Posted on 10/19/2010 11:18:07 AM PDT by PJ-Comix
It is now exactly two weeks until Election Day. The DUmmies are obviously feeling a lot of tension. The big question for them is "Do I have what it takes to be featured in the DUmmie FUnnies?" Yes, there is certain to be a lot of competition to make it into the DUFUs so I understand their worries. Even though I expect MANY DUFU editions on Election Day and in the days that follow, there will also be many juicy DUmmie threads full of comedy nuggets to choose from. Since I have a certain fondness for the critters in my DUmmie Ant Farm so I am here to give them helpful tips on how to successfully audition for a spot in the DUmmie FUnnies so here goes in no particular order:
1. Drama Queen Antics: The more the Drama Queen melodrama you project, the better your chances of making it into the DUFU selection process. Let the 2004 stand up and melodramatically announce your names to the world stand out as a great example of what you can achieve in the Drama Queen category.
2. Cry voter machine fraud: Yes, even though this charge seemed to have faded away in 2006 and 2008 when the Democrats won big, it is sure to be resurrected if the Republicans gain ground. Since there will be many such charges, please be very creative in how you cry fowl.
3. Attack Obama: Yes, I know you have been holding in your disgust with The One for fear of being Tombstoned by Skinner but I have a feeling the dam will break on election night. The upside is that so many DUmmies will be attacking how Obama is destroying the Democrats that the numbers will simply overwhelm Skinner unless he wants to ban 90% of DUmmieland.
4. Retreat to Mysticism: Demoralized DUmmies retreating to mysticism for comfort is a great way to make the DUFU cut. I am really fond of alternate universes in which America decides to go socialist. Finding solace in the wisdom of the Hopi Elders is another great way to make it into the DUFUs. Oh, and finding hope in astrology is also quite entertaining especially if the moon enters Uranus.
5. William Rivers Pitt gives his two bits: Pied Piper Pitt playing pundit is always great for laughs. How well I remember his many promises of an election reversal in 2004 because of unknown legal papers filed in obscure Ohio courtrooms. That was Pitt playing his classic "insider in the know" game.
6. Blame Karl Rove: Rovian conspiracy theories about fixing the election always goes to the top of any DUFU audition list.
7. Stop the World, I Wanna Get Off: This final tip is probably the easiest way to get inducted in the DUFUs. Just declare that you completely give up on this country in particular and life in general. Screech about planning to leave this country or even taking the Heaven's Gate solution.
I hope you DUmmies have found these tips helpful. Study them carefully and you will definitely have an edge on your fellow DUmmies. Good luck on making it into the DUFUs on Election Day and/or in the days that follow!
Even if DUmmieland goes offline like they did in 2002, KOmmieland will be a gold mine of comedy nuggets.
I’m betting on #2.
In two senses ...
I am going to add to the list of DUmmies temper tantrums that will deserve DUmmies funnies recognition.
1. Barack Obama wasn’t Marxist enough. Put simply, he didn’t completely nationalize the entire economy instead of JUST the banking system, health care and the auto industry.
2. He didn’t give illegals amnesty and the right to vote, so he pissed off the Latino vote tantrum.
3. Everything is the fault of the Citizens United decision and the corporations bought the election tantrum.
4. Americans are too stupid and too uneducated, so they vote against their own interests tantrum.
5. The mainstream media is in the hands of corporate capitalists and didn’t propagate for Barack Obama and the Democrats enough.
6. Americans are racist against the first Black president.
7. The stimulus was not large enough and deficits are not big enough to pump the economy.
Be prepared for problems here at FR that night as well. Site is slow due to server issues lately. Plus throw in a DNS attack from our friends on the left for good measure.....
And so it begins.
BWAHAHAHAHA !!!!!
I hope my laptop gets fixed in time. I don’t want to miss one boo hoo !
That is always on the DUmmies minds. I remember that "Investigate all 88" picture from Ohio in 2004.
I certainly hope there are several nervous breakdowns over there in the nutbar lefty universe. I have popcorn, adult beverages, a couple of good cigars and *hope*....
If they do go off the deep end, I just hope they will keep it amusing.
Keep ‘em coming, PJ. This is going to be such a fun November!
In addition to being entertained by the DUmmies and KOmmies am going to DVR both MSNBC and CNN for the entire election evening. The on-air meltdowns of (Special rant) Olbermann, (Touch my leg) Matthews, Mr. Maddow, Fat Ed, Wolfie, Carville, Andrea Mitchell, Chuckie Todd and others is going to be a pure joy to watch.
The Schadenfreude (along with the popcorn and beer) is going to be delicious.
In the years I've been reading and loving DUmmie FUnnies I've noticed that DU really is the Mecca for drama queens. They're all basically just part of an audience for each other's self-aggrandizing rants about "I, I, I!" and how much they want to kill evil racists. When you go there the page should play syrupy string music.
You fogot a “medications to escape” thread. That’s always good for a DUFU.
“Buy her a Tom Tom, and alleviate all of your stress. There must be a coupon somewhere for that!”
TigerDirect just sent me an email with a TomTom for $90 using an instant coupon.
She wants a car with GPS system. Do they have double coupons for cars?
I can’t wait for the Diebold excuses from DU.
FNC had Bev Harris on last Sunday morning. She still thinks elections will be stolen.
Mel
Bev Harris is just $10 away from moving into another 5 star hotel suite.
I'll be in my usual perch, watching the primitives on Skins's island from a boat offshore, but of course I have no intention of omitting to read P-J Comix's and Charles Henrickson's most remarkable analyses, some of the best stuff on the whole internet.
One hopes somebody’s working on an “Empire Strikes Back” photoshop job. And some musical lyrics, too.
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