Posted on 10/26/2008 9:16:54 PM PDT by writer33
It's time to go vote tomorrow, and I just can't think of a reason to not vote for Obama/Biden.
Below is my life story, showing you why it's time that I get my cut:
I was born a poor, white child in the back of a Ford Pinto-or maybe just conceived-behind Wal-Mart in Corpus Christi, Texas. There I languished in the public school system, being forced to eat nothing but Spam and Deviled Eggs while awaiting LBJ’s “War On Poverty” to pull me out of the Corpus Christi ghetto. Painfully, I suffered under President Ronald Reagan’s jackboots. I agonized year after year that government would raise me from the ashes of poverty. Luckily, a sympathetic liberal teacher helped me get into the local community college. After only taking six years to get my Associates Degree, I finally realized that Bush was indeed the devil, and that he was responsible for my plight in life. Then, a savior arose from Chicago land. He walked across the water and filled my soul with joy. For he was Barack Obama!
Now, armed with my degree, I work hand in hand with the Obama campaign to bring down Big Oil, Big Pharmaceutical, Wal-Mart, and all Republicans in the name of real change. I work hard to insure millions of poverty-stricken Americans, such as myself, will not have to endure Spam and the Reagan Revolution ever again. Instead, they will enjoy the spoils of caviar with the help of yet another minimum wage increase. I will not rest until minimum wage is $50.00 per hour. This is the life that I’ve chosen, and this is the motto I’ve taken.
I'm tired of arguing with the change-lings and those with BDS anyway. It seems to be a useless waste of energy. So I agree, we will all vote for “The One” and everything in life will become peachy, just peachy.
The Obama energy plan, dontcha know!
Thanks Chris. BTTT!
Well if you use the logic of raging left loons then if you vote for Obama you must be a racist against whites.
Sound logic...you HAVE to vote for McCain...
God help us what is happening to our country!
Great post. You shouldn’t have let the cat out of the bag so soon. It would have been great troll bait. Those of us who have been here a while know you write some great satire.
The mantra for voting Democrat:
Why I’m voting Democrat:
I’m voting democrat because Barbara Walters is my idol and so is Puff Diddy.
I’m voting Democrat because English has no place being the official language in America.
I’m voting Democrat because I’d rather pay $4 for a gallon of gas than allow drilling for oil off the coasts of America.
I’m voting Democrat because I think the government will do a better job of spending my money than I could.
I’m voting Democrat because when we pull out of Afghanistan and Iraq, I know the Islamic terrorists will stop trying to kill us because they’ll think we’re a good and decent country.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe people who can’t tell us if it will rain in two or three days, can now tell us the polar ice caps will
disappear in ten years if I don’t start riding a bicycle, build a windmill or inflate my tires to proper levels.
I’ m voting Democrat because it’s all right to kill millions of babies as long as we keep violent, convicted murderers on death row alive.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe businesses in America should not be allowed to make profits. Businesses should just break even and give the rest to the government so politicians and bureaucrats can redistribute the money the way they think it should be redistributed.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe guns, and not the people misusing them, are the cause of crimes and killings.
I’m voting Democrat because when someone with a weapon threatens my family or me, I know the government can respond faster through a call to 911 than I can with a gun in my hand.
I’m voting Democrat because oil companies’ 5% profit on a gallon of gas are obscene, but government taxes of 18% on the same gallon of gas are just fine.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe three or four elitist liberals should rewrite the Constitution every few months to suit some fringe element that could never get their agenda past voters.
I’m voting Democrat because illegal aliens are not criminals, are not sucking up resources through government aid, hospital services, education, or social services, but are just people trying to make a better life by coming to America illegally. We can’t blame them for that, can we?
I’m voting Democrat because the same teacher that didn’t teach my child to read can reasonably educate them about sex.
I’m voting Democrat because my trial lawyer’s crippling multi-million dollar lawsuits against doctors, hospitals, drug companies, and HMO’s will make health insurance and medicine much more affordable.
I’m voting Democrat because Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan, and Jesse Jackson will end racism once and for all.
I’m voting Democrat because Christians in the Republican Party are intolerant, theocratic warmongers and atheists like William Ayers have never hurt anybody.
I’m voting Democrat so that no family member of mine will die in a hospital bed. They will still be waiting in line for Obama’s socialized medicine, so they will never actually make it into a hospital bed.
I’m voting Democrat because I like eminent domain and big business and government kicking me out of my home and taking my land.
I’m voting Democrat because everyone knows that raising taxes at the top won’t hurt people at the bottom.
I’m voting Democrat because skin color and good oratory skills are more important than judgment and experience.
I’m voting Democrat because protecting barren wasteland is more important than energy indepedence.
I’m voting Democrat because my college professor told me that America is evil and should give up its place in the world.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe that Cuba, Russia, and China should be on the United Nations Human Rights Council.
I’m voting Democrat because I bel ieve that everyone is essentially good — even people like Ahmadinejad who call for the destruction of Israel. He just needs a little understanding.
I’m voting Democrat because we should all be forced to drive ugly cars with the horsepower of a riding lawnmower.
