Posted on 01/28/2009 12:25:39 PM PST by Osama Obama
This week, the halls of the legislature in the Land of Lincoln have echoed with the FBI phone taps of their executive. Instead of defending himself at the impeachment trial, embattled Illinois Governor Blagojevich has taken his case to the airwaves.
The investigative wing of The Wit Hits the Fan has obtained strategic, top-secret public relations information from the Blago camp. Without further delay, we present:
Top 10 rejected PR stunts by Illinois Governor Blagojevich
No reason why you can’t post them....
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Top 10 rejected PR stunts by Illinois Governor Blagojevich
10. Star in an independent film in which he plays an over the hill professional wrestler trying to relate to his estranged daughter.
9. Vow publicly to help OJ Simpson find the real killer.
8. File a legal request to have his impeachment trial held in front of the American Idol judges.
7. Introduce evidence that there may have been a second corrupt governor, selling the open Senate seat from behind a grassy knoll.
6. Save hundreds of airline passengers from immanent death by performing a complicated emergency splash landing in the Chicago River.
5. Announce to the press that he considered appointing Oprah Winfrey for Obamas Senate seat sorry, he actually did this one.
4. Offer to shave his head at a pep rally in the Illinois House Chamber if he is allowed to stay in office.
3. Leak a sex tape to the press and act outraged when its sold on late-night infomercials.
2. Accuse Illinois legislators of trumping up the charges because they oppose his free puppy for every sick child initiative.
1. Three words: Blame Rush Limbaugh.
The nitwit says “we all” say untoward things when we think no one is listening.
WRONG.
The TRUE test of a person’s character is what he says when he thinks no one is listening.
He is a national joke-—just the sight of those beady eyes and mop hair and that greedy greasy con man chatter-—is a HUGE laugh.
The lamebrain compounds his stupidity by actually thinking he is somehow resurrecting himself by 24/7 talk show appearances.
Rejected b/c Oprah wouldn't play.
His wife Patty agreed to play Butt Bingo with his Senate nominess. The one who nailed her would get the seat.
Land of Lincoln now Land of Linked-Cons.
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