The Attorney General of California Should Immediately Return to Earth on the Next Inbound Shuttle

THE MINORITY REPORT ^ | Posted on December 23rd, 2008 | .cnI redruM

[.cnI redruM]

It was an early scene from The Matrix, but even Keanu Reeves began to figure out things had just gotten really weird. He discusses said predicament with his wasted buddy, Choi.

Neo:You ever have that feeling where you're not sure if you're awake or still dreaming?

Choi: All the time. It's called mescaline, it's the only way to fly.

Wikipedia describes Mescaline as a naturally occurring psychedelic alkaloid that is used to enhance transcendental practices. Apparently, serving as Attorney General, in The Great State of California, offers the office holder opportunities to experience transcendence; even without the pharmaceutical props. At least Jerry Brown’s latest efforts to torpedo Proposition 8 suggest he’s not quite as think as you stoned he was.

It turns out the opponents of Prop 8 predictably set about the violent trashing of California jurisprudence as they simultaneously unleashed the howling mobs on Pastor Rick Warren. Just as their protests were a dazzling display of thuggish intolerance and bad PR, the intellectual gravaman of their legal objections made the latest GM business plan read like a logical, intelligent document. The initial arguments ran that Prop 8 was really a revision, not an amendment and therefore should have been allowed up for a vote in the first place.

As California's Attorney General, Jerry Brown scratched his thrice-baked noodle and pondered the predicament that lay curled up in his lap like an ugly, homeless kitty. Jerry Brown liked the anti-Prop 8 side of the argument. However, even Governor Moonbeam couldn’t deny that stupidity looked really bad, when printed up under the aegis of official State of California letterhead. He thus had to reject the objections to Proposition 8 as they were currently worded.

But the misbegotten kitten in his lap looked awful darn forlorn, even for a bad literary metaphor, and he really wanted the anti-prop 8 people to win. Preferably, they would win before they got bored with trashing Sod Porncisco and started their fires in Oakland instead. So it was then that Jerry Brown commenced the alchemical transmutation of the anti-prop 8 legal briefing into a bowl of chicken salad.

Thus, like the practitioner of new age transcendence who voted him into office, Jerry Brown developed a mantra…..He ran this one up the flag pole at a recent presser conference.

“The amendment process cannot be used to extinguish fundamental constitutional rights without compelling justification.”

Attorney General Brown would prefer to elide the definition of compelling justification. A discussion of who should judge the suitability of such a justification would leave Jerry Brown in an unpleasant grid on the epistemological map. Proposition 8 just passed at the voting booths. The people got to vote on it. A majority of them apparently felt quite justified.

Perhaps these revision-amendment thingies need to be justified to the People’s overlords. Louis XIV once famously quipped. “L'état, c'est moi.” If Jerry Brown can say the same for himself, with regards to The State of California; the voters are getting their preference good and hard.

California voters have chosen this self-selecting, addled and talentless elite. An elite that despises the processes of referendum and recall. Yet they also use recall and referendum to balance the totalist impulses of the vain, arrogant, self-infatuated fools who they have vaulted into power.

In the end, recall and referendum will lie exposed as failed proxies for an informed, engaged citizenry that performs its civic duty on Election Day. Jerry Brown, Nancy Pelosi, Waxman and the rest of the merry band feel immune from public opprobrium. Public opinion consists of what they give people permission to believe is fashionable.

None of this is decent, logical or even workable as a stable, long-term equilibrium. But until the voting public intervenes and turns these miscreants out, the space flight to another planet will continue. Jerry Brown’s facile and condescending arrogance on the topic of Proposition 8 indicates the obvious.

Namely, that Jerry Brown the rest of the Star Trek Convention rejects that currently lead California’s Zeitgeist, need to return to Earth on the next inbound shuttle. Otherwise; there may be increasingly less and less of what was once America’s banner state worthy of still being saved.

[.cnI redruM]

Yes, Jerry Brown retains power and influence to pester yet another generation with his aberrant stupidity...

[nickcarraway]

Jerry Brown was governor of California for 8 years. If this is a Constitutional issue, how come he didn’t do anything about it for 8 years?

[.cnI redruM]

Here, he gets to blame it on Ahnold....The timing is perfect.

[Liz]

"Ach der lieber.....Kalifurrneeah bankrupt? Duz dat mean I gotda chainch my
plans abat runnin for prezeedunt."

"Chonny and Wooty choin me to announce my eentenshun to trow dem both
undah da bus so's I kin get federal tax dollahs to bailout bankrupt Kaliforneeah."

" You RINOS bettah make udder plans. I gotda funny feeling
da Reepublucan Potty tinks you two are pure crapola."

" I hear RINOS kin get jobs as Val-Mart greeters, and Home Depot paint
mixers unt McD's ketchop pumpers, or vaiters at Ved Lobstah."

"Kaleefurnia really needs da money. ai'll kiss anyboty's tookus to gets da money."

" Ai'll trow Lyndsee, Villyraygoosa unt dem RINOS and punkeos unter da bus.
Mebee I trow Maria under da bus, too."

[Liz]

Cali AG, Jerry Brown scratched his thrice-baked noodle and pondered the predicament that lay curled up in his lap like an ugly, homeless kitty transmutating it into a bowl of chicken salad.

Now you went and did it---Kim Basinger is going ballistic thinking about Jerry Brown making a forlorn homeless kitty into chicken salad.

Kim's so mad she forgot herself and had rough sex with Alec Baldwin (completely forgettng they are officially divorced).

[.cnI redruM]

The visual is killing me. I kinda figured that Trey Parker had permanently discredited the manhood of Arik Bardwin.

[Liz]

I kinda figured that Trey Parker had permanently discredited the manhood of Arik Bardwin.

Yeah, right.

BTW, Matt Drudge thought so, too----Alec whined Drudge hit on him in the hallway of NBC.