DUmmie FUnnies 12-17-09 (DUmmies ready to join Olbermann in going to jail!)

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | December 17, 2009 | DUmmies and Charles Henrickson

[Charles Henrickson]

Gandhi . . . King . . . Mandela . . . Solzhenitsyn . . . Olbermann . . . OLBERMANN?? Wha-aa?? Yes, Keith Olbermann, the Wussiest Person in the World, is ready to join the ranks of heroic dissidents of the past in going to JAIL for his beliefs! I can just see his future memoirs: "The Long Island Archipelago." "Letters from a Bridgehampton Jail." KO's life and career will become the stuff of legend. Movies will be made: "Inflictus." "The Golf Shank Reduction." Ben Affleck will find work again. Songs will be written: "We shall Olbermann someday." "Let there be Keith on earth."

What has brought on Olbermann's impassioned imprisonment KOurage? Last night on his wildly popular "KOuntdown" program, with an audience literally in the tens of hundreds, KO KO'd BO over the proposed Mutual of Obama mandatory health insurance bill. In his "Special KOmment," Keith railed and ranted to new heights of belligerent bloviation, closing with this pugnacious pledge:

I hereby pledge that I will not buy this perversion of health care reform. Pass this at your peril, Senators, and sign it at yours, Mr. President. I will not buy this insurance. Brand me a lawbreaker if you choose. Fine me if you will. Jail me if you must.

Is KO bucking for a Kewpie Doll here, having a brief moment of mental clarity? Not exactly. He opposes the bill for different reasons than we do. He thinks it's not KOmmunist enough!

"Pass this at your peril." "Jail me if you must." Them's fightin' words, and so if Keith Olbermann is going to jail, the DUmmies are ready to join him! A host of KO-KOnspirators are shouting "I am Olbermann!" "If they come for Keith, they come for me!"

So Keithie is the Darling of the Day in DUmmieland. You can read about it in a bunch of threads, like this THREAD, "Olbermann's Special Comment was AMAZING!" and this THREAD, "I stand with Keith O. I will not...actually cannot afford to..." and this THREAD, "Keith Olbermann says he'll go to jail before being forced to buy health insurance and" and this THREAD, "I'm going to jail, who's with me?".

The DUmmie KOmments are in Bolshevik Red, while the KOmmentary of your humble guest KOrrespondent, Charles Henrickson, is in the [brackets]:

Olbermann's Special Comment was AMAZING!

[Olbermann's Special KOmment was AMUSING!]

He not only hit it out of the ball park but the east coast to west coast.

[He parked it! From KOast to KOast!]

I love that he says he will refuse to be forced to buy into this bondage and protection money for health care. He said he will go to jail first.

[ATTICA!]

Olbermann's job is to get TV ratings. . . . Don't take Olbermann's rants too seriously.

["Rantings for Ratings." It's not working.]

You are tombstoned, troll, so STFU

[You are THE WORST LOUSY FREEPER TROLL IN THE WORLD!]

Keith is wrong on this. He's wrong on Obama. He's on the wrong side for healthcare reform, which can be amended as opposed to killed to be buried. He can go off in his life of privilege and wink at those who can't get any coverage and think he's a folksy Murrowesque hero. He won't see them spit blood as he walks by to get into his limo.

[But it's a limo to Leavenworth!]

KO takes the subway, for one thing.

[The Underground Railroad! Dissidents on the run!]

he is obviously making many people very nervous speaking truth to power.

["Speaking truth to power"! Take a drink, if you're playing at home!]

Thank you Keith, it was hard to listen to, but you're a better man than oh so many others in Congress!!!

[Keith Übermann.]

I stand with Keith O.

[I am Olbermann!]

Jail ain't nothing to me. Hell, I'll get some health care there.

[Is that you, Otis Campbell?]

KO will go to jail? Now that's funny.

[It could be a sit-KOm, "Olbie's Heroes," with Chris Dodd as Sgt. Schultz, Harry Reid as Col. Klink, and the aforementioned Ben Affleck, of course, as Olbie.]

Sure he won't go to jail for that. He could go to jail in the future for inciting rebellion or whatever fascist overlords accuse people who dissent from them in thought.

["Fascist overlords"! Drink up! The irony, of course, is that it's the DEMOCRATS that would be the fascist overlords!]

"keith olbermann" is a f***ing corporation. you do get that right? right?

[KOco.]

the stupidity here is overwhelming sometimes. . . .

[KOOkoo.]

I'm going to jail, who's with me?

[Field trip!]

I will happily go to jail. There I will get a roof over my head, three meals a day, something constructive to do and I'll get free health care. All provided by the state. Do the math, it's not a bad deal.

[Like Mom's basement, only better!]

I'll try to stay out of prison myself, thanks.

[Is that you, Blago?]

