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DUmmie FUnnies 03-31-08 (Liberals Beg The Goracle To Save The Democrats)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | March 31, 2008 | Joe Klein, HUffies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 03/31/2008 6:27:32 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

The Democrats have a bigtime conundrum. Both of their leading candidates are unelectable in the general election in large part because of Hillary's decision to fight for the nomination to the bitter end...and possibly beyond. So how can the Democrats get themselves out of this lose-lose situation? By calling upon the Mighty Goracle to save them. At least that is the proposal of several leading liberals as you can see in this HUffington POst THREAD titled, "How Al Gore Could Save The Democrats." However, this presents several problems. Even if Al Gore accepts the nomination, this would only ENRAGE the Obama supporters, many of whom would sit on their hands in the general election. On top of that, the Mighty Goracle would want not only the nomination but the general election served up to him on a silver platter without any effort on his part since he believes it is owed to him. The great thing about the bind the Democrats have put themselves into is that there is now no easy solution. No Way Out as the movie title says. So let us now watch the HUffies struggle with the new problems posed by The Goracle solution in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, once again crediting Operation Chaos for the Gordian Knot the Democrats have wound themselves into, is in the [brackets]:

Buzz up!on Yahoo!With Democrats beginning to voice fears about a long summer of two candidates sniping over electability, the name of unofficial party elder Al Gore has resurfaced. Gore was tossed around early and often as a potential nominee, complete with his own grass roots recruiting party. However, the former Vice President and Nobel laureate assiduously avoided exhortations to run.

[The Goracle demands to be annointed, not run like a common candidate.]

Nevertheless, the Gore question is coming back. Joe Klein is the latest to make the case for Al Gore coming into the Democratic race in the case of a brokered convention:

[Save us, Oh Mighty Goracle!]

"Let's say the elders of the Democratic Party decide, when the primaries end, that neither Obama nor Clinton is viable. ... All they'd have to do would be to convince a significant fraction of their superdelegate friends, maybe fewer than 100, to announce that they were taking a pass on the first ballot at the Denver convention, which would deny the 2,025 votes necessary to Obama or Clinton. What if they then approached Gore and asked him to be the nominee, for the good of the party-and suggested that he take Obama as his running mate? ... A prominent fund raiser told me, 'Gore-Obama is the ticket a lot of people wanted in the first place.'"

[And Hillary is just going to stand on the sidelines and allow this to happen. Also I don't think Obama would be too happy to take the backseat as Veep candidate to The Goracle. Back to square one, Joe.]

Meanwhile, Jason Horowitz this week tried to outline the timing of a Gore endorsement:

[Did Jason first make a carbon credits offering first when presenting his outline?]

"If Gore were to weigh in, he would have to do so before the superdelegates begin breaking for either Obama or Clinton," said a former Gore adviser, after laying out the various scenarios that might prompt the former vice president to get involved. "The superdelegates constitute the last true contest in this race. And for many, Gore is someone they talk to, listen to, and whom a lot of them admire and respect. Having him make a closing argument for either candidate would carry significant weight with some of these last-man-standing voters."

[The Goracle weighs in at about 300 pounds.]

And earlier this week, Rep. Tim Mahoney (D-FL) suggested that Al Gore as an alternate coming out of a brokered convention:

[You mean Florida where the delegates were stripped of their seats thanx to Howard Dean? YEEEEEEEAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!]

"If it (the nomination process) goes into the convention, don't be surprised if someone different is at the top of the ticket," Mahoney said.

[I'm rooting for Mike Gravel as the dark horse candidate.]

A compromise candidate could be someone such as former vice president Al Gore, Mahoney said last week during a meeting with this news organization's editorial board. If either Clinton or Obama suggested to a deadlocked convention a ticket of Gore-Clinton or Gore-Obama, the Democratic Party would accept it, Mahoney said.

[And royally piss off about half the party. And now to hear from the HUffies on the possibility of The Mighty Goracle as their Savior...]

Considring Gore is wishful erroneous thinking that ain't going to happen.

[ManBearPig!]

Wheres this clown Gore been?

[Pitching carbon credits from his snake oil wagon.]

Now that the progressives have discovered their "Jesus" they don't want Al Gore stinking up their ticket!

[No crucification of the Obamassiah will be accepted which means NO veep slot for their beloved.]

If Howard Dean had an ounce of leadership capacity, he'd quash this non-sense post haste. This is a distraction, and provides the illusion of a possible solution. Reality check: Hillary will not step aside. Not for you, me, the media, fellow senators, voters, delegates, superdelegates, or anyone else. Dean should crawl out from under his desk and show some spine.

[YEEEEEAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!]

We need Al Gore to save the world more than the Democratic Party. If Al Gore would lead the Carbon Zero Project as Secretary of Energy he'd be doing both.

[Right now Al Gore is leading the Credibility Zero Project.]

Remember Tipper? She wanted to censor and ban Rock Music...

[Until The Goracle realized he needed recording industry contributions.]

I just don't see why Obama has to take a seat at the back of the bus after all the work he did. Why?

[Because of a massive screwup by Howard Dean. YEEEEEEAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!]

This would mean the hell with the first woman or the first African-American. The white man comes to the rescue. This brokered deal would be a major insult and would, I think, make the Democratic party look even more hypocritical than it already does.

[Bill Clinton was already the first Black president and the Breck Girl could serve as an alternative to Hillary.]

The Democrats are going to take Obama out and destroy the Party in the process.

[That means we should all hail the coming of The Mighty Goracle!]

we DRAFT GORE at the convention and give either Obama or Richardon the VP spot.

[HUEVOS RANCHEROS! I can never again see the name of Bill Ricardson (or Richardon) without thinking of huevos rancheros.]

Bull Crap he's to scared to stand up and be counted in this mess! Ain't even got the guts to say enough is enough and tell Hillary it's over alll ready and stop destroying the party! Ya, we can realllly count on Gore--Like we can count on Howard Dean to take a stand!

[YEEEEEAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!]

I think if Obama announced his VP choice now (Richardson - and yes, he speaks Spanish in response to another poster) and just acted like Clinton wasn't even there, that would go a long way towards convincing Dems of his inevitability and would stop this nonsense talk of coming up with someone to "give" the nomination to against the clearly stated preference of the majority of Dems.

[An egg is a premature chicken.]

It's time we grow up. It's time the Democratic party stand up and realize there needs to be a solution now. It can't be decided by the delegate count, so why make people go through the bitter battle that could certainly cause the country to continue sinking into the malaise that Moron-Boy

[There is no solution to the Democrat Gordian knot thanx to Operation Chaos.]

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HILLARY GET OUT!!!!!!!

[Nope.]

I'm an Obama supporter. And I'm not a fan of Clinton at all. But if Gore comes in and takes the presidential candidacy from either one of them, I will be so PISSED, I will never vote for another Democrat again. It either has to be Obama or Clinton. They've worked for 15 grueling months and Gore's done nothing to campaign. That's so pretentious of Klein--let the white guy come in and take it from the two minorities. Paternalism at its worse!

[The unsolvable Democrat Gordian knot.]

The mere suggestion of a GORE/OBAMA tickets gives me multiple orgasms.

[Multiple GoreBasms.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: algore; barackobama; gore2008; hillaryclinton; huffingtonpost
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To: LonePalm

“All they’d have to do would be to convince a significant fraction of their superdelegate friends, maybe fewer than 100, to announce that they were taking a pass on the first ballot at the Denver convention, which would deny the 2,025 votes necessary to Obama or Clinton.”

So gore will be SELECTED not ELECTED?? Is this some sort of bad joke?
I thought they wanted every vote to count...Are they saying that the Demorcrat process is not legit?


21 posted on 03/31/2008 6:58:21 AM PDT by Holicheese (Hillary deserves the CMoH for her time in Tuzla!)
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To: PJ-Comix

Hillary would take a bat to Algore’s kneecaps before she would allow him anywhere near Denver.


22 posted on 03/31/2008 6:59:18 AM PDT by TexasCajun
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To: PJ-Comix
Wheres this clown Gore been?

Well, he's been doing the Meaningless Award Ceremony Circuit, but he's hit just about every one of those, the tuxedo is due, so maybe he's ready to try something else.

23 posted on 03/31/2008 7:00:10 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (I've got Algoraphobia.)
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To: PJ-Comix

As thin a grasp as these dolts have on reality on a good day, they are going to all be complete basket-cases by November ;’}


24 posted on 03/31/2008 7:02:36 AM PDT by rockrr (Global warming is to science what Islam is to religion)
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To: PJ-Comix
they don't want Al Gore stinking up their ticket!

Algore, victim of Glandular Warming:


25 posted on 03/31/2008 7:08:02 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (I've got Algoraphobia.)
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To: PJ-Comix
they don't want Al Gore stinking up their ticket!

An Inconvenient Toot:


26 posted on 03/31/2008 7:11:39 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (I've got Algoraphobia.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Dean should crawl out from under his desk and show some spine.

"You rang?"

27 posted on 03/31/2008 7:17:46 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (I've got Algoraphobia.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Dean should crawl out from under his desk and show some spine.

"I happen to LIKE my desk!"


28 posted on 03/31/2008 7:20:48 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (I've got Algoraphobia.)
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To: PJ-Comix

I heard a rumor about this algoracle thing on talk radio the other day—that Dean would force Hillary and Ubama to fork over their delegates to algoracle somehow (not sure of the legality of such a thing, but that’s never stopped dimmies before!), then algoracle would make Ubama the veep, and Hill the Sec. of Defense, and Bill C. in charge of the UN....bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!

The dimmies are in some serious needs of medication—LOTS of medication, I think!! :-)

Someone pass the popcorn!! Can’t wait for the convention shenanigans and related ensuing hilarity!! ;-)


29 posted on 03/31/2008 7:20:52 AM PDT by pillut48 (CJ in TX --Soccer Mom and proud Rush Conservative with no dog in the presidential race now *sigh*)
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To: PJ-Comix

POpcorn. Beer. Pretzels. Nachos. Stock up, boys, the kickoff is coming. Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh


30 posted on 03/31/2008 7:26:16 AM PDT by chesley (Where's the omelet? -- Orwell)
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To: PJ-Comix
If Al Gore would lead the Carbon Zero Project. . . .

Al's busy with the Carbo Hydrate Project:


31 posted on 03/31/2008 7:26:56 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (I've got Algoraphobia.)
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To: PJ-Comix
he's too scared to stand up and be counted in this mess!

I can see why!


32 posted on 03/31/2008 7:32:32 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (I've got Algoraphobia.)
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To: PJ-Comix
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HILLARY GET OUT!!!!!!!

EBONY AND OVARY
Tune: "Ebony and Ivory" Original

Ebony and Ovary
In the gutter in every primary
Suicide when we hit November
D*mn her, Hillary!

We all know
That liberals are the same whatever their name
There's a Socialist
In every one
But they sling the mud
When they have to face each other
When they need to attack
They lay down the smack

Ebony and Ovary
In the gutter in every primary
Suicide when we hit November
D*mn her, Hillary!

Ebony, Ovary, fighting in every primary
Ebony, Ovary . . .

We all know
That liberals are the same whatever their name
There's a Socialist
In every one
But they sling the mud
When they have to face each other
When they need to attack
They lay down the smack

Ebony and Ovary
In the gutter in every primary
Suicide when we hit November
D*mn her, Hillary!
Suicide when we hit November
D*mn her, Hillary!

Ebony, Ovary, fighting in every primary . . .

33 posted on 03/31/2008 7:36:23 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The wag tailoring the doggerel)
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To: PJ-Comix
The mere suggestion of a GORE/OBAMA tickets gives me multiple orgasms.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I LOVE HIM
(From the musical, "Barack Obama Superstar")
Tune: "I Don't Know How to Love Him"

I don't know why I love him,
My Barack, my Obama;
I've been charmed, yes really charmed,
By his trim physique, so slim and sleek--
I'm awed by his mystique.

I don't know why he's running,
I don't see any substance;
No real plan, flash in the pan,
And I've heard such empty words before
That when I close my eyes
He's just a bore.

But I like his face,
And I like his voice;
Makes my heartbeat race!
Makes me feel all moist!
I never thought I'd come to this:
Obama is my choice.

Don't you think it's rather shallow
I should vote for this fellow?
I'm the one who's always been
So pure, so pissed, so feminist;
I don't need men, oh no--
He scares me so.

But I like his face,
And I like his voice;
Makes my heartbeat race!
Makes me feel all moist!
I never thought I'd come to this:
Obama is my choice.

Yet, like in a romance novel,
I'm in love with a male model;
I've got to look! He signed my book!
My heart runs wild! I'll bear his child!
I want the world to know:
He's my "Big O"!
Obama, go!
I love you so!

34 posted on 03/31/2008 7:39:27 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The wag tailoring the doggerel)
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To: Holicheese
So gore will be SELECTED not ELECTED??

They'll TRY to draft Algore, but they'll pick Pat Buchanan by mistake.

35 posted on 03/31/2008 7:52:01 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson ("The Palm Beach Pokey" revisited.)
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To: PJ-Comix; All
Related to this topic, you'll all doubtless find this one similarly entertaining: If Hillary or Obama Lose to McCain, Who Will You Blame?

;)

36 posted on 03/31/2008 8:09:41 AM PDT by KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle (McCain "conservatives" = hardcore liberals who nonetheless appreciate the occasional tax cut.)
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To: PJ-Comix

That’s so pretentious of Klein—let the white guy come in and take it from the two minorities. Paternalism at its worse!

Aren’t women a majority in the United States? How then can the Shebi*ch be considered a minority when she is a woman ( in theory) and white?


37 posted on 03/31/2008 8:41:24 AM PDT by Dmitry Vukicevich (Pray for the Serbs because even Bush believes the idiocy.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Its because the Bush Administration made them use those damn butterfly ballots again.


38 posted on 03/31/2008 9:03:07 AM PDT by Holicheese (Hillary deserves the CMoH for her time in Tuzla!)
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To: PJ-Comix
The hilarous thing is at this point, if anyone but BHO gets the nomination, his loyalists completely sit out. That includes the Chicago machine, so say goodbye to Illinois, Dems.

-Eric

39 posted on 03/31/2008 9:36:13 AM PDT by E Rocc (Resident smartass and Myspace Freepers group moderator. (http://groups.myspace.com/freepers))
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To: PJ-Comix

Please remove me from Ping list.
Thank you.

:)


40 posted on 03/31/2008 9:56:41 AM PDT by snarkytart
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