Caregiver Grief

TheCypressTimes.com ^ | 06/24/2010 | Candy Arrington

[Patriot1259]

"When will this misery be over?"

My mother uttered these words on a day when the aches and pains of old age were especially intense. Mentally I knew the answer,but I said, "I'm sorry you're uncomfortable."

As I prepared to go, my mother said, "Don't leave me," so I sat and waited until she nodded off before exiting the room. Alone in my car, the tears slid down my face, and I realized that even though my mother is still alive, I'm already grieving her death.

Caregiver grief is a complicated puzzle of sorrow, guilt, and longing for the day when you can move forward with your life, no longer bound in a state of limbo to the next health crisis or cognitive issue.

Caregiver grief differs from the grief of someone who has had a sudden loss in that the caregiving process involves anticipatory grief. A caregiver watches her loved one lose abilities and vital life functions. When Dad can no longer walk unaided, grieving occurs for the little girl who no longer sees her big strong daddy standing beside her, ready to catch her if she falls. Those grief moments come weeks, months, or even years before death occurs. In some ways, it makes the actual death easier; in other ways, harder. The ease comes when the caregiver realizes the loved one was ready to leave the body that no longer supported the vital spirit within....

[nmh]

Thank you for the thoughtful post.

This is a difficult chapter in life to deal with.

[JPG]

It’s all part of the plan. The Author knows best.

[MEGoody]

This is a complicated set of emotions. There is sorrow that someone you love is suffering, and there is a grieving for the person that used to be but is no more due to aging or health issues.

[stuartcr]

Knowing the Author knows best, does nothing for the pain.