Posted on 12/22/2011 6:32:34 PM PST by Charles Henrickson
LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! How many times have we heard that over the past 7+ years that we have been monitoring DUmmieland? Many! We have planted plenty of moles in the DUmp to egg the DUmmies on and to expose their nuttiness.
Well, the New DUmmieland ain't puttin' up with it anymore! With characteristic panache and aplomb, Assistant Head DUmmie EarlG, aka DUAC Earl, has rolled out a brand-new Troll Patrol to catch and dispatch the nasty intruders. He's calling it the "MIR Team," the "Malicious Intruder Removal Team." I call it the "MIR Spaced-out Station," in other words, a bunch of Bolsheviks orbiting the DUmp, ready to blast away at any suspicious characters.
Watch out, Pitt! You might be next!
We will check out DUAC Earl's recruitment flyer for the Troll Patrol, i.e., this THREAD, "Be a hero! Join the Malicious Intruder Removal Team today!" as well as this THREAD by DUmmie MineralMan, "Troll-Busting and How to Make it Work and Get the Troll MIRTed."
Of course, the FUnnie thing about all this is that probably half of the sign-ups for the MIR Team are Lousy Freeper Trolls themselves! We're everywhere! We're everywhere!
So let us board the MIR Spaced-out Station and head out on the Troll Patrol, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, whose secret mole identity may or may not be a member of the MIR Team--not sayin'--is in the [brackets]:
Be a hero! Join the Malicious Intruder Removal Team today!
[SSgt. EarlG here, calling for recruits!]
Volunteers who wish to help keep DU running smoothly. . . .
[. . . are dreaming the impossible dream.]
. . . should consider joining the Malicious Intruder Removal Team (MIR Team).
["MIR"--hey, that's catchy! Named after a Soviet space station! Cool!]
The role of MIR Team members is simple: they are empowered to revoke the posting privileges of people who show up at DU with the intent to disrupt.
[Oh, goodie! We get to tombstone people! Think of the power!]
To repeat: the MIR Team is solely empowered to revoke the posting privileges of people who show up at DU with the intent to disrupt.
[To repeat: Oh, goodie! We get to tombstone people!]
just post in this thread to let us know that you'd like to give it a try, and you could be selected by the Admins.
[Do we get to wear uniforms? I'd really like to wear a uniform. Something with braids and epaulets would be nice. Can we get a little medal or ribbon for every troll we tombstone?]
[Look! Here come the volunteers! Now don't all push in at once! Form a single line . . .]
Me!!! Me!!! (Raises hand!) Please.
[Settle down! Settle down! Everyone will get a chance!]
I want to crush our enemies, see them driven before us, and hear the lamentations of the Freepers!
[I wanna kill . . . kill . . . KILL!!]
I'm on board for MIR Duty
[Cosmonaut Renew Deal, reporting for DUty!]
I am interested. But I'm here at odd times. . . .
[EVERY time in DUmmieland is an odd time.]
Jury duty was fun. . . .
[Boy, New DUmmieland now has stormtroopers everywhere! "Juries," "hosts," "MIR Team". . . . Everybody gets to wear a uniform!]
Yes - I'd love to be on the troll patrol. . . .
[THANK YOU, DUmmie TBF, for coming up with that witty and apt description. A tip o' the hat to you! . . . Say, you're not a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL, perchance?]
MIR is Russian for "world" and "peace". Sounds good to me.
[Anything Soviet is good.]
I am onboard, EarlG
[How should we set our phasers, Captain?]
reporting for duty sir.
[Let's go kick some Malicious Intruder @ss.]
I would like to be a member of this secret alliance. . . .
[The eagle flies at dawn.]
Me!
[MI! Buh bye, troll. You seem a little over-eager.]
I hate trolls. so does that make me a good candidate?
[Good approach, DUmmie OKNancy. Low-key, subdued. No one will ever suspect that you yourself are a DU mole.]
I would like to serve a term on the MIR team.
[Off you go! Good luck, comrade!]
I am soooooo farking ready to serve in this capacity.....My last donation was from someone else, but I believe all previous donations were mine alone....
[Nope! Sorry! Not good enough! A little too eager, plus, you didn't pay. Next!]
In!
[Out! I don't like the look of your name--"Robb." And your avatar--a bunny? I mean, really?]
I'm game. . . .
[You're gamey. But then, so is everybody else in here. Welcome aboard!]
I find a certain joy in seeing some MIs removed *slowly*.
[And you're the people who objected to waterboarding at Gitmo??]
Speaking of intruders, will our Ignore lists be imported? Mine is very large. . . .
[Braggart.]
anything to keep the civility of this new board. . . .
[BWAHAHAHAHA!!!]
You can try me in your rotation. Blessings.
[Oops! Religious language! You just gave yourself away, troll! . . . Fire away, boys!]
I'm good at Whack a troll. . . .
[You're just plain wacky.]
Count me in, EarlG
[That from cbayer, the "Locking" King (Queen?) of DU2.]
If you still need some help, I'd be glad to give it a try.
[Oh, nicely done, DUmmie Terra Alta! Understated. Not too eager. Good work.]
[And now for some troll-busting tips from DUmmie MineralMan, who of course is himself a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! You can even still send MineralMan messages care of his FR screen name! MineralMan is one of our BEST DU moles, and Skinner and EarlG are too DUmb to spot him!]
Troll-Busting and How to Make it Work and Get the Troll MIRTed.
