Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Zimbabwe's Central Bank Raids Private Bank Accounts
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 25 April 2009 | John Semmens

Posted on 04/29/2009 10:55:34 AM PDT by John Semmens

Zimbabwe's Central Bank Governor, Gideon Gono, said the central bank has taken funds from private accounts to help cover the government’s deficit.

“The private property of the few cannot be allowed to impede the government from meeting the needs of the many,” Gono explained. “We have already taxed everything that can be taxed. We have already tried inflating our way out of financial difficulty. We were at our wits end when someone pointed out that many foreign firms had deposits in our banks and that there was nothing they could do to stop us from taking this money.”

Gono stressed that this confiscation would enable the country to get a fresh start. “Now that everyone is broke the world is born anew,” Gono proclaimed. “Everyone and every entity starts at zero. There will be no private enclaves with resources to counter the government’s control over the economy.”

US Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner characterized the move as “radical and intriguing.”

(Excerpt) Read more at azconservative.org ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: banks; confiscate; money; satire

1 posted on 04/29/2009 10:55:34 AM PDT by John Semmens
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

SATIRE FOLKS! It just FEELS like it could be true, so don’t get yourselves in a tizzy, just watch to see if it comes to pass.........


2 posted on 04/29/2009 10:57:30 AM PDT by wombtotomb
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

I know its not true - because no one has money in bank accounts in Zimbabwe.

Now the USA on the other hand....


3 posted on 04/29/2009 10:58:58 AM PDT by PGR88
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: wombtotomb

It is a shame when satire comes so close to the truth, in the near future Dear Leader could be saying the same thing.


4 posted on 04/29/2009 10:59:15 AM PDT by LukeL (Yasser Arafat: "I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens
The private property of the few cannot be allowed to impede the government from meeting the needs of the many,” Gono explained. “We have already taxed everything that can be taxed. We have already tried inflating our way out of financial difficulty.
Gono went on to explain Zimbabwe is following the lead of America's new administration and has received considerable help form Messrs. Paulson, Geitner, and Frank.
5 posted on 04/29/2009 10:59:42 AM PDT by dblshot
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: LukeL

Isn’t it though?


6 posted on 04/29/2009 10:59:46 AM PDT by wombtotomb
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Okay, just so they don’t touch the abandoned funds of Mr Herbert Jokansen-Jokansen, which a Nigerian minister has assured me is a deceased distant relative of mine. I haven’t managed to get together all the account info the minister wants yet and we both want to get those funds over here for an equitable split between us.


7 posted on 04/29/2009 11:00:52 AM PDT by caseinpoint (Don't get thickly involved in thin things)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Love that last line!


8 posted on 04/29/2009 11:12:01 AM PDT by pnut22
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Dang it. No wonder I didn’t receive my money!

“FROM ROSE GUEI
Zimbabwe
E-mail= roseguei090@yahoo.fr

Dearest One,

I am the first duaghter of an ex military/ex president been an opposition party to the present Government of COTE D`IVOIRE. On the 19th sept 2002 my father/mother including every members of our family was murdered by the unknown REBELS during the time they attack our house by shooting and looting, even this is one of the things that contributed to the present crisis in our country today.

God so kind I was not in town when the incident occurred, the plans of the REBELS is to kill every members of our family so that no one will rise up to revenge as time goes on. I am in our country without any one knowing although I am on hiding so that the unknown REBELS will not get to me and kill me like they killed all the members of our family. Why I still stay back in our country is to transfer the $18.5mUSD which my late father deposited in the custody of one of the SECURITY ASSISTANCE COMPANY,here in Abidjan,he deposited the fund as a family treasure containing AFRICAN ART WORK FOR EXPORT for security reasons, as security company does not operate as bank where some one can deposit his/her money openly.

Before the death of my father he gave me the covering documents of the fund deposited in the security company, as I am his first duaghter and he so much loved me that was why he made me the beneficiary of the two iron trunk boxes containing the $18.5mUSD.

Right now I wish to transfer this fund to you so that you will assist me to invest the money into any viable sector in your country, also you will help me to join you in your country for me to start up a new life with you there immediately the fund gets to you. since I am no longer safe as far as Africa is concern at the moment, I wanted to transfer the fund before leaving the country because this fund is my last hope and the only hope I have now.

Before I even pick you to assist me I have prayed and slept over it asking God to provide for me a Godly minded person that will assist me in this transaction. I will give you more details of the transaction in my next mail with my pictures ok.(roseguei090@yahoo.fr)

Awaiting to here from you.
Thanks and God bless you.

Miss Rose Guei.”


9 posted on 04/29/2009 11:25:09 AM PDT by dynachrome (Barack Hussein Obama yunikku khinaaziir)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson