Posted on 08/09/2010 4:09:59 PM PDT by writer33
Changing Their Image
Pulaski, TN—In what can only be described as an image change, the very first solar-assisted charging station was opened in Pulaski, Tennessee, the original home of the Ku Klux Klan. The charging station is reportedly a 20-kilowatt solar ray that will produce over $500 of electricity a month, and according to Imperial Wizard Jay Byrd, “the move to electric cars will drastically improve the image of the Ku Klux Klan.”
“We’ve had such an ugly image since 1866,” stated Byrd, “but this move to purchase electric cars will certainly change things. We’re all about progress here at the KKK. We want Americans to know that we’re willin’ to exhibit a little forward thinkin’, and willin’ to be cuttin’-edge when it comes to Mother Earth. After all, you can’t have a lynching when the planet is teeterin’ on destruction. It’s the smart move.”
With the charging station in Pulaski, it’s only a matter of time before these stations will open all across the South, giving the Klan a much more economical way of travel. “The solar-assisted charging station helps the planet and it helps us save money,” noted Grand Dragon Ron Duke. “When you’ve got to drive 50 miles one way to run off some Jews, an electric car makes you feel so much less guilty than driving a gas hog.”
Support For The KKK Grows
Since the charging station’s installation, the KKK has been buying up electric cars like hot cakes. The move has drawn dramatic support by environmental groups of every race, creed, color and stripe across America. Even some media figures have decided to attach their support to a long-hated organization.
“I used to look at the KKK with utter disdain,” admitted an amazed Katie Couric. “But now, I have to sit back and give them a round of applause. The organization has made such a dramatic leap to improve its image. You have to appreciate that.”
“I am so damn proud of the KKK,” announced columnist for Greenpeace Rex Wyler. “I’m willing to overlook 150 years of domestic terrorism. They must have big hearts for this fragile planet. It really means more than I can say. I think I’m going to cry.”
Even former Vice President Al Gore decided to throw his support into the KKK’s corner. “This is truly historic,” claimed Gore. “To have the KKK fully on board with the environment is astonishing to say the least. It goes to show that the organization has heeded the warnings, and have proven to go green faster than my towel dropping at a message therapist’s office.”
The Future Of The Green KKK
As the organization rolls on with the purchase of electric cars, efforts have also been ramped up to include solar panels on houses and other things. Tennesseans can expect to see a more determined effort by the KKK as their process to change their image continues.
Imperial Wizard Jay Byrd appreciates his environment and he wants all Americans to appreciate it as well, saying, “We’re not just stoppin’ with electric cars. We’re changin’ our light bulbs, houses…we’re changin’ everything. This is about our organization’s ability to conduct our business in a much more environmentally friendly way. Hell, next week we’re gonna have a ‘Hate A Minority/Save The Planet Carnival.’ Everyone’s invited to attend. Well, everyone except the darkies, kikes and Tea Partiers. It’s gonna be fun for all. It’s all about the future! And the KKK is here to say, ‘Yes…we can!’”
Concept and contributions by BOT.
Satire ping!
This must be from “The Onion.”
Nope. Different seating section. Same ballpark.
Does West Virginia have one yet?
The charger will only work with WHITE cars, though. Shocking!
KKK wanting to use those silent cars to sneak up on individuals.
Interesting, that is something I hadn’t thought of.
And they can always put up the sheets to move the car with wind power. They can even do it on the Robert C Byrd Memorial Freeway.
” Imperial Wizard Jay Byrd appreciates his environment “
LOL!
:-)
Satire ping!
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