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Bankrupt Businesses Defend Sports Sponsorships
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 7 Dec 2008 | John Semmens

Posted on 12/07/2008 5:32:33 PM PST by John Semmens

Despite lining up at the “federal trough” for large helpings of taxpayers’ dollars, ailing businesses like AIG, and Citibank say they have no plans to cancel hundreds of millions of dollars in sports team sponsorships.

“Putting your company’s name on a stadium built with tax-financing is the kind of ‘in-your-face’ image that says you’re the top dog in the hump,” bragged Citibank CEO Robert Baron. “I can’t tell you how many doors it’s opened at city hall, the state house or congress.”

Baron dismissed criticism that his firm ought to concentrate on putting out a better product or make better investment decisions as “small-time thinking.” “The old, ‘build-a-better-mousetrap’ saw is for saps,” Baron contended. “The big money is in who you know and who knows you. The company’s name on the stadium seals the deal.”

Though it recently lost billions in bad mortgages and had to fire 53,000 workers Citibank paid the New York Mets $400 million to name the team's new stadium "Citi Field." AIG, privy to $150 billion in federal bailout aid, is on the hook for $125 million to the British soccer team Manchester United for the privilege of having its logo appear on the teams’ uniforms.

(Excerpt) Read more at azconservative.org ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Humor; Sports
KEYWORDS: advertising; aig; bailout; bailouts; citibank; corruption; mismanagement; ncaa; satire; sportssponsorships
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1 posted on 12/07/2008 5:32:34 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Insanity. They should be forced to give it up as one of many conditions for bailing their asses out.

Proves they aren;t serious.


2 posted on 12/07/2008 5:35:18 PM PST by Secret Agent Man (I'd like to tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.)
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To: John Semmens

Advertising that helps the company may still make sense.


3 posted on 12/07/2008 5:35:19 PM PST by gondramB (Preach the Gospel at all times, and when necessary, use words.)
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To: 14erClimb; #1CTYankee; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; A message; abigailsmybaby; acapesket; afnamvet; ...

ping


4 posted on 12/07/2008 5:38:14 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

The last part of the article was about Barack Obama putting his children into a private school instead of a public DC school. I guess he forgot about Jane Byrne moving into Cabrini Green to prove how safe it was when she was the mayor of Chicago. Or maybe Barack just doesn’t like white people as role models???


5 posted on 12/07/2008 5:39:35 PM PST by Bernard (If you always tell the truth, you never have to remember exactly what you said.)
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To: John Semmens

Truth is stranger than fiction, John. Right Guard Deodorant has leased NASCAR driver Stewart’s arm pits for its logo.

Good job as always....

.....Bob


6 posted on 12/07/2008 5:39:48 PM PST by Lokibob (When handed lemons...Refuse to sign for them. Life's lemons can't be delivered without a signature.)
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To: John Semmens

re: “Citi Field”

If they want to name it “Sh@##y Field” they have my OK.


7 posted on 12/07/2008 5:44:39 PM PST by Enchante (Countless Innocents in Mumbai, India Suffer the "Religion of Peace" in Action)
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To: John Semmens

you really might want to consider putting some sort of advertising banner on your site for extra cash. your satire is always ingenious, and hey, why not make a few bucks.

(p.s. you picture at the top of your page isn’t working for me)


8 posted on 12/07/2008 5:46:19 PM PST by robomatik ((wine plug: renascentvineyards.com cabernet sauvignon, riesling, and merlot))
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To: John Semmens
top dog in the hump

More like humpin dogs ... great satire as usual.

9 posted on 12/07/2008 5:49:45 PM PST by VRWC For Truth (Throw the bums out who vote yes on the bail out)
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To: John Semmens
John, a close friend of my introduced me to the catch phrase

Nature has a way of weeding out stupid people

I think I'm going to have to bastardize it and use

John Semmens posts have a way of exposing stupid people

Keep up the good work

10 posted on 12/07/2008 5:51:20 PM PST by tx_eggman (I own two rare photos. Houdini as he locks his keys in his car and Norman Rockwell beating a child.)
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To: Bernard
I guess he forgot about Jane Byrne moving into Cabrini Green to prove how safe it was when she was the mayor of Chicago.

Jane Byrne moved in with about 100 cops. Of course it was safe.

11 posted on 12/07/2008 5:51:43 PM PST by Non-Sequitur
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To: John Semmens
I have noticed that with each passing day it becomes more difficult to differentiate between satire and serious reporting. If I didn't know your name, I'd have done a double-take on a couple of those news “reports”.As always, well done, Sir.
12 posted on 12/07/2008 6:01:09 PM PST by CaribouCrossing
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To: John Semmens

I haven’t even finished the whole article, but it’s ‘killa’.


13 posted on 12/07/2008 6:10:09 PM PST by budwiesest (My president is in training. Hold, please.........)
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To: John Semmens
Thanks, another good one.
14 posted on 12/07/2008 6:16:40 PM PST by HuntsvilleTxVeteran (Obama, Change America will die for.)
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To: John Semmens

This would be a gut buster, if only it weren’t true.

The worst of it all, though, is that despite the bailouts that we are on the hook for, they have done nothing, nor do they plan or are required, to do anything to preclude these problems from re-occurring in the future.

After all is said and done, it’ll just be business as usual...again.


15 posted on 12/07/2008 6:31:47 PM PST by papasmurf (Impeach the illegal bastard!)
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To: John Semmens
“Putting your company’s name on a stadium built with tax-financing is the kind of ‘in-your-face’ image that says you’re the top dog in the hump,”

Who says Newt Gingrich is irrelevant? :)

16 posted on 12/07/2008 6:53:49 PM PST by GVnana ("I once dressed as Tina Fey for Halloween." - Sarah Palin)
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To: John Semmens

“image that says you’re the top dog in the hump,”

Now there’s an image I’ll have to rinse from my brain! LOL


17 posted on 12/07/2008 7:03:03 PM PST by dynachrome (Barack Hussein Obama yunikku khinaaziir)
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To: John Semmens

Thanks for another smile, or is that smirk?


18 posted on 12/07/2008 7:15:08 PM PST by pnut22
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To: John Semmens

Well done!


19 posted on 12/07/2008 7:18:43 PM PST by Man50D (Fair Tax, you earn it, you keep it!)
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To: Secret Agent Man

I do hope Citi is viable. Of course when they went to the hill and testified...oh wait they are bankers. They can have all the money they want-no strings. How silly of me to forget.


20 posted on 12/07/2008 7:29:14 PM PST by bronxboy
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