WIPE OUT GLOBAL WARMING: CROW PROPOSES LIMITS ON TOILET PAPER - It's NOT satire

washingtonpost ^ | 4/23/07 | GeorgiaDawg32

[GeorgiaDawg32]

Crow (4/19, Springfield, Tenn.): I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.

[KosmicKitty]

Well, I wouldn’t want to shake her hand!

[Tuba Guy]

"The proles will get their one-sheet-per-visit and like it, once I regain my seat of power !!"

[BuffaloJack]

More wisdom from a wittless skank with a serious hygene problem.

[GnL]

This creates a real dilemma for me. I was recently trying to use more toilet paper because I was told a couple weeks ago that too many trees in the north were causing global warming. I was just trying to do my part, and now this.

[Prophet in the wilderness]

“I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.” that means more skid marks, and that leads to more use of washing machines, and phosphorous or what ever is in the laundry detergent in the water, yeah, these people are really smart, create one problem that leads to another.

[Drango]

The joke seems to be on the WaPost. Why give blog space to this twaddle?

[Past Your Eyes]

"Truly, it was one of the most challenging 20 minutes of my life."

Oh, the poor THING. She's used to everybody just fawning all over her and hanging on her every word. Hey, bitch. Just shut up and sing.

[Prophet in the wilderness]

" subject to the whims of what the left-wing globull Nazis deem is acceptable " it's already beginning, The Jessy Sharpton morality train coming to a Corporation or easy prey shakedown to your neighborhood ( or should I say " Hood " ).
Now we have to get the blessings of Jessy/Sharpton express to say anything in this country, free speech has been outlaw for the whities.

[BuffaloJack]

If a cop writes you a toilet paper use ticker, it just mens that he sympathizes with you and is offering you more paper.

[BufordP]

Global Warming (and Dirty Butt) ping.

[BuffaloJack]

This would explain why she scratches her butt so freqently.

[Recon Dad]

As a professional in this field she should picket Kimberly Clark because they are the only major producer still using virgin fiber in their product. The rest recycle.

As an expