Posted on 06/09/2010 5:20:50 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
If you're like us, the first impulse you had after seeing your first oil-soaked seagull was to rip off your clothes and hop on a bike. This Saturday, you can do just that in the company of strangers at the Miami World Naked Bike Ride to protest our nation's dependence on that gooey, wildlife-killing, black gold.
OK, so the organizers put an asterisk next to the word nudity, encouraging imaginative costumes and well-placed body paint. In other words, bare as much as you dare.
World Naked Bike Ride is an international movement, practiced in cities like Vancouver, British Columbia and Auckland, Australia, with the following mission: "We face automobile traffic with our naked bodies as the best way of defending our dignity and exposing the unique dangers faced by cyclists and pedestrians as well as the negative consequences we all face due to dependence on oil, and other forms of non-renewable energy."
Will Miamians have the balls to bare all like these international cities? And will all the exposed balls stop the tar balls from flowing this way? Probably not, but our only other idea is to stop up the leak with Sarah Palin's giant bouffant.
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The first ever Miami World Naked Bike Ride happens this Saturday at the sun-friendly time of 4:30 p.m. The ride starts outside a Miami BP gas station at Biscayne and 10th Street, then heads to South Beach via the Venetian Causeway.
“So...how exactly is riding a bicycle nekkid going to stop the oil leak?”
Well, you know how the A-10 Warthog is so ugly that it is repelled by the ground rather than it flying?
Well, a similar principle applies here.
The sight of so many pasty flabby flappies will compel the planet to stop seeping oil into the environment out of shock and fear.
I'm looking forward to their next stunt when the "naked" caper fails to work. :)
OR, maybe you just attract the "talk dirty to me" types.
My eyes! My eyes! I cannot unsee what I have seen - damn you, R2!
Throw Ann Richards' stinking corpse into the Gulf.
Seems only right that a Hippie Politics/Sex Ads New Times free alternative weekly would suggest this.
They don't want to admit to leakage.
They are liberlas first, and "protesters" second.
This bike ride has been planned since March if not earlier.
It is an annual event.
They are hijacking newsprint with claims that it is "to protest the oil spill".
Commies suck.
If they are hippies, then I hope they don’t get in the water.
Talk about polution!
Hippies getting an oil bath would at least kill off their crabs.
Honey, I’m an old lady and don’t attract much of anybody anymore. Shouldn’t even be on a naked thread. [leaves thread]
There may be something to that theory - I’m certainly feeling a strong repulsion away from this event.
“If everyone jumps off a building, eventually it wouldn’t hurt anymore!” -seen on a card, reminds me of the libs.
It’s like those “Hike Naked” nature walks.
You’ll note that wildlife stays away from the area.
It’s instinct. “Stay away from the Crazy Things, lest you catch their madness.”
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