Heere Bigynneth the Tale of the Asse-Hatte.

Iowahawk via Big Hollywood ^ | 2/18/2009 | David Burge blogs at Iowahawk

[papasmurf]

Heere Bigynneth the Tale of the Asse-Hatte.

1 Whan in Februar, withe hise global warmynge

2 Midst unseasonabyl rain and stormynge

3 Gaia in hyr heat encourages

4 Englande folke to goon pilgrimages.

5 Frome everiches farme and shire

6 Frome London Towne and Lancanshire

7 The pilgryms toward Canterbury wended

8 Wyth fyve weke holiday leave extended

{snip}

[papasmurf]

53 “But Father Williams,” sayed the Gaye-manne

54 “Though I am but a layman

55 The Mussleman youthes hath smyte me so

56 Whan on streets I saunter wyth my beau.”

57 Sayed the Bishop in a curt replye

58 “I am as toolrant as anye oothere guy,

59 But if Mussleman law sayes no packynge fudge,

60 Really nowe, who are we to judge?”

{snip}

[Blind Eye Jones]

Really nowe, who are we to fudge?

[goodwithagun]

i m a publik scewl teechur. This is great! I just finished the Wife of Bath’s Tale with my 11th graders.

[DieHard the Hunter]

BRILLIANT!

[La Lydia]

This guy really, really should get a Pulitzer Prize for his columns, but I’m not holding my breath. There should be a Pulitzer-type prize for normal, rational people who are nevertheless very clever, like Iowahawk. He is hysterically, slyly, sabotagingly funny.

[Mogwai]

bump

[papasmurf]

You said a mouthful. His words come back to me days, even months later, sometimes.

[762X51]

Thanks for posting this. It’s one of the most creative and brilliant pieces of humor I’ve ever seen. Outstanding!!!

[Upstate NY Guy]

Awesome.

The pilgryms shuffled for the door
To face the rule of the Moor;
Poets, Professors, Starbucks workers
Donning turbans, veils and burqqas.
As they face theyr fynal curtan
Of Englande folk, one thynge is certan:
Dying by theyr own thousande cuts,
The Englande folk are folking nuts

[kidd]

100 The Englande folk are folking nuts

LOL!
The whole thing...LOL!

[Max in Utah]

Heere Bigynneth the Tale of the Asse-Hatte.

1 Whan in Februar, withe hise global warmynge

2 Midst unseasonabyl rain and stormynge

3 Gaia in hyr heat encourages

4 Englande folke to goon pilgrimages.

[kidd]

(although I don’t ‘get’ the last line)

[Mad Dawgg]

Well this thread is a great place to revive Hatt-Baby!

[papasmurf]

Iowahawk also has a YouTube channel.

[RikaStrom]

for home

[Upstate NY Guy]

Thanks, I’ll check it out.