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Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows
http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^ | William M Briggs

Posted on 01/31/2008 3:36:33 PM PST by mattstat

A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”

Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”

The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: allyourzotrbelong2us; callingartbell; globalwarming; molassesmiasma; monkeyfacerules; undead; undeadthread; zombies; zotemifyougotem
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To: sionnsar

Ready!


2,221 posted on 02/29/2008 8:13:12 AM PST by Conspiracy Guy (I voted Republican because no Conservatives were running.)
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To: Conspiracy Guy

Ready? We’re there already!


2,222 posted on 02/29/2008 8:14:03 AM PST by sionnsar (trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
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2,223 posted on 02/29/2008 8:14:41 AM PST by rottndog (When are we gonna have a Leap Century???)
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To: sionnsar

Heck. I’ve been away too long.


2,224 posted on 02/29/2008 8:17:38 AM PST by Conspiracy Guy (I voted Republican because no Conservatives were running.)
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To: Darksheare
When I need some dark, descriptive prose to describe anything I calling on you, Darks. You have a way with words that sends the appropriate chill up my spine. Tis better than a thrill up Chris Matthews' leg...LOL
2,225 posted on 02/29/2008 5:52:12 PM PST by callisto (CONGRESS.SYS corrupted...Re-boot Washington DC (Y/N)?)
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To: NonLinear

Hey, where did everybody go?


2,226 posted on 02/29/2008 6:48:37 PM PST by NonLinear (McCain: Hey, he is only 85% bad instead of 100% like the other guys!)
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To: NonLinear

We have new digs! Link at post 2219.


2,227 posted on 02/29/2008 6:49:48 PM PST by Not A Snowbird (Some people are like slinkys, the idea of them tumbling down a flight of stairs makes you smile.)
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To: SandyInSeattle

How did you know I wasn’t a zombie, just pretending to be lost?


2,228 posted on 02/29/2008 7:06:01 PM PST by NonLinear (McCain: Hey, he is only 85% bad instead of 100% like the other guys!)
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To: NonLinear
Wow, I never thought of that. How do we know we aren't all zombies?
2,229 posted on 03/01/2008 7:37:50 AM PST by Not A Snowbird (Some people are like slinkys, the idea of them tumbling down a flight of stairs makes you smile.)
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To: sionnsar

OMG, I have been on FR for nearly 10 years and I had no idea this thread existed. I guess this is going to cost me some time to read through it. If there is an undead ping list please put me on it.


2,230 posted on 04/10/2008 2:48:20 PM PDT by Mycroft Holmes (Fnord!)
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