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Senator Says Fire Shows Need to Ban Oil Drilling
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 4 Sep 2010 | John Semmens

Posted on 09/05/2010 4:36:33 PM PDT by John Semmens

The fire at a Mariner Energy Inc. oil platform in the Gulf of Mexico has spurred calls for even stricter controls over who might be allowed to drill where for oil. This particular well is too shallow to have been covered by President Obama’s moratorium on deep water drilling.

Both the fire and the fact that the well fell outside the President’s ban was a matter of “grave concern” to Senator Frank Lautenberg (D-NJ).”If nothing else, this disaster is further proof that oil drilling is an inherently dangerous practice one that we must stop,” Lautenberg said.

“Most people don’t realize that our cars are powered by mini-explosions of gasoline in the vehicles’ engines,” Lautenberg said. “This strikes me as an unnecessarily dangerous way to get around. The sooner we can get everyone onto electric, wind or solar-powered vehicles the safer we’ll all be. Maybe banning all further drilling for oil is the best way to achieve this.”

Lautenberg said he would also consider levying a tax on vehicles that use petroleum-based fuels in order to subsidize the production of alternatively powered ones. “Right now electric vehicles are out-performed by gasoline-powered ones,” he observed. “But if drivers had to pay a hefty tax for this higher performance they might be more willing to put up with the inferior capabilities of an all-electric vehicle. Of course, in an ideal world if everyone took public transportation the poor performance of electric power wouldn’t be so obvious.”

In related news, the Obama Administration announced a new federal “grading system” for cars. The idea is to encourage alternatives to gasoline-powered vehicles. Cars running on gasoline will receive a grade of “D.” Vehicles powered by electricity, wind, solar, or foot-pedals would receive grades from “C” to “A” depending upon how impractical they are.

(Excerpt) Read more at azconserv1.wordpress.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Humor; Travel
KEYWORDS: autos; drilling; energy; satire
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To: ScottinVA

What does he use for transportation?


21 posted on 09/05/2010 5:43:22 PM PDT by Quickgun (As a former fetus, I'm opposed to abortion. Mamas don't let your cowboys grow up to be babies..)
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To: John Semmens

It’s getting harder and harder to separate satire from the rantings coming out of Washington these days. This regime is one long bad joke.


22 posted on 09/05/2010 6:08:41 PM PDT by YankeeReb
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To: John Semmens

what a dick


23 posted on 09/05/2010 7:10:58 PM PDT by 1st Division guy
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