DUmmie FUnnies 02-08-09 ("Someone please remind me why America is so great.")

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | 02/08/2009 | DUmmie leftofthedial, DUmmies, and Paul Heinzman

[Charles Henrickson]

How did you go about moving to France? Was it difficult to orchestrate?

The first try didn't work out too well:

[Charles Henrickson]

I know it is much more difficult/impossible with dogs. . . .

Some of the retrievers are good water dogs.

[Charles Henrickson]

going to prom with your sister. Sure she may be pretty, and has good manners...but wouldn't you rather go with the punk chick that lives one street south of your sister--the one that drives the Camaro and drinks Jack Daniels and dances and stays out till 4am having a good time?

DUmmie stevenumbers can't even get his SISTER to go to the prom with him.

[Charles Henrickson]

the Civil War and the Great Depression were probably worse, yes.

[Charles Henrickson]

Compared to many parts of the world, we're doing pretty well.

Sorry, only one Kewpie Doll per thread.

[bcsco]

Well, since they still want to leave, I’ll toast them farewell with an Elijah Craig. Not that I need a reason to enjoy one...

[Paul Heinzman]

Oh, bringing the theme of another thread over here. I like it. I think I was finally able to sneak enough folding money into my wallet that I’ll be picking up a bottle of Elijah Craig on my way home from work tomorrow.

[bcsco]

I think I was finally able to sneak enough folding money into my wallet that I’ll be picking up a bottle of Elijah Craig on my way home from work tomorrow.

Good for you. I hope you enjoy it. I ran out last weekend and haven't had the time to refill the larder. Oh, well. That'll be corrected sometime this week. But after my lovely wife's birthday. First things first, you know...

[Army Air Corps]

Our roads, bridges, schools, power grid and other public infrastructure have not been up to current standards since the 1960's.

Wow, so all the roads, bridges, schools, and power grid imporvements since the 1960s have been to 1960's standards? DU teaches you something new every day.

[luvie]

...even...because it's SO rare!

[luvie]

Sorry, only one Kewpie Doll per thread.

OOPS!

[Future Snake Eater]

I can’t figure out why they want to leave now. Didn’t their dreams just come true electing the messiah?

Yeah, same here! This, honestly, is very puzzling behavior...I really don't get it.

[SolidusRaccoon]

Our health care system serves only insurance companies, wealthy doctors and the ultra-wealthy elite who can afford care

Wow, who knew that busting my butt, doing honest labor, would make me one of the ultra wealthy elite?

[Paul Heinzman]

Great work, as always.

[Paul Heinzman]

Canadians are really more like the French than I'm sure many of them would be willing to admit.

Canadians are some pretty tough hombres, by and large. I wouldn't mess with them in anything but a good-natured way. There are a lot of badass French people too.

I hope all our Canadian and French FRiends took these comments in the spirit they were intended.

[Roscoe Karns]

I think the DUmmies actually like all the doom-and-gloom news coverage of the economy. It gives them an excuse for failure. Even when times are good they are constantly looking for the cloud that surrounds the silver lining. They are never happy.

[Dianna]

Yeah, same here! This, honestly, is very puzzling behavior...I really don't get it.

It is a total mindset. My very liberal cousin recently (last weekend) moved into a larger apartment. She was sure that everything in her life was going to be different because the new apt was better. It is bigger, has more light, it has a "real kitchen" that she can cook in, etc.

I very gently reminded her that even if she moves, she is taking herself with her. The problem isn't her old apartment, her problem is her attitude.

She moved last week and...she still doesn't like her job, she still doesn't cook, there is too much light in her bedroom at night, and the traffic is too loud.

[Budge]

Yeah, same here! This, honestly, is very puzzling behavior...I really don't get it.

It is because the United States didn't instantly become a true socialist/communist state when the big "o" was sworn in.

[Cyber Liberty]

Canadians are really more like the French than I'm sure many of them would be willing to admit.

That one kinda swerved into the thruth there....

[wbill]

("Someone please remind me why America is so great.")

Well, before I even read the article or any comments on the thread....

I'd say that the first thousand or so reasons why America is awesome have to with the fact that anyone can make a post like "Remind me why America is so great" without getting disappeared.