Posted on 06/09/2012 10:51:02 AM PDT by pickrell
{ring}....{ring}....{ring} Glance at clock, 8:23 A.M, Saturday Morning. Reach out from under bedsheet.. "Hello."
"Hello. This is an automated survey from the University of Cincinnati. You will be asked a series of questions on your views abo-"
CLICK. Grrrr. It suddenly occurs to me that the autoringer I bought on a lark from EBAY for 25 bucks plus shipping, is about to find it's first use.
Throw on P.J.'s, pad down to basement desk, fire up computer.
Click Internet Explorer. Click on Google.com. Enter 'University of Cincinnati Board of Regents phone numbers'. ENTER. Ahhhhh. Flip on printer. Print Screen.
Locate and fire up auto dialer. Referring to printout, enter in all 25 phone numbers. Select program message. Flip microphone switch to ON.
"Hello. This is a survey by the general public.
"If you think that University Regents who interrupt the weekend sleep-ins of tired taxpayers who pay your salaries should be slowly, but thoroughly, eviscerated, press 1..."
"If you think that University Regents who interrupt the weekend sleep-ins of tired taxpayers who pay your salaries should have their stipends terminated, press 2..."
"If you think that University Regents who interrupt the weekend sleep-ins of tired taxpayers who pay your salaries should have their homes covertly infested with bedbugs, press 3..."
"If you think that University Regents who interrupt the weekend sleep-ins of tired taxpayers who pay your salaries should have their phone numbers written in crayon on the walls of gay bar restrooms, press 4..."
"If you think that University Regents who interrupt the weekend sleep-ins of tired taxpayers who pay your salaries already wrote their phone numbers in crayon on the walls of gay bar restrooms, press 5..."
"For all other opinions please stay on the line until after the disconnect signal, wait for the eventual 'Phone-Off-Of-The-Hook' tone, and then state your comments..."
Click the Recording-Finished button.
Click the Begin-Autodial Process button.
Walk back upstairs with the satisfaction of a job well done.
Nighty night. Or rather, morningy morning, I suppose.
Well done. Very well done.
LOL. Good job.
Excellent thought but does have a degree of danger when confronting a public ‘Institution’.
Semi-distant family member had a 50 year business near a public university. He had an argument and shouting match with a dean of that university at a local sports field when a university team pre-empted scheduled usage by local kid teams. My family member wrote a letter to the local paper criticising the university’s arrogance. Several weeks later came a certified letter, emminent domain seizure of the buildiing by said university. Two years later this building was an overflow parking lot for university administrators [largely vacant]. The relocation of the business failed and 30 people’s jobs died.
I applaud you!
Good point. And like an idiot, I made the decision long ago to post under my real name! Oh well, I await the slings and arrows...
Thanks for the reply.
Thank you, sirs!
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