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With all the crap flying around in the world today, wouldn't this be a good time for a Joke Thread?
The depths of my evil mind | March 3rd | Me, myself & I

Posted on 03/03/2012 3:29:56 PM PST by pingman

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Enough of Afghanistan, Fluke's birth control pills, Rush's horrid word choice, and liberal panties in a wad news!

Saturday night is for humor, tawdry or not.

1 posted on 03/03/2012 3:30:04 PM PST by pingman
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To: pingman

I knew a woman that was so fridge every time she spread her legs a little light came on


2 posted on 03/03/2012 3:31:59 PM PST by al baby (Hi Mom)
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To: pingman

Lol. But if I ever get married, God forbid that my marriage should turn out like that.... Sad that it is like that for many, though... :-(


3 posted on 03/03/2012 3:33:10 PM PST by DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis
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To: pingman

Do you know why they don’t let the blind skydive

Scares the hell out of the dogs


4 posted on 03/03/2012 3:33:18 PM PST by al baby (Hi Mom)
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To: al baby

Tawdry!


5 posted on 03/03/2012 3:33:33 PM PST by pingman (Durn tootin'; I like Glock shootin'!)
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To: al baby

I can use that one!


6 posted on 03/03/2012 3:34:58 PM PST by pingman (Durn tootin'; I like Glock shootin'!)
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To: pingman
I haven't spoken to my wife in over three months...we're not fighting, I just don't like to interrupt.

The last time I golfed I only hit two good balls all day...and THAT was when I stepped on a rake in the sand trap!

Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac? He stayed awake all night wondering if there really IS a dog.

A baby seal walks into a club...

7 posted on 03/03/2012 3:35:22 PM PST by gorush (History repeats itself because human nature is static)
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To: pingman

Well, I went to the Dr’s the other day and he asked me if I have been thinking about ways to help prevent memory loss because I am almost 50 years old now. I said, “ I don’t know Dr. I can’t remember.”


8 posted on 03/03/2012 3:35:32 PM PST by fabian (" And a new day will dawn for those who stand long, and the forests will echo with laughter")
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To: pingman

Story from a Minnesota State Trooper:

I made a traffic stop on an elderly lady the other day for speeding MN State Highway 210 at Mile Marker 197 just East of McGregor, MN. I asked for her driver’s license, registration, and proof of insurance.

The lady took out the required information and handed it to me. In with the cards I was somewhat surprised (due to her advanced age) to see she had a Conceal Carry Permit. I looked at her and asked if she had a weapon in her possession at this time.

She responded that she indeed had a .45 semi-automatic in her glove box. Something…body language, or the way she said it…made me want to ask if she had any other firearms.

She did admit to also having a 9mm Glock in her center console. Now I had to ask one more time if that was all. She responded once again that she did have just one more, a .38 special in her purse. I then asked her what was she so afraid of.

She looked me right in the eye and said, “Not a f****** thing!”


9 posted on 03/03/2012 3:35:56 PM PST by bigheadfred
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To: pingman

I am all for humor any day of the week but Rush was Right!


10 posted on 03/03/2012 3:37:03 PM PST by Ditter
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To: pingman
Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?

A: A Doberman.

11 posted on 03/03/2012 3:37:51 PM PST by Oberon (Big Brutha Be Watchin'.)
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To: Ditter

His sin was having the temerity to speak the truth.


12 posted on 03/03/2012 3:39:45 PM PST by pingman (Durn tootin'; I like Glock shootin'!)
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To: pingman

Do you know what made Bud Weiser?

His wife came home with Schlitz in her pants.......bodaboom!


13 posted on 03/03/2012 3:40:17 PM PST by basil (It's time to rid the country of "gun free zones" aka "Killing Fields")
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To: Oberon

How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?

One but you have to slice him very thin.


14 posted on 03/03/2012 3:41:02 PM PST by Beowulf9
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To: gorush
A baby seal goes into a bar. The bartender says "What'll you have?"

The seal says "Anything but the Canadian Club."

15 posted on 03/03/2012 3:41:06 PM PST by Oberon (Big Brutha Be Watchin'.)
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To: pingman

Overheard in the honeymoon suite at the local Nursing Home:

“No...I said I had ACUTE ANGINA!”


16 posted on 03/03/2012 3:41:18 PM PST by C. Edmund Wright
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To: pingman

Did you hear about the blond who got an AM radio?

It was a month before she learned she could play it at night!


17 posted on 03/03/2012 3:41:18 PM PST by pingman (Durn tootin'; I like Glock shootin'!)
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To: pingman

18 posted on 03/03/2012 3:41:49 PM PST by DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis
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To: pingman
Oldest and shortest poem

Fleas
Adam had’em

19 posted on 03/03/2012 3:43:33 PM PST by mountainlion (I am voting for Sarah after getting screwed again by the DC Thugs.)
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To: pingman
Beware Darth Kitteh


20 posted on 03/03/2012 3:44:20 PM PST by DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis
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