Hope you can believe in...Maybe you can be on his Change Gang too.

["Change Gang." I sense a parody coming on. Maybe later this week.]

I can't go to jail because they'll put my animals down.

["Putdown," hosted by DUmmie EFerrari.]

I'll just have to go on the lam.

[The horse would be faster.]

We'll start an outlaw commune. All we need is an old school bus.

[The Olbermannson Family.]

Can we grow food there and cultivate some livestock?

[benburch is especially interested in cultivating the livestock.]

Extra cows and goats for making cheese for sale. Sell excess garden harvest. Lots creative and talented people here with skills to manufacture goods and provide services.

[There would be no shocking memories, and the prevailing emotion will be one of nostalgia for those left behind, combined with a spirit of bold curiosity for the adventure ahead!]

We can start a website, Uninsured Underground

["The UUmies"? "Double U"? No, that one wouldn't work, fer sure. . . .]

The ultimate unfunded mandate. Unfunded, coercive, creating a new criminal class. Hope and change!

[Hope and chains! You win today's Kewpie Doll!]

I'm too pretty to go to jail

[Don't worry, ben, it'll be FUn!]

[Mr. Silverback]

I was joking, y’all. I know Croce covered Cooke. He did it in a track called “Chain Gang Medley” that also had “He Don’t Love You” (also a Cooke song, IIRC) and “Searchin’” (originally by The Coasters) in it.

[Condor51]

*** I did. See post 61. ***

Missed that, I type slow :-)
(plus I logged of after posting)

As to The Pretenders. You prolly didn't miss much. They were a Rock Group in the late 70's, early 80's led by Female Singer-song-writer Chrissie Hynde. Their big hit was 'Back On The Chain Gang'. (R&R was still pretty much DEAD then. (imo)

And I didn't know Jim Croce covered Sam Cooke's 'Chain Gang' until I searched his discography. I didn't really care for him. I kinda cringed at his 'Bad Bad Leroy Brown', even though I was at that time still living on the 'South Side of Chicago' (like in his song).

[Mr. Silverback]

I didn't really care for him.

Fill Your hands, you son of a biscuit!

Seriously, everyone should hear this Croce song at least once...he doesn't get credit for writing what is basically one of the funniest novelty songs ever. The best part is that the woman in the song is a real person Croce met whil singing in bars.

The guy who posted this included the lyrics under "More Info."

[Condor51]

*** Fill Your hands, you son of a biscuit! ***

I would. If I knew what that meant ;-)

Okay, "SERIES" I listened to that song and I kinda like it. Its got a nice Blues beat.
But as to Jim Croce himself there's just something about the guy, the way he looks.

He reminds me of.. Borat!

[Charles Henrickson]

I didn't really care for him. I kinda cringed at his 'Bad Bad Leroy Brown', even though I was at that time still living on the 'South Side of Chicago' (like in his song).

I was living at the time on the North Side of Chicago, the bestest part of town, where I grew up. I didn't really care for "Leroy Brown," but I did like Jim Croce.

Most of his songs seemed to fall into one of two categories: the urban-gritty/blue-collar/redneck character story-song (LB, Rapid Roy, Roller Derby Queen, Car Wash Blues) or the tender ballad (Operator, Time in a Bottle).

[Mr. Silverback]

As far as tender ballads go, his best one--the simple, phenomenal and heartbreaking Dreamin' Again--is his probably his least well known. This guy's cover is just about as good as the original, though the background singers coming in at the beginning of the last verse on the original is something I wouldn't want to do without if I recorded it. It literally gave me goosebumps the first time I heard it, something about that and the way he sings "everything was still." It gives me an image of heavenly beauty, like an angel chorus, but he's denied it because of either who he is, who his woman is, or both.

And yeah, with some exceptions (such as Next Time, This Time) his stuff does fall into those groupings. He had a heavy folk background, a blues man's life and a lot of dues-paying time in redneck bars, so it all comes together in a certain type of repetoire.

"Girl, I can hang up as fast as you can call. And that ain't all." I just love that line.

[Cletus.D.Yokel]

I’m currently working on the southside (Lake Calumet). His lyrics ring true.

2 weeks ago, there was shooting at 105th and Torrence (about a mile from my office).

[Mr. Silverback]

I would. If I knew what that meant ;-)

It's a cleaned up line from True Grit.

[U.S. Marshal Rooster Cogburn confronts four outlaws across a field]
Ned Pepper: What's your intention? Do you think one on four is a dogfall?

Rooster Cogburn: I mean to kill you in one minute, Ned. Or see you hanged in Fort Smith at Judge Parker's convenience. Which'll it be?

Ned Pepper: I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man.

Rooster Cogburn: Fill your hands, you son of a bitch!
[Rooster goads his horse into a charge]