“Given that dogs act like liberals, isn’t it odd that conservatives are such dog-lovers? I do love dogs, too.”
As Paul Harvey once observed: to your dog you are family, to your cat you are staff.
Love my kitty. Actually I have two, and there are two more begging to be part of my family...They are outside the front door, and they go in for shots tomorrow.
Cats are more like selfish, arrogant liberals. They have a boundless sense of superiority and entitlement. And they couldn’t care less about their owners except to the extent that they need some human to pamper them. Dogs are the proper pet choice for conservatives. They are loving and helpful, and they have the virtues of loyalty and gratitude (how very unlike cats). Sometimes dogs carry it too far and lick the hand that slaps them, but then, many of us conservative humans have been nothing but nice to the likes of John McCain and Bill Weld. Better a virtue carried too far than no virtue at all. Cats are elegant. So what? Katrina vanden Heuvel is, too. Also, Muslims love cats and despise dogs. I rest my case.
From an e-mail I received awhile ago
Excerpts from a Dog’s diary:
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Excerpts from a Cat’s diary
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh
meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only
thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the
occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat
another house plant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by
weaving around their feet while they were walking
almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these
vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit
on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the
headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I
am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to
plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are.
For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture.
This time however it included a burning foamy chemical
called “shampoo.” What sick minds could invent such a
liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb
still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their
accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the
event. However, I could hear the noise. More
importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to
MY power of “allergies.” Must learn what this is and
how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are
flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely
released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has
got to be an informant, and speaks with them
regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due
to his current placement in the metal room his safety
is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of
time......
I’ve had dogs for 43 years. No way do they act like liberals. FREEDOM is #1 with my pups!
woof
Now I’m totally confused! I have two dogs, two cats and 50 chickens.
Just which political party am I supposed to belong to? ;)
*ping* to ancient arguement.
LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!
As for me, I’m happy to be loved by both a cat and 2 dogs. The difference is the cat thinks I should feel honored. :o)
I believe it’s just the oppposite......cat lovers are usually Republicans....they don’t need anyone to fuss over them and give them constant attention and constantly feed or let them outside they can go to the bathroom. I’ve also noticed that people who need to be needed and are outgoing and needs lots of people around them are dog lovers...
People who are more intellectual, not needing constant companionship or approval, are cat lovers. All makes logical sense too!
Glad someone else sees that cats are actually closer to libertarian philosophy than dogs for a change! Usually here we get “cats are socialists”.
Each may have components of socialism/libertarianism, but overall I think cats are more libertarian. It’s dogs who have to be watched after constantly, don’t take care of themselves, and are better (somewhat) at being bossed around.
“Cats and dogs, living together...mass hysteria!”