I am voting Democrat because I believe in change; although I don’t know WHAT the change will be, or HOW it will happen, AND I am pretty sure that I won’t WANT to actually change anything I do, but still....I believe in change.
I’m voting Democrat because the government knows how to raise children better than parents do.
I’m voting Democrat because I want the rich to work harder, give me their money, and pay for my services so I don’t have to.
I’m voting Democrat because I don’t give to charity or do volunteer work and then I complain about how selfish everyone else is.
I’m voting Democrat because I’ve seen welfare help so many poor people become self-sufficient and upwardly mobile.
I’m voting Democrat because I’m not driven enough to realize my dreams without the government holding my hand the entire way..
I’m voting Democrat because I want America to be Europe’s prosthetic limb.
I’m voting Democrat because I think we all should be equal....equally unhappy and unsuccessful.
I’m voting Democrat because life just isn’t fair and I deserve what other people have without working for it.
I’m voting Democrat because I like hearing the word “Change” 50 million times in presidential debate, seeing the word on celebrities’ t-shirts and bags, on signs outside of million dollar houses, and know that the only change that is going to happen is that I’m going to work 40 hours a week and not even see a penny of my paycheck because taxes will go through the roof!!! YAY!!!!
I’m voting Democrat because Barack Obama is better than you, and he knows it!
I’m voting Democrat because I like how democrats can cause financial crises like Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and have the temerity to blame them on Republicans.
I’m voting Democrat because Obama was endorsed by Hamas and terrorists endorsements are a must to achieve world peace.
I am voting Democrat since I believe those who are lazy, druggies, high school drop outs, etc. should be entitled to the money I wake up every morning and work my ass off to make!
I’m voting Democrat because fire can’t melt steel.
I’m voting Democrat because for some reason “change, change, change”..is the mantra for the obama camp...so, since he won’t explain what “change” is...I guess he’s asking for parking meter fare?...I have three quarters in my wallet.
I’m voting democrat because it’s the COOL thing to do. I’m hip and in the majority.
I’m voting Democrat because I listen to and believe all the celebrities/actors who so passionately want Obama to win because I can’t think for myself at all. The same celebrities who WE make rich because we GO SEE their movies and watch their T.V. shows put millions of dollars into their pockets! But...these multi-million dollar celebs are so disheartened by AMERICAN ways and the capitalistic economy we have and the world will come to and end if another Republican comes into office...hmmmmm...
I’m voting Democrat because I’m a dumbass and because “Hillary said so”
I’m voting Democrat because I won’t be subjected to any criteria for meeting terrorists and having a cool-aid with any of them, and one last critical factor.
I’m voting Democrat because of the War on Terror. We have not been attacked once since Sept. 11, 2001, and that was caused by Bill Clinton, but I still don’t feel safe.
I’m voting Democrat because communist economics always work. Look how well off the Soviet Union is right now. That wall in Berlin has never looked better.
I’m voting Democrat because I agree with Joe Biden, that it really is patriotic to pay more taxes. So I’m goin g to pay a “direct tax.” Instead of wasting time giving it to the government for redistribution, I will give my money to derelicts who loiter outside of liquor stores and methadone clinics. That’s where it ends up anyway. YES WE CAN ... screw up this country like never before.
The first time I heard Rush was when he had his television show. I turned it on one night, and after a time I was hooked. That began my journey to conservatism.
Thanks for the bump, E.G.C.
Thank God for those fine Democrats. Having suffered through tuna fish casserole, it's a miracle that you survived.
Thanks for reading, Leni. I do appreciate it.
He was as cordial and gracious as anyone I've ever talked with. I am going to try to dig up the audio for you.
Actually, I moved out of Corpus Christi before high school, but my mother graduated from Carroll.
Yes, finally. A vote for Obama means a move to the center for America. Enough of this tyranny from GW. :-)
Thanks for reading, ST. Glad you enjoyed it.
Thanks for reading and for the bump, PGalt. I appreciate both.
Excellent point! I must vote for McCain. I can't be a racist. I'm far too enlightened. Thanks for the simple logic, surfer, and for reading. I appreciate it.
Thanks for reading and for the nice comments, rllngrk33. I appreciate them more than you know.
Perfect post, lilylangtree. Thanks for posting it. I appreciate it.
In order to extend abortion rights to include infants forced to be born prematurely, Obama sought through legislation blocking to remove Constitutional Rights from born alive infants; Barack Obama was seeking to defend a killing method which forced premature birth of alive infants, then killed these struggling to breathe little ones via purposed neglect so these compeltely separate from a woman's body infants eventually die via suffocation/exposure.
Barack Obama, working in the Illinois legislature, tried to cancel the Constitutional Human Rights of newborn children so long as a woman wanted an abortionist to kill that child. Obama tried to protect the murdering of these forced prematurely born children.
If the Constitution means nothing to you (it means little to Barack Obama), if the killing of alive just born and completely separated from their mother's body infants means nothing to you, then Barack Hussein Obama is your candidate. But you are the enemy of American Republic if that's your level of spiritual deadness.
Great post lilylangtree, I’m going to copy it and send it to a few people. It should be on it’s own thread.
Good stuff, MHG. Thanks for posting.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.