Personally I find it pretty alarming that so many conservatives cite a laundry list of unconstitutional federal programs as reasons they support the current scheme of government-licensed, government-regulated, one-man-one-woman marriage.
Get government out of marriage! And not just the federal government.
Getting government out of marriage is the last thing the gay marriage lobby wants of course.
We now have several living generations who believe that a legal decision automatically equates to societal acceptance and it’s no different with the gay marriage debate.
Removing government from the equation frightens them but what they really fear is being ignored.
To advance the discussion, I'm not sure what the logical conclusion of your position is, or perhaps I don't fully understand your position.
Government, at least on some level - county, state, or federal - has to recognize the legal implications of the marriage contract. Or, are you suggesting that no government entity, at any level, make any distinction between a married couple and an "unmarried couple"?
What about adoption laws, state and federal tax laws to include not just income but also inheritance tax laws and community property laws? There's also end-of-life decisions that fall exclusively to the purview of the spouse, and no other. Would you change those laws as well?