Posted on 08/30/2007 9:53:44 AM PDT by Digital Disaster
My Exclusive Interview With Senator Craig
Boise, Idaho - Since reports of Sen. Larry Craig's (R-ID) arrest and guilty plea in connection with a gay sex sting, he has been in seclusion. Now Sen. Craig has agreed to discuss the incident exclusively with Scooter's Report:
SR: Thank you for taking time out of your formally busy schedule to talk with us, Senator.
Craig: You're welcome Scooter, it's my pleasure to set this story straight with the American public.
SR: Okay, let's discuss what happened at the Minneapolis airport last June 11.
Craig: Well, I was traveling and had the sudden urge to "drop the kids off at the pool."
SR: So you needed to number two?
Craig: Yes. So I went into the men's restroom and entered a stall.
SR: Senator, what about the reports you peered into the stall where the officer was?
Craig: I did briefly check the adjoining stall for terrorists, as I think anybody would. The Homeland Security Advisory System Threat Level was "Yellow: significant threat of terrorist attack."
SR: Understood. So you sat down on the toilet in your stall, then what happened?
Craig: I did my business.
SR: The arresting officer said you tapped you foot, then slid it under the partition, touching his foot.
Craig: Look, I've got a medical condition that I've been trying to keep private. I have "Jimmy legs."
SR: Spastic jumpy legs you can't control?
Craig: Yes. I've got an especially bad case of Jimmy legs, and sometimes they go all over the place and I can't do anything about it.
SR: And did you wave your hand under the stall partition?
Craig: It was more like attempting to fan fresh air into my stall, I was dying in there. I knew I shouldn't had all those oyster/bean burritos and beers the night before.
SR: So you were fanning, not groping?
Craig: Yes, fart fanning.
SR: Senator, please move your foot.
Craig: Damn these Jimmy legs!
SR: Senator, please stop.
Craig: Oh no, now I've got Jimmy hands!
SR: This interview is over.
Well, he makes a lot more sense in that interview than he did yesterday.
Worthy of Scott Ott! :-)
“Jimmy legs”, LOL!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.