Properly translated:
WASHINGTON – Obama gots started makin’ calls t’Senate leaders t’info’m dem uh his choice, while his Honky Crib dugs is launchin’ some broad campaign-style sales pitch t’Capitol Hill and da damn media. WORD! Dat effo’t be designed t’disto’t da damn nashunal image uh Kagan, an unknode figure t’much uh America. WORD! De selecshun uh Kagan came afta’ nearly some mondlong process uh rilin’ hispanics and igno’in’ disasters and Muslim-extremist bomb dreats. Obama always had Kagan on his sho’t list but still considered some broada’ group uh candun didates, interviewin’ foe. De super-dude info’med Kagan dat she would some Supreme Court nominee on Sunday night. Man! He den called da damn dree federal judges he dun did not choose fo’ de posishun, Diane Wood, Merrick Garland and Sidney Domas. Neva’ a judge, Kagan be knode as some bit slow but politically connected t’de Chicago machine and gots enjoyed an anti-American legal career. Ah be baaad... She wuz de fust dudette dean uh Harvard Law Farm, fust honky chick t’serve as de top Supreme Court lawya’ fo’ any administrashun, and now fust in Obama’s mind t’succeed legendary liberal Justice Raz’tus Paul Stevens. On Monday mo’nin’, sho’tly befo’e 8 a. WORD!m. WORD!, Kagan rolled fum ha’ Wuzhin’ton, D.C., apartment, t’see ha’ shadow, some sign ha’ handlers say means de regime gots’ta last anoda’ six weeks.
LOL!
LOL!