Posted on 10/12/2011 9:05:58 AM PDT by Kaslin
7) The Fan Boys.
I have no idea why some guys think they can show up on Facebook, find some attractive woman they’ve never met, talk about how pretty she is in every photo, compliment her excessively, and somehow turn that into a relationship. Does this work for anyone, ever? You never hear any woman say, “Oh, I met my boyfriend on Facebook! He just showed up every day, kissed my ass relentlessly, and then of course, it all ended in hot monkey sex!” What you do hear, however, are attractive women privately referring to people like that as “creepers,” as in, “That creeper creeps me out!”
6) I Just Tweeted To Say I Hate You.
It’s no shocker that people don’t see eye to eye, but it’s hard to understand why they would follow someone on Twitter who they vehemently disagree with on every issue just so they can show up over and over again to note their disagreement until they’re blocked. They’re like a cuckoo clock that pops out every hour to scream, “I just had to let you know you’re so wrong!” What in the world is that supposed to accomplish other than briefly annoying another human being?
5) Hey, Stranger, Can You Buy A Plane Ticket To Get To My Meeting?
If you’re having a Tea Party in Pig Lick, Arkansas, or you’re going to be in a play in Snooty Junction, Illinois, and you want to invite your Facebook friends, that’s fine. But how about taking 5 minutes to group all of your local friends into one list so you’re not needlessly bothering people you barely know who live 1500 miles away?
4) The G+ Smug Crowd.
Was there really a huge group of people out there saying, “Wow, we already have Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Myspace, but what we need is ANOTHER social network” before G+ hit the scene? Of course not. Honestly, I was hoping G+ would fail miserably, not just because Google is already an obnoxious monopoly that spies on you in your virtual underwear to get more info to sell, but because I didn’t want to spend time on yet ANOTHER social network.
And what’s so great about G+ anyway? Hangouts that almost no one uses? Freaking circles? Facebook has that feature, too, and no one seems to touch it. Yet from the moment G+ beta went live, my stream has been deluged with cartoons and comments about how much better we are than the poor schmucks who are still just on Facebook. Seriously? C’mon, G+ is just a classier version of Myspace; so get over yourselves!
3) I AM TALKING IN ALL CAPS!
ARE YOU PAYING MORE ATTENTION TO THIS BECAUSE IT’S IN ALL CAPS OR THINKING, “THIS IS REALLY FREAKING ANNOYING!”? I’M GUESSING THE LATTER BECAUSE TYPING IN ALL CAPS IS LIKE SHOUTING. STOP SHOUTING AT ALL OF US, JERKFACE!
2) Click “Like” On My Mental Breakdown:
This is where I earn the heartless Larry David moniker for saying something most other people think, but don’t want to say. Oh well. Let’s just get it out there.
It’s really strange to see people sharing their most intimate feelings on a social network with people they don’t “know” in any meaningful sense.
This is not just because social networks are famously overrun with nasty tempered trolls — poor creatures whose sole purpose in life is to try and fill the emptiness in their souls by mocking other human beings’ pain — but because it’s just inappropriate. It’s bizarre to tell hundreds of people whose only interactions with you have been giving you a thumbs up when you say “I love the troops” that you’re feeling soul-crushing depression or having a mental breakdown. Granted, when you’re not close to a lot of people and you’re feeling awful the thought process may be “any port in a storm.” If you’re in that situation and want to deal with it online, how about hitting up a counselor on LivePerson who can give you some REAL help or alternately even talking to some people who at least know you a little bit privately so you may be able to deepen your relationship by letting them give you a shoulder to cry on?
1) Facebook “Groupers”:
Hello, this is Facebook writing to alert you that you’ve been added to a group, “Stupid Group You’d Have Never Joined For Any Reason.” You were added by your Facebook friend, “person that you don’t even recognize.” You may also notice that you have 56 notifications. That’s because he not only put you in this group without asking; he made sure you were alerted every time someone said something on the page like, “How did I get in this group?” or “Who put me in this group?” or “Why am I in this stupid group?” Yes, we at Facebook don’t think this is obnoxious behavior. So we don’t even give you a setting to prevent people from adding you to groups without your permission. Ehr..what? Would leaving the group and unfriending the person work? Well, yes, but…that seems like an extreme step and…oh, you did it. Too bad. He was just creating another group, “Click Like If You Hate Stupid Facebook Groups,” that you could have gotten in on.
just a hunch, but you will probably get pinged to this thread a dozen times at least.
I used FB and thought what a great idea, I got in touch with a lot of old pals I served with and some who are still serving , however I had friend requests from their wives etc, said yes to them and then I got so fed up of reading what someone is thinking to eat for dinner, of if they should wash their car, or where they are going for their vacation that I rarely even use it now.
I’m not on Facebook, so I don’t have this problem.
I’ve unfriended a BUNCH of people for #1.
Let me add:
#8 The person who is on Facebook ALL DAY LONG. Your news feed is cluttered with random comments, links, photos, YouTube videos, etc., and you suddenly realize that roughly 50% of it was posted by ONE PERSON, who seems to have nothing better to do with their life than to constantly post on Facebook.
Yeah, you have to manage your friends list on Facebook. If they get carried away with stupid posts, they need to be unfriended. I’m thinking of unfriending my mom because I get barraged with stupid Farmville requests from her.
And the other great question is- should you keep ex-girlfriends as friends so you can post photos of you with your new girlfriend so they can see that? :)
This!
They do have a filter so you can only see important updates from people. Still it is all too much.
I find myself looking at facebook less and less these days.
got rid of a load of them and then got pals asking why I was not having their wife on the list.
I’m actually in the process of getting a bunch of old military pals e-mails/skype and then deleting FB .
I’ve virtually stopped and if you see my post above if you have time then it will explain why and what I’m doing now.
FB was a great invention for getting in touch with old pals, military old pals etc but it then turned into a platform of no marks thinking everyone is interested in their daily life, what to wear, when to wash car, what to eat, where to go to dinner etc.
ARF
I am on FB, but most the time I just look and read
I signed up on Facebook to hunt down an old girlfriend.
Fail. She wouldn’t talk to me.
After that, I questioned it’s usefulness.
LOL.
She can’t handle your charm.
I just ignore the requests
Amen. FB is mostly just a bunch of people with no life loudly proclaiming that fact to the rest of us who just don’t care.
I got rid of Facebook about three weeks ago. It’s pretty liberating. I came to realize that I just don’t care what other people are up to anymore.
The worst ones are those who spew their liberal opinions, assuming that, of course, everyone will agree with them. It never seems to occur to them that they might offend somebody, or that some people log on to Facebook for fun and relaxation, not to hear bigoted political rants. I had one Facebook “friend” who did that, so I un-friended her. But she and I still have Facebook friends in common, so I am still subjected to her “Evil Republicans!!” rants on other people’s threads.
It really is true what they say. Liberalism is a mental disorder.
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