[Brilliant, MineralMan, brilliant! You have infiltrated the MIR Team! Excellent!]
With DU3 being new and all, there are quite a few trolls who are experimenting with the site.
[Not like you, MineralMan! You're an old hand at being a mole!]
Here's how I got it [a thread] hidden, locked, and the poster MIRTed (I just made that up right now).
1. I read the thread and recognized the original post as trollery.
2. I read down the thread and noticed that others had the same suspicion.
3. I alerted on the OP, choosing the Community Standards option.
4. I selected the TOS Violation option.
5. I wrote a comment that said, "This poster appears to be a low post count troll. The post is disruptive. If you vote to Hide the post, it will be sent to the MIR Team." or words to that effect.
6. Shortly, the post was hidden, the thread was locked, and the OP was MIRTed.
[Good advice from a HIGH post count troll, our own MineralMan!]
I just thought I'd share this. It worked great.
[Yes, it works great at deflecting attention away from YOU, MM! Nicely done.]
in order to get to the MIRTeam a post has to be hidden by a jury first. If it's not hidden it goes to admin. . . .
It must pass through jury first If jury votes to hide it goes to MIR team. If they vote to keep, admins get it. BUT... ToS violation must be checked.
[Come on, people! It's all there in your MIRT Handbook: Page 57, Subsection F-13, Paragraph 3. Let's do our homework, people.]
I don't think a lot of DUers understand the process. There have been a number of OPs by trolls that have remained after the troll was MIRTed, and there's no way to deal with those, since Hosts can't lock threads except when they violate the forum's SOP. This way, the OP gets hidden, if the jury agrees, and the whole shebang goes to the MIRT for their action.
[It's as clear as mud!]
Frankly, I wouldn't ever use this particular strategy on any long-time DUer. That would be insulting. It's only really appropriate for low post count disruptors. . . . I know that long-time DUers are treated differently than low post count trolls, and that's how it should be.
[Good move, MineralMan, you long-time, high-post-count mole you!]
Being a troll is a direct violation of the TOS.
[And yet, so many of us get away with it! Hee! Hee!]
It's also very important to note that many that go to MIR Team can and are referred to admins also. . . . So, just because it goes to MIR doesn't mean MIR will make the decision.
[That's a MIR technicality.]
Wait, is pointing out the President's shortcomings a bannable offense now?
["Shortcomings"?? Are you suggesting that our President has "shortcomings"?? . . . Did you hear that, MIR Team? Ready . . . aim . . . FIRE!!]
Not even calling Barack Obana a con artist is a violation of TOS. . . .
[ZAP!]
If a 'troll' is posting things that are ok, are they a troll?
[If a troll falls in a forum, and there's no one around to MIR it. . . .]
The MIRT only looks at one specific kind of TOS violation: people who are posting crap repeatedly.
[Well now, that would eliminate just about everyone in DUmmieland, wouldn't it?]
The paradigm shift is bringing out the authoriatrians. I fear if we continue down this path we will have. . . .
[QUIET! GET THAT MAN'S NAME!]
IndianaGreen is NOT a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! Got that Skinner?
What happened to the DUmmie Journals? Has that been eliminated in DU3? If so, it is a tragic blow to the Pittster.
I carry a crucifix and wooden stake whenever I venture over there.
These admin moderators over at DUMMYLAND remind me of THOSE guys. They are always making up NEW rules for the role playing dummies to follow. New assignments. New missions. New games.
Dummyland is like a lefty blog version of Dungeons and Dragons and the admin-mods are the dungeon masters.
Ya think?
Oh, you can still get to a person's journal, it's just not as easy as before, and I don't think the most popular journals are listed in one place like they were before.
When you see a post by a certain DUmmie, you put your cursor to the right of their name and an arrow appears. Then you can find the link to that person's journal.
However, I am leaving in sort of a blaze of glory since I did the ultimate DUFU of them all with this STORY DUFUing the Bamster himself. It has gone viral and I notice that a campaign ad has even been produced incorporating the humor I presented on this. Oh, and Mark Steyn talked about this today. Check Google to see just how viral it has become.
I want to crush our enemies, see them driven before us, and hear the lamentations ....Then join the Marines and become a human killing machine. /s
Yes - I'd love to be on the troll patrol. . . .Great. Thanks for volunteering, you can 'Walk Point'
I would like to be a member of this secret alliance. . . .Sorry, Seal Team Six has no openings. And the Army's Special Forces require a rank of E5 and above, that you're Airborne Qualified (aka: passed Jump School), and have an MOS which is not, 'Building Forts from Pizza Boxes'.
Oh. And you can't wear women's underwear.
......................... 
Ugh! Please don’t insult D&D aficionados like that. I’ve never met a D&D player who would have put up with Will Pitt. Or cheer on a President who appointed a pedophile to be the safe schools czar. And Lord knows most D&D players are smart enough to know how many states there are and how to pronounce corpsman!
Wow! I just mailed you Charles! I was asking for a Dufu fix. Soon as went back to browse, there it was!
Talk about costumer service.
Talk about costumer service.
OK, now I really feel stupid. I backed out to previous post and thought this had just popped.
I'm getting a cup of coffee.
I know, I know. I've just been very busy the last week and a half with my work. It might be another day or two before I can do a DUFU. I'm thinking Thursday, perhaps. Maybe PJ can get one in soon, too.
Maybe tonight. I’m not feeling exhausted from my trip any longer.
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