Posted on 12/11/2009 12:25:03 PM PST by ocr1
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Lindsay Vonn's dual victories at Lake Louise over the weekend have drawn sharp criticism from ranking Democrats, followed by demands for an inquiry into the troubling incident. President Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder held a press conference announcing an investigation into Vonn's motives. "America has been arrogant in the past," stated the president. "We need to atone and ask for forgiveness. These victories in the women's downhill events send the wrong message to the world - that America is still arrogant and seeks to win. For this I intend to apologize directly to the IOC." |
The noted historian Harry Reid corroborated Mrs. Boxer's findings by pointing at the disturbing parallel of Vonn's prowess at skiing and slavery. "If you think you've seen determination to win in the past, you're right. Slave masters also wanted to win. Just like them, she wants to dominate others, only in sports," Reid said.
Representative Barney Frank, while on his way to insult his constituency at a town hall meeting, was adamant: "It's sick! What's worse, she's married to a man! What kind of message does this send our children?" Khalid Sheikh Mohammed spoke from his jail cell and offered his insight as a respected scholar on Sharia Law. "In my country, women must ski in burkhas! Clearly she is an infidel and must be punished! What more is there to say?"
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You are absolutely right Al! The whole concept of skiing on snow is only made possible due to the snow melting beneath the moving ski causing it to keep sliding on a microscopic film of water all the way down the mountain.
The race started, and after approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the winner. About 40 minutes later, the Redhead crawled ashore and was declared the second place finisher. Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.
When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete this regulation breaststroke race, she replied, I dont want to sound like Im a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms.
Justice Department is investigating.
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