving to WALK THE PATH!

[WALK THE PATH! WEAR THE BEAR! NEO-CRYSTALLIZE THE MOMENT!]

Finland tempts me. But I'd just hate to be "that guy" who makes everyone speak English, because I'm too old and slow to figure out that bird chirp-chirpy language they have.

[NO ONE can understand Finnish. Not even the Finns. Finland tempts you?? It's dark, it's cold, no one can understand what people are saying, everybody's drunk, if they're not drunk they're commiting suicide--no, Finland is not. . . . Well, on second thought. . . .]

My grandson is bi-lingual. . . .

[Well, he's still your grandson. Accept him for who he is.]

Why doesn't anyone mention Venezuela? It is a worker's paradise.

[OK, DUmmie FrodosPet (478 posts), I am calling you out as a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Wherever you go .... there you are.

[And THAT, my friends, is the main problem for any DUmmie wanting to find a nice place to live!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies
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To: DeFault User

“welcome to Cuba, comrade. Here’s you government issued 1951 Chevrolet Bel Air! The keys will cost you 6 million pesoes. Tires are much more than that.


41 posted on 07/25/2012 6:31:46 AM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel (Catastrophic Anthropogenic Climate Alterations - The acronym explains the science.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
figure out that bird chirp-chirpy language they have

Bigot! Most Finns I know are clean and articulate and only use bird chirp-chirpy when they want to.

42 posted on 07/25/2012 6:37:18 AM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel (Catastrophic Anthropogenic Climate Alterations - The acronym explains the science.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

“I want to leave too. This country is done. . . . I’m now out of work for a full year with no prospects in sight.”

That’s the problem with parasites. They are to ignorant to understand that their actions destroyed their host, so they just jump to a new host and bring their destruction with them.

Hey DUmmies, Why are you so despondent? Your agenda has been getting implemented at warp speed, yet you still complain about the completely predictable results!

Idiots, one and all.


43 posted on 07/25/2012 7:06:31 AM PDT by CSM (Keeper of the Dave Ramsey Ping list. FReepmail me if you want your beeber stuned.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
We have a Democratic party that is too weak to stand up for their own principles

Considering how nearly nonexistent their "principles" are, that's quite telling...

44 posted on 07/25/2012 7:08:13 AM PDT by mikrofon (How low CAN you go?)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Apparently, Ojai is some "new age mecca" near Los Angeles.

The next town over from Santa Paula where my Dad spent his teenage years. His Uncle Sam (real uncle, not the govt) had a dry goods store there and agreed to take my dad in. However, after a couple of years, he threw him out. I guess Dad was sort of a "problem child."

45 posted on 07/25/2012 7:10:13 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Beware the Rip in the Space/Time Continuum)
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To: Charles Henrickson
To A More Civilized, Advanced Nation. Northern Europe. Canada. Heck, Colombia even looks good.

Juan Valdez sez- "Stay home, Greengo!"

46 posted on 07/25/2012 7:12:59 AM PDT by mikrofon (DU == Chock Full O' Nuts)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Maybe you could move to Oz, that wizard is pretty cool

We're already living in the Obama Zone...

(Just pay no attention to that POSer behind the curtain.)

47 posted on 07/25/2012 7:19:19 AM PDT by mikrofon (Surrender, DUmmies!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
There has been talk of this in the past on DU- creating a DU community in RL

Yes, Rush Limbaugh is heavily involved with creating a "Re-education Center" in FL near his Southern Command...

Great weather, multicultural activities, with convenient Walmart shopping!

48 posted on 07/25/2012 7:31:15 AM PDT by mikrofon (DUmmies, KOmmies & Huffies -- All Welcome)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I am a ceramicist. This country is done. . . . I'm now out of work for a full year with no prospects in sight.

Now, why does this person being out of work a full year not surprise me?

49 posted on 07/25/2012 8:10:24 AM PDT by NRA1995 (I'll cling to my religion, cigars and guns till they're pried from my cold dead fingers!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
We tried to emigrate to Canada...They told us... in a polite, Canadian manner... that we were too old and that all we'd do is be a burden to their health care system.

Wait till they are told that in an Obamaian way by their Dear Leader.....

50 posted on 07/25/2012 8:12:46 AM PDT by NRA1995 (I'll cling to my religion, cigars and guns till they're pried from my cold dead fingers!)
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To: mikrofon
creating a DU community in RL

Now THAT would be something I could get behind. Would give PJ endless fodder for threads.

51 posted on 07/25/2012 10:12:59 AM PDT by wbill
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To: Charles Henrickson

Not sure what these idiots are complaining about. They already have a MARXIST pResident who is doing EXACTLY what they want.

I hope the chains and ropes are pulled even tighter around their legs and necks. They deserve to have the life sucked out of them.


52 posted on 07/25/2012 6:45:41 PM PDT by unixfox (Abolish Slavery, Repeal The 16th Amendment!)
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To: NRA1995
I am a ceramicist

An out of work "ceramicist"? I am shocked, after all the market for ceramic objet's de arte must be booming somewhere. After all. it's not like art pottery factories are being bought out and closed by Bain Capital and the jobs sent to Chinese "potters".

Of course, a spin-off occupation for a potter would be a mud slinger, seems to be a reasonable transition. Or make decorative ashtrays and stash boxes for the growing medical marijuana field (wait a minute, that is a fairly good idea).

53 posted on 07/26/2012 7:10:48 AM PDT by par4
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