New York Governor Averts Panic

Give 'n Go ^ | 07/20/2008 | J. Martini

[joeystoy]

The horrifying images are in. The killer shark that has been terrorizing aquatic adventurers on Long Island has been vanquished. A team of marine rescue specialists, dispatched by Governor David Patterson who declared a state of emergency from Montauk to Lake Champlain, descended upon Zach's Bay and captured the man eater before disaster ensued.

EMS technicians arrived at the scene to treat panic-stricken bathers. Women screamed, children fainted, grown men cried in anguish at the sight of the monster.

Maria, a 37 year old mother from Flushing, was treated for "The Vapors" and expressed the horror experienced by everyone who witnessed the near carnage.

"For the rest of my life, everytime I take a drink of water or step into the shower I'll be haunted by the grisly images of what might have been."

[joeystoy]

No kidding. This woman had to be treated by EMS because she saw a three-foot baby shark.

[Conspiracy Guy]

“For the rest of my life, everytime I take a drink of water or step into the shower I’ll be haunted by the grisly images of what might have been.”

Beware of Toilet Sharks!!!

[dljordan]

“the vapors”

LOL! I thought that was just a Southern term. Haven’t heard it in years.

[Conspiracy Guy]

What is “The Vapors”? Is it excessive farting or what?

[JustaDumbBlonde]

Growing up in the South, I was always told that ‘the vapors’ was bad gas and that proper young ladies called it ‘the vapors’ as a way to excuse themselves from the room.

[KLFuchs]

New York Governor Averts Panic

He now has authorized an ample supply of toilet paper.

[Sacajaweau]

Guess she never saw Phsyco (sp?).

[autumnraine]

“The Vapors”? What is this? 1892?

[rabidralph]

‘80s rock band, but that’s not important now.

[Conspiracy Guy]

In Alabama older women say they had to fluff.

What’s up with that?

[Conspiracy Guy]

Were they so bad that you had to get treatment for them?

[JustaDumbBlonde]

"What’s up with that?"

Alabama is where I was raised and I've never heard 'fluff'. I wish I could make a phone call or two and find out but, unfortunately, all of my family elders are gone.

[theFIRMbss]

>proper young ladies called it ‘the vapors’ as a way to excuse themselves from the room
>In Alabama older women say they had to fluff

When I saw Queen live
(back when Freddie was alive)
they got to the part

where only Brian
and Freddie were on the stage.
Freddie announced that

Taylor and Deacon
had to leave the stage to get
dressing room BJs . . .

[Conspiracy Guy]

I wish I had never heard it too.

[Conspiracy Guy]

How refreshing that must have been.

[Dante3]

Having Patterson for governor is by itself cause for panic.

[CarolTX]

My understanding of “The Vapors” (and I had Olde-Line Southern Ladies as aunts, great-aunts, and my grandmother) is that the term goes back to the wearing of super-snug corsets.

(Just recall that scene where Scarlett O'Hara is getting laced up to wear her fancy hoop skirt to the party...ouch!)

Anyway, this apparatus pretty much cuts the woman in half, making it difficult to breathe...leading to light-headed sensations...see also “swooning”.
On the other end...the air is compressed...and...use your imagination...there you get your “fluffs”.

I also haven't heard this term in decades, and I sincerely hope this “Vaporing” woman gets someone to loosen her Stays.

[Conspiracy Guy]

LOL.

[Malone LaVeigh]

When I was growing up in NY, my parents used to take us to Jones Beach on the weekends. Zachs Bay, where this frightening confrontation took place, is a little cove where the water is shallow and calm and where most people with small children would come. It could get very crowded at times to where it was virtually SRO in the water.
When I was a little older, my brother and I explored a stone jetty at one end of the bay and discovered what appeared to be a shark nursery on the opposite side. There were dozens of small baby sharks swimming around. Most of them were less than 2 feet long. After we told our parents of our discovery, we never went back to Zachs Bay again.

[MarkT]

An archaic term for certain mental and / or physical states, such as hysteria, mania, clinical depression, bipolar disorder, fainting, mood swings or PMS, ascribed primarily to women and thought to be caused by internal emanations; see also female hysteria.