Posted on 10/06/2010 7:26:09 PM PDT by The Looking Spoon
So iOwnTheWorld ran a contest of who could come up with the best one-liners about liberals that could go into a roast. The top 20 picks were selected.
Check out the original post here for the full list. I had to remove the ones that were a little too R-rated (which was practically half of them) to post at Free Republic. Below are my submissions to their contest:
When Pelosi goes to Disneyland does everyone ask her why she hates dalmatians?
Barack bashes Bush so much he should date Barney Frank
Is it just me or would Biden sound a lot smarter if we surgically fused his mouth to a kazoo?
Isn't it time to change the term "bald faced lies" to "telling a load of Carville's?"
Hey Barack, Halloween is coming up, why don't you dress up as something cool, like, a REAL president
Joy Behar is so unladylike she’s practically Barney Frank’s type
Harry Reid thinks unemployment leads to spousal abuse, but that wont happen to him because his wife will show mercy
I swear, if John Edwards fathers any more bastard kids we'll have to start calling him "Johnny Crappleseed."
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Check out the HUNDREDS of other submissions here...below are some of my favorites (some of them I expect to be among the 20 winners):
Worst day of my life, I was down at the beach with the Obamas. Michelle was walking away and I accidentally accused her of sitting on my bag of milk duds.
I’d rather be a Conservative nut job, than a liberal with no nuts and no job.
Progressives are such an accident, they needed their own insurance company.
What do you get when you offer Biden a penny for his thoughts? Change back.
AIDS, Herpes, gonorrhea, Obamacare, which word doesn’t belong?
Obama is so clueless. Walter Mondale had to tell him he was an idiot.
I heard Nancy Pelosi was recently brought into the hospital for horrendous pain in her urinary tract. When asked by the doctor why she refused any medical tests she replied, “I want to pass it before I see what it is.”
Anyone hear about Vice-President Joe Biden’s suicide attempt? Apparently he sat in an enclosed garage with the motor of his Chevy Volt running.
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Check out the winners at Moonbattery.
Answer:
Gonorrhea, there’s is a way to get rid of it.
The Looking Spoon is a conservative humor/satire/art/commentary blog, visit www.thelookingspoon.com to see more posts and art
I have to say, regarding the top 20... not very funny.
I was thinking the same thing....
It’s like reading a list of Nazi roasts. “Hans was down at the concentration camp and when he had to go on duty, he grabbed a cattle prod instead of his baton! - hawr hawr hawr.” These people are so mentally ill, they’ve completely lost sight of any normalcy. Every word out of their mouths, every act they make, is a horror.
Pelosi and the dalmations was good. Other than that, agree.
I loved them. The two on Pelosi were the best.
The second one on Pelosi was good too:
I heard Nancy Pelosi was recently brought into the hospital for horrendous pain in her urinary tract. When asked by the doctor why she refused any medical tests she replied, “I want to pass it before I see what it is.”
I completely disagree with your attempted equivocation.
My favorite: ginger: They say Joe Biden is going to step down to let Hillary Clinton run on the ticket with Obama in 2012. I call that a last b###h effort.
LOL, I like that one too :-)
bfl
?
Regards,
TS
I like that one!
>>Anyone hear about Vice-President Joe Biden’s suicide attempt? Apparently he sat in an enclosed garage with the motor of his Chevy Volt running.<<
Now, THAT is funny. Sad part is, it is probably true.
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