PING!
Merry Fitzmas! (first?)
DUer’s are so gullible....Rove is just $10 away from being indicted. Bush is just $200 away from being impeached.
Names are known - the authors who ‘faked’ their scoop and made up lie after lie. Kinda funny that they’re beating this with a stick, but hey, gives you another go at usin’ your graphic.
Top 10!
Stoo-pid rules. 3.79 GPA req'd for Cum Laude. (grumble, mumble, grumble)
(kidding)
By singing Fitzmas carols!
.
INDICT FITZMAS
Tune: "White Christmas"
I'm fixing to indict Fitzmas
Just 'cause it never seems to show.
With the networks massing
And hours passing,
I hear crickets chirping no.
I'm fixing to indict Fitzmas
With every angry post I write.
May our frogs start marching tonight,
Because all these Fitzmases aren't right!
.
IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE FITZMAS
Tune: "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas"
It's beginning to look a lot like Fitzmas
Never will arrive
We've been waiting since who knows when
We've missed it once again
So wake me when it's twenty twenty-five.
It's beginning to look a lot like Fitzmas
Won't include a Rove
'Cause it looks like his name's been shoved
To the very back burner of
The indictment stove.
A pair of federal counts with long prison amounts
Is the wish of goodboy and ben
Crowds that will gawk as he does a perp walk
Is the hope of Will Pitt and friends
The DUmmie Ants would love the chance to send Rove to the pen,
The DUmmie Ants would love the chance to send Rove to the pen!
It's beginning to look a lot like Fitzmas
Never will appear
Now the crew at the courthouse door
Is looking kind of bored
'Cause they've been there since earlier this year.
It's beginning to look a lot like Fitzmas
Comes in fits and starts
But the funniest thing of all
Are the hopes that rise and fall
In the DUmmies' hearts,
In the DUmmies' hearts!
.
FREUDENSCHADE
Tune: "Edelweiss"
Freudenschade, Freudenschade,
DUmmie joy bears repeating;
Pop champagne, feel no pain--
Only thing, it's so fleeting.
Make 'em eat crow and the gloom will grow,
Gloom will grow and sour.
Freudenschade shoots its wad
In less than twenty-four hours.
.
FREUDENSCHADESCHADENFREUDEFREUDENSCHADELICIOUS
Tune: "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"
Freudenschadeschadenfreudefreudenschadelicious:
Even though the sound of it is something quite pernicious,
If you see the DUmmie glee for things that are fictitious--
Freudenschadeschadenfreudefreudenschadelicious!
Because they wanted Rove to walk
Just like he was a frog,
You should have heard the DUmmies talk--
They read it in a blog!
But then their champagne bubble burst
Before they drank a lick;
They must be cursed to die of thirst
'Cause Fitzmas fizzled quick!
Freudenschadeschadenfreudefreudenschadelicious:
Even though the sound of it is something quite pernicious,
If you see the DUmmie glee for things that are fictitious--
Freudenschadeschadenfreudefreudenschadelicious!
So when the DUmmies celebrate
Some supersecret "news,"
Just summon up this word and wait,
You've got a term to use;
But you should practice saying it
As often as you speak:
The DUmmies fall for piles of Pitt
At least two times a week!
Freudenschadeschadenfreudefreudenschadelicious:
Even though the sound of it is something quite pernicious,
If you see the DUmmie glee for things that are fictitious--
Freudenschadeschadenfreudefreudenschadelicious!
.
THE TWENTY-FOUR (BUSINESS) HOURS OF FITZMAS
Tune: "The Twelve Days of Christmas"
On the twenty-fourth hour of Fitzmas
My truthout gave to me:
Twenty-four bonus hours
Twenty-three bogus sources
Twenty-two sealed indictments
Twenty-one new excitements
Twenty Leopolds leaping
Nineteen FReepers freeping
Eighteen crowded dockets
Seventeen Sonny Crocketts
Sixteen corks a-popping
Fifteen-hour meeting
Fourteen Freudenschades
Thirteen Pipers piping
Twelve DUmmies griping
Eleven Roves a-packing
Ten dollars lacking
Nine shots at Skinner
Eight crows for dinner
Seven crews amassing
Six days a-passing
Five LOUSY TROLLS!
Four Patton Boggs
Three fresh blogs
Two marching frogs
And a Pitt ribbed in a parody!
Considering that the "sources" were Leopold's and Pitt's fertile imaginations (and desire to get the credit for a "scoop" that they assumed was bound to turn out true), I'm not surprised such "sources" continue to be unnamed.
Leopold & Lib, especially Lib, have pretty much gone into a Witness Protection Program as far as providing any more Fitzmas Facts.
Don't you mean Witless Protection program?
Sorry, you'll have better luck waiting for Eight Belles to pony up.
The wisdom of Solomon led to Leopold & Lib being split in two.
Wayne Madsen
CALL ME UNACCEPTABLE
Tune: "Call Me Irresponsible"
Call me unacceptable
Call me unreliable
Throw in, "He's a fat tub of goo"
Do those Luskin alibis fool you?
Well, I checked the cat and I checked its stool too
Call me freighter-sinkable
Tell me I'm unlinkable
Wayne who's too insane for DU
Madsen, as in "mad as hell"
Throw in "raving mad" as well
I'm a certifiable loon
I'm Wayne, the Madsen who's mad times two
Nail Him to the White House Door.
May 12, 2006 . . . THE DAY WHEN EVERYTHING FINALLY CHANGED!
Leopold & Pitt, joined at the sh*t.
Those were the days, eh, Pitt? What are you now? truthoutofwork?
To quote a DUmmie: "Would Will Pitt be posting this if it wasn't true?"
After Pitt wrote this two years ago, he curiously became rather silent in backing up Leopold. He effectively threw Leopold under the bus.
Where does that leave Leopold? Singin' the blues . . .
BLUE FITZMAS
Tune: "Blue Christmas"
By Jason Leopold
I'll have a blue Fitzmas without news
I've got those Blew It Bigtime Truthout Blues
No indictments were read on that day back in May
Don't be dismayed, friends, it's just a slight delay
And when those cruel DUmmies start tauntin'
That's when those blue mem'ries start hauntin'
All DU may delight, with their critics so bright
But I'll have a blue, blue Fitzmas
I'll have a blue Fitzmas, that's no sh*t
When I could use backup, there's no Pitt
Former readers can turn and go on the attack
Don't look for help, though, if Will Pitt's got your back
And when those cruel DUmmies start tauntin'
That's when those blue mem'ries start hauntin'
All DU may delight, with their critics so bright
But I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Fitzmas