Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Pork Plant Opens Next to Mosque Next to Ground Zero [satire]
Rancor News ^ | August 6th, 2010 | Tyson Bam

Posted on 08/25/2010 8:02:38 AM PDT by tysonbam

Bumble Bee Ham is opening a processing plant and deli in New York just two blocks away from Ground Zero next to a new mosque. The new location will process ham to be shipped out to Bumble Bee Hams across the country and launch a new high end deli on the ground level called "Bacon." The feature item is a bacon burger made from ground bacon, topped with bacon served open faced on a bacon croissant with bacon ranch and a side of bacon sticks. This has set off a firestorm between many Americans and Muslims against so-called "bacon extremists."

Critics claim that Bumble Bee Ham is being insensitive to Muslim feelings and seeking to inflame Muslim sensibilities. Supporters swear they only wish to promote a new peaceful dialogue in Muslim/Pork relations. Imam Faisal Abdul Rauf, the founder of the mosque was reported in the New Pork Times saying, "Most New Yorkers find the placement of Bumble Bee Ham offensive. New York is a big city. Why can't they just build somewhere else? If they really care about healing delicate wounds between Muslims and Pork they wouldn't build in a location where most New Yorkers disapprove."

A spokesman for Bumble Bee Ham responded in the New York Pork declaring, "We have no desire to inflame or insult New Yorkers by inflaming and insulting them. America stands for freedom and we fully believe in that right. Freedom doesn't include a right to decency or good taste.

We here at Rancor News fully believe in everyone's right to freedom, however, we do not approve of people using their freedom to be dicks. You don't build new peaceful relations by kicking someone in the crotch. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. We will stand by Bumble Bee Ham's freedom to operate where they choose and our freedom to call them insensitive, inflammatory, attention whoring, opportunistic pricks.

Tyson Bam August 6th, 2010


Image and video hosting by TinyPic


TOPICS: Government; Politics; Religion; Society
KEYWORDS: bumble; groundzero; mosque; pork

1 posted on 08/25/2010 8:02:40 AM PDT by tysonbam
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: tysonbam

Ahhh the call to prayer with the smell of bacon in the air....


2 posted on 08/25/2010 8:04:56 AM PDT by Cheryllynn
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: tysonbam

If the mosque happens, I’d invest in any company that would turn this satire into reality.


3 posted on 08/25/2010 8:06:35 AM PDT by Keith in Iowa (Iowa floods, Obama vacations. Moochelle Obama, please pass the cake.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: tysonbam
In front of every mosque....
4 posted on 08/25/2010 8:06:43 AM PDT by AngelesCrestHighway
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: tysonbam

Things to build next to mosques:

1. Gay bars

2. Jewish synagogues

3. Planned parenthood/abortion clinics

4. Jewish delicatessans

5. Slaughterhouses

6. Anger management clinics

7. Drug rehab clinics

8. Medical marijuana stores

9. Strip joints


5 posted on 08/25/2010 8:13:00 AM PDT by Ev Reeman
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: tysonbam
How inconsiderate (heh...heh.. heh).
6 posted on 08/25/2010 8:13:49 AM PDT by Huskrrrr
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: tysonbam
The feature item is a bacon burger made from ground bacon, topped with bacon served open faced on a bacon croissant with bacon ranch and a side of bacon sticks.

and i thought my ground bacon, chipotle, provolone burgers were good..
7 posted on 08/25/2010 8:23:55 AM PDT by absolootezer0 (2x divorced, tattooed, pierced, harley hatin, meghan mccain luvin', smoker and pit bull owner..what?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ev Reeman

Park a hot dog vendor stand on the sidewalk on either side of the building, then put the garbage cans right in front of the building. Something tells me that they would have a booming business...


8 posted on 08/25/2010 8:29:49 AM PDT by shotgun
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: tysonbam

Not a bad idea. A ham store on one side, a gay bar on the other, and a shop that sells vulgar lingerie across the street.


9 posted on 08/25/2010 8:39:42 AM PDT by McGavin999 (I'm sorry, your race card is overdrawn and no further charges can be accepted)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: shotgun

Zweigle's white "porkers".

10 posted on 08/25/2010 8:42:31 AM PDT by BerryDingle (I know how to deal with communists, I still wear their scars on my back from Hollywood-Ronald Reagan)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Ev Reeman

Don’t forget rolling hotdog stands operating in front of the building.


11 posted on 08/25/2010 10:20:08 AM PDT by Always Independent
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson