Posted on 03/25/2009 7:26:37 AM PDT by Notoriously Conservative
I don't know the status of parenting in America. But I know a little about the status of education in America. Parents' growing inability to impose manners and limits on their kids when the kids are in school is reflected in record dropout rates, as well as teen drug and alcohol abuse, teen sex, and unwed pregnancies. Maybe it's parenting that's on the decline, more than the schools.
Exhibit A: My wife and I have just been seated for dinner when the maitre d' walks over and seats a young family at the table next to us and the kids start carrying on like orangutans on a leash.
The parents are going, "Timmy, that's not nice, don't throw your food, stop stuffing your mashed potatoes up your nose." Are mom and dad having fun yet, picking food up off the floor, apologizing to people like us, and wiping food flung across the table off their faces?
Some parents still have this attitude that their kids are too special to be burdened by discipline. And the rest of us are supposed to put up with their little mutants. That attitude really pisses me off.
I hate to break it to them, but the kids aren't special, and I don't have to put up with their behavior. If you can't control your obnoxious little brats, leave them home.
They don't belong out in public annoying other people, period. I don't remember a generation of kids ever so indulged and enabled to behave so badly. What's going on?
I remember as a kid I was expected to behave myself out in public or suffer the wrath of one very angry father. And of all the things that used to piss him off, those expectations didn't seem unreasonable. Something's gone terribly wrong here. My guess is it has to do...
(Excerpt) Read more at notoriouslyconservative.com ...
With a couple of shrieks I looked over and the parents had this sad, helpless looks. They talked quietly and politely to the child, which had the natural affect. ZILCH.
After a few more shrieks my simple looks over became glares. The same response from the parents. Which got the same response from the child.
After a few minutes more of this I had had enough and politely said "looks like somone needs a spankin'". Well this-just-absolute-ly set MOM off. She starts yelling at me how she has a good child, and they HAVE A RIGHT to go out to eat like everyone else, yada,yada,yada ...
My response was "OH!!! I'm sorry! Its not the child that needs the spanking, ITS YOU!"
Well as you can imagine, this doesn't go well with hubby, who up until now, hasn't shown an ounce of testicular fortitude. Hubby gets up, out of his chair and comes over by me, and proceeds to tell me no body talks to his wife like that, and....
My response was that he didn't have enough b@ll$ to stand up to his kid, he MOST DEFINETLY didn't have enough enough to stand up to me. I suggested he quietly sit down, while he was still able.
Well Wifey didn't like anyone talking to her ...um..."MAN" like that, so she said "WE don't need to take this, yada, yada, yada...were leaving." She pics little Damien up, grabs hubby's Richard Simmons' arm, and leads them to the front of the restaurant, where she procedes to rant at the manager, who looked as if there was nothing he could do about it. So she stormed out with baby satan in her arms and man-child in tow.
After they left, the manager came over and politely apologized for the inconvenience and bought us desert. When it came time to leave, he once again came over, and picked up the check and said dinner was on him.
I had another experience at Walmart, at Christmastime, in the small back area, of seasonal. Some woman had a child that was crying, and whinning and shrieking and howlering and crying more and shrieking more...you get the idea. After a good, nonstop 5 minutes, I loudly pronounce that "somebody needs a spanking", which was IMMEDIATELY followed by 8-10 people clapping or laughing.
You never heard a mother quiet her kid up so fast, and leave.
I continued my shopping, and had a few people thank me, with big smiles on their faces.
NOW ON THE OTHER HAND. My buddy and his wife have 7 kids. We've gone out to eat as a group, and THE WAITRESSES bring other waitresses by, to see the GREAT kids. Managers have offered dessert, either because the family is large, or because its large AND well behaved. Customers have stopped as their walking by, and have made comments on how well behaved the kids are.
DON'T misunderstand, these ARE normal kids. There is a constant thunder in their house, of kids running and playing and chasing, and the littlest one shrieking (usually with delite). They are after all kids. But home is one thing, church and restaurants and stores are something else.
I "babysat" the kids one night, to let my buddy and his wife have a night out. They have a hard time getting anybody to babysit 6-7 kids. They called, what seemed, every 20 minutes or so, to make sure all was alright, and that the house wasn't burnt down. Maybe they were afraid I'D teach them how to do that :).
Well they called on their way home, and let me know they'd be home in a short while. So I had the kids grab their moms clothes line rope and a dish towel. Then proceeded to tie MY wrists and ankles togehter, and stuffed the towel in my mouth, before mom and dad walked in. The kids talk about it still, 5 years later.
There is a difference between well behaved kids and others. I'll take my buddies kids anytime.
Thank you. Just removing even a small child from the situation does wonders.
"Still"? Good rant overall, but kids like this have been around as long as parents have existed. Jane Austen wrote about such brats more than 200 years ago. Still, good rant!
I was a waitress when I was in college and had a family that came in every Sunday after church with two hellion kids. These little snot-nosed tornadoes would disturb other diners at their tables, try to sneak through the waitress station and into the kitchen, get underfoot at the cash register, and when the family left, the carpet beneath their table would be littered with food.
Their parents were genuinely obtuse. Friendly people and pleasant to me and everyone else, they would laugh with delight at their kids' antics and look on with happy pride to see how other diners responded to the privilege of being visited at their tables by the little monsters. It always being Sunday and this being a slightly upper-crust family restaurant, no one ever had the nerve (that I saw) to complain. *sigh* At least the parents tipped pretty good. But it was a real lesson in how amazingly blind parents can be with regard to their kids.
People are surprised when our 2 1/2 year old son says please , thank you and you’re welcome. Lately, though, he’s been trying to push his boundaries but he doesn’t get what he wants without the prerequisite please. I’m teaching him that if it doesn’t belong to him, don’t touch it. He has his moments but for the most part he’s really good.
bump
I glanced at his mom but she was busy yacking with her girlfriend. So I got down in the kids face and bugged out my eyes and bared my teeth and in a low, clear, growl said, "Get out of here NOW!"
The kid actually screamed and ran back to his mom. As I was leaving I could hear him screaming to her, "She told me to get out of here now! SHE yelled at me!" His mother ignored him.
I hope I did permanent damage...I mean, made a profound impact :)
Yep. The same complaints are in Plato, in the Old Testament, in the Egyptian texts ... there's nothing new under the sun. The author's going to love it when the only kids around are the Moslems', I'm sure.
Love your tagline!
LOL :) Yeah, we see in Israel how they act in restaurants.
When mine were toddlers, generally it was Micky D’s and they knew if they were good they could go to the playground AFTER they ate! (I never understand kids wandering around in eating establishments instead of sitting down—I have several times seen waitresses almost trip over them carrying food, seems dangerous!)
Amen, amen, AMEN! Go to a barbecue or round-up or family party at a ranch that still lives the old-fashioned way where kids are left alone within reason while the adults enjoy themselves and the kids are allowed to be kids without being the center of the whole event, the kids are better behaved, more stable, and happier for it. Go to a home where everything room in the house and every inch of the yard is "kid friendly" and "kid proof," and the entire area has the look of a private nursery school -- the kids are the center of attention 24-7 and naturally grow up thinking they will always be so; when they find that upon reaching adulthood they forfeit special attention, they are let down. No wonder so many adult kids still live at home with Mom & Dad.
I think you hit the nail on the head: when we make our culture about kids instead of families and the adults who make the world function ... you get unhappy, disrespectful kids who dread growing up because there's nothing special that awaits.
Your kids are probably way better off eating at home anyway. When mine were growing up we really couldn’t afford to eat out that often, it was a treat. We did go to the mall a lot just to get out of the house (but also spent a lot of time at the park—kids DO need to run around and be kids).
Hang in there! By the time Anoreth turned 13, I was saying how glad I am that she’s not easily influenced!
Good one!
I have enjoyed reading all the stories on this thread. Sometimes I get frustrated with my kid’s behavior. Then I go out to eat or to the store and I realize that my children are very well behaved! The thing that really bothers me is that I see parents get angry over childish behavior like spilling milk but they ignore defiant behavior like talking back.
I only recall one spanking. That was enough for me, that hand on the belt shut my mouth up real fast! And as I got older, I recall vividly that what kept me out of most trouble was the idea that I would disappoint my parents. Did I do things I shouldn’t have? Of course. But it kept me out of the worst trouble (and I have a rebellious streak—I think most FReepers do!)
That is possible. I had my first at age 19 and my last at 23. I look back now and know there is NO way I could chase around after 3 boys at my age (and even knew when I was 40 I couldn’t have!) I think I’m more patient now, but I think energy may trump patience. I didn’t work, and we did stuff all the time, and I think now I would have to take more naps!
ding ding ding, we have a winner.
no means no, all the time. Mom says no AND Dad says no.
Kids are smart they learn how to "work the system".
Your daughter sounds like my youngest son. There were times I knew I was failing miserably with him (he is the strongest willed person I have ever known, bar none!) However, he is now in his late 20s, married, has a good job and is a lovely person. And a Freeper! Things WILL get better, just forge ahead! :)
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