Millions Prepare For Orgasm During Obama Speech

Elective Decisions ^ | 1/19/09 | Chris Davis

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Washington—In what could likely put Playboy magazine out of business, millions of Americans are preparing to achieve orgasm during Barack Obama’s inauguration speech tomorrow. The abundant frenzy—expected upward of 20 million—would be unprecedented in American history, dwarfing the two or three million orgasms on Election Night.

Obama’s speech, “Great Expectations,” is reportedly expected to run 17 minutes long—a period of time which is sure to leave millions writhing and undulating in sheer bliss.

The Pew Center for research has reported that 90 percent of women, and 85 percent of liberal men, expect to achieve climax in the final thrust of Obama’s campaign speech, leaving many with “Great Expectations” of their own.

[writer33]

Thanks for reading, truthkeeper. I appreciate it.

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I’m sorry to hear you won’t become aroused, but it is good to hear you are working. Thanks for reading, Zircon. I appreciate it.

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Thanks for reading, kcvl. I appreciate it.

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Sorry to hear about the Socialist European husband, but thanks for reading. I appreciate it.

[writer33]

Good idea on the Obama Inaugural Commemorative Seat. Thanks for reading, Gator. I appreciate it.

[writer33]

Thanks for reading, L. I appreciate it. The orgasms should slow down starting tomorrow afternoon.

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Thanks for reading, linn37. I appreciate it.

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Thanks for reading, Quix. I appreciate it.

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Thanks for reading, Revolting cat. I appreciate it. I’m sure the students from Saudi Arabia are ready to act.

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Thanks for reading, PGalt. I appreciate it.

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By the stocks in batteries, and sell short on Friday. Thanks for reading, austinaero. I appreciate it.

[writer33]

Just Rush for me tomorrow, but no television. Thanks for reading. I appreciate it.

[writer33]

I WANNA A DIVORCE!

Assuming this is uncontested, I'd grant it. Thanks for reading, Dallas59. I appreciate it.

[writer33]

Thanks for reading, ritewingwarrior. I do appreciate it. And you’re right. It is partly true in its own sense.

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Not looking forward to waking up tomorrow, but thanks for reading. I appreciate it.

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For Kouric, and many, there will be multiple orgasms. Good observations, Doc.

Thanks for reading. I appreciate it.

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Thanks for reading, JustaDumbBlonde. I appreciate it.

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Thanks for reading, rllngrk33, and stay safe so you don’t get mobbed in DC.

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Thanks for reading, lily. I do appreciate it. It does look like Oliver Twist tomorrow.

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

I’ll be sleeping during the Obamao’s speech. He’ll just have to get along without mt.