DUmmie FUnnies 03-23-08 ("Obama: The Biblical Prophecy")

It's Easter Sunday and the DUmmies are worshipping their messiah: Barack Obama. I kid you not. Normally atheists, agnostics, or Gaia worshippers, the DUmmies have suddently become devout Bible believers as you can see in this THREAD reverently titled, "Obama: The Biblical Prophecy." Or at least they PRETEND to be devout believers but only because they think they can fool people into worshipping/electing the ONE. However, before we begin our Obama bible study, let us now get ourselves in the proper reverent mood with this Charles Henrickson song called "I Don't Know Why I Love Him" from the musical play Barack Obama Superstar sung to the tune of I Don't Know How to Love Him:

I don't know why I love him,
My Barack, my Obama;
I've been charmed, yes really charmed,
By his trim physique, so slim and sleek--
I'm awed by his mystique.

I don't know why he's running,
I don't see any substance;
No real plan, flash in the pan,
And I've heard such empty words before
That when I close my eyes
He's just a bore.

But I like his face,
And I like his voice;
Makes my heartbeat race!
Makes me feel all moist!
I never thought I'd come to this:
Obama is my choice.

Don't you think it's rather shallow
I should vote for this fellow?
I'm the one who's always been
So pure, so pissed, so feminist;
I don't need men, oh no--
He scares me so.

But I like his face,
And I like his voice;
Makes my heartbeat race!
Makes me feel all moist!
I never thought I'd come to this:
Obama is my choice.

Yet, like in a romance novel,
I'm in love with a male model;
I've got to look!.He signed my book!
My heart runs wild! I'll bear his child!
I want the world to know:
He's my "Big O"!
Obama, go!
I love you so!

Now that you are in the proper mood, let us all watch the DUmmies worship their Obamassiah in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thumbing through the Bible to find the Book of Obama, is in the [brackets]:

"I gave the following article to Senator Barak Obama and his wife the week after his announcement in order to encourage them and to strengthen his faith in God’s Providence. But because of the nature of the prophecy, I could not make it public."

"I am moved by the Holy Spirit that now is the time for African American Pastors across South Carolina and the South to be made aware that this is more than History."

"Please be kind enough to read and then disseminate . . . and may God defend the right!"

SONS OF ISSACHAR
A Biblical Rationale for the Presidential Campaign of Barak Obama by
Kenneth R. Adderley, Ph.D., M.Div., M.A.
Professor of Religion & Theology
Bethsaida Bible Institute

The devil hit us with Osama,
But God raised up Obama,
The devil hastily made a death-launching push
By stealing elections and approving Bush,
But God, whose Will is not slack,
Remembered the prophecy and raised up Barak.

[I just checked the online King James and New International versions but didn't catch that Obama reference in either. Perhaps there is a DUmmie Version that I am unaware of?]

1. The next time the Bible mentions Issachar is when he moved from being a slave to becoming a soldier.

2. God’s people were fighting for their lives, and God moved upon Deborah, a prophetess and a judge (counselor) in Israel to go to Barak (same name) and encourage him to lead the fight to save the nation and the people.

3. Barak hesitated (Judges 4:8) but agreed to go if God’s prophetess would go with him to battle.

[Too bad God's prophetess isn't named Michelle. Perhaps you can rewrite that part as well.]

No worries Obama supporters. Nancy Pelosi, who is running the Convention in Denver, founded the Democratic "Christian Coalition". Obama is the ONE. HE has been chosen to bring more Evangelical Voters to the flock. To see the way. Can I get an Amen?

[The ONE? Aren't you getting The Matrix mixed up with the Bible? Only a DUmmie would think this faux theology will get Evangelical voters to support Obama. However, let us now watch the DUmmies worship the ONE...]

This sort of thing is very damaging with religious others who disagree with a coronation of a "ONE".

All of these revelations coming at us externally = VERY creepy stuff. Truth has an internal private ground. Trying to graft this of that onto it, for whatever "good" reasons, has historically resulted in many abominations.

You can dismiss this post as just the crazy ramblings of an internets tubes poster, but it IS where the Democratic Party wants to go.

He is Morpheus, we are Neo, "I'm trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door."

[I'm still trying to free my mind from the memory of that horrible sequel, The Matrix Reloaded which Al Gore REVIEWED.]

Saying that they are trying to create a Messiah is not fair. There are religious Democrats.

not into anyone that sees themselves as an instrument of God certainly not to build his kingdom on earth as POTUS. Wonder what his plan is for those he deems 'divisive' from his policies. May we never find out.

[The plan is to send them into Purgatory but only if the ONE is in a good mood.]

Your assertion that Obama is the "One" in a religious sense just makes me want to puke. I don't want a preacher president and neither should you. It goes against the very foundations of our democracy! Get a grip, man, Obama is not the be all to end all, he's just another politician!!

I saw a website that proved with scripture that he is the anti-Christ. Should I take that seriously?

HILLARY SUPERSTAR ON YOUTUBE

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DFU SONG: Jesus Christ Superstar (Hillary campaign song - HILLARY SUPERSTAR)
DFU News of the Day in Song ^ | 5-2007 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland

Posted on 05/28/2007 11:27:39 AM PDT by doug from upland

MIDI - JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR

Hillary, you're the Superstar
And the Second Coming is what you are

They complain about your voice that's driving them mad
By evil right wingers for years we've all been had
We will drink your Kool-Aide if you tell us we must
On our money it's gonna say IN HILLARY WE TRUST
Those who don't participate in your adoration
Soon will find they're in a place for their re-education

You go, Hillary...they are gonna see
You go, Hillary...you can count on me
You go, Hillary...they are gonna see
You go, Hillary...you can count on me

Hillary Superstar
The Second Coming is what you are
Hillary Superstar
We'll worship you as a modern czar

You will have the power with the stroke of a pen
They will learn that they dare not oppose you again
You have always helped us, every chance that you could
You will take all their money, cause it's for the common good
Those who don't participate in your adoration
Soon will find they're in a place for their re-education

You go, Hillary...they are gonna see
You go, Hillary...you can count on me
You go, Hillary...they are gonna see
You go, Hillary...you can count on me

Hillary Superstar
The Second Coming is what you are
Hillary Superstar
We'll worship you as a modern czar

Hillary Superstar
The Second Coming is what you are

Barak’s Victory (Judges 4: 3-5:15)

Let's check what the Good Book says:

Judges 4:3-5:15 (New International Version)

3 Because he had nine hundred iron chariots and had cruelly oppressed the Israelites for twenty years, they cried to the LORD for help.
4 Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lappidoth, was leading ^[a] Israel at that time. 5 She held court under the Palm of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in the hill country of Ephraim, and the Israelites came to her to have their disputes decided. 6 She sent for Barak son of Abinoam from Kedesh in Naphtali and said to him, "The LORD, the God of Israel, commands you: 'Go, take with you ten thousand men of Naphtali and Zebulun and lead the way to Mount Tabor. 7 I will lure Sisera, the commander of Jabin's army, with his chariots and his troops to the Kishon River and give him into your hands.' "
8 Barak said to her, "If you go with me, I will go; but if you don't go with me, I won't go."
9 "Very well," Deborah said, "I will go with you. But because of the way you are going about this, ^[b] the honor will not be yours, for the LORD will hand Sisera over to a woman." So Deborah went with Barak to Kedesh, 10 where he summoned Zebulun and Naphtali. Ten thousand men followed him, and Deborah also went with him.
11 Now Heber the Kenite had left the other Kenites, the descendants of Hobab, Moses' brother-in-law, ^[c] and pitched his tent by the great tree in Zaanannim near Kedesh.
12 When they told Sisera that Barak son of Abinoam had gone up to Mount Tabor, 13 Sisera gathered together his nine hundred iron chariots and all the men with him, from Harosheth Haggoyim to the Kishon River.
14 Then Deborah said to Barak, "Go! This is the day the LORD has given Sisera into your hands. Has not the LORD gone ahead of you?" So Barak went down Mount Tabor, followed by ten thousand men. 15 At Barak's advance, the LORD routed Sisera and all his chariots and army by the sword, and Sisera abandoned his chariot and fled on foot. 16 But Barak pursued the chariots and army as far as Harosheth Haggoyim. All the troops of Sisera fell by the sword; not a man was left.
17 Sisera, however, fled on foot to the tent of Jael, the wife of Heber the Kenite, because there were friendly relations between Jabin king of Hazor and the clan of Heber the Kenite.
18 Jael went out to meet Sisera and said to him, "Come, my Lord , come right in. Don't be afraid." So he entered her tent, and she put a covering over him.
19 "I'm thirsty," he said. "Please give me some water." She opened a skin of milk, gave him a drink, and covered him up.
20 "Stand in the doorway of the tent," he told her. "If someone comes by and asks you, 'Is anyone here?' say 'No.' "
21 But Jael, Heber's wife, picked up a tent peg and a hammer and went quietly to him while he lay fast asleep, exhausted. She drove the peg through his temple into the ground, and he died.
22 Barak came by in pursuit of Sisera, and Jael went out to meet him. "Come," she said, "I will show you the man you're looking for." So he went in with her, and there lay Sisera with the tent peg through his temple-dead.
23 On that day God subdued Jabin, the Canaanite king, before the Israelites. 24 And the hand of the Israelites grew stronger and stronger against Jabin, the Canaanite king, until they destroyed him.
Judges 5

The Song of Deborah
1 On that day Deborah and Barak son of Abinoam sang this song:
2 "When the princes in Israel take the lead,
       when the people willingly offer themselves—
       praise the LORD!
3 "Hear this, you kings! Listen, you rulers!
       I will sing to ^[d] the LORD, I will sing;
       I will make music to ^[e] the LORD, the God of Israel.
4 "O LORD, when you went out from Seir,
       when you marched from the land of Edom,
       the earth shook, the heavens poured,
       the clouds poured down water.
5 The mountains quaked before the LORD, the One of Sinai,
       before the LORD, the God of Israel.
6 "In the days of Shamgar son of Anath,
       in the days of Jael, the roads were abandoned;
       travelers took to winding paths.
7 Village life ^[f] in Israel ceased,
       ceased until I, ^[g] Deborah, arose,
       arose a mother in Israel.
8 When they chose new gods,
       war came to the city gates,
       and not a shield or spear was seen
       among forty thousand in Israel.
9 My heart is with Israel's princes,
       with the willing volunteers among the people.
       Praise the LORD!
10 "You who ride on white donkeys,
       sitting on your saddle blankets,
       and you who walk along the road,
       consider 11 the voice of the singers ^[h] at the watering places.
       They recite the righteous acts of the LORD,
       the righteous acts of his warriors ^[i] in Israel.
       "Then the people of the LORD
       went down to the city gates.
12 'Wake up, wake up, Deborah!
       Wake up, wake up, break out in song!
       Arise, O Barak!
       Take captive your captives, O son of Abinoam.'
13 "Then the men who were left
       came down to the nobles;
       the people of the LORD
       came to me with the mighty.
14 Some came from Ephraim, whose roots were in Amalek;
       Benjamin was with the people who followed you.
       From Makir captains came down,
       from Zebulun those who bear a commander's staff.
15 The princes of Issachar were with Deborah;
       yes, Issachar was with Barak,
       rushing after him into the valley.
       In the districts of Reuben
       there was much searching of heart.

Seems to me the Verse 4:9 indicates that HILLARY!!! is going to win it, if we read it the same way the DUmmies read it.

Welcome your new messiah, folks!

HELLO DADDY, HELLO MAMA (A Letter from Camp Obama)
Tune: "Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh (A Letter from Camp)" Original

Hello Daddy
Hello Mama
Here I am at
Camp Obama
Camp's as pretty
As a painting
And they say we'll have some fun if we stop fainting

Our Barack has
Gifts of healing
Stevie Wonder's
Out four-wheeling
I met Oprah
Over dinner
Since she's been here she's got thirteen inches thinner

All the campers
Drink the Kool-Aid
That the counselors
At the school made
This is change we
Can believe in
'Cause the campers who come in here won't be leavin'

Now I just thought
I should buy ya
A small bust of
Our Messiah
You can put it
On your dashboard
It will guide and guard your car so it won't crash more

Yes we can!
Oh Daddy, Mama!
Yes we can!
I love Obama!
Don't tell me
I ought to find out facts
Of how
He plans to spend and tax

Yes we can!
I promise he will
Heal the holes
That cause the problems
In our souls
Oh please don't make me say
Just how--
He'll find a way

Got to stop now
Looks like we're through
Camp Obama
Has a curfew
Every day it's
Early rising
After "Washing of the Brains" it's "Plagiarizing"

Wait a minute
What's this gabbin'
Two new campers
In our cabin
See their nametags
Read the printin'
Seems the campers' names are Bill and Chelsea Clinton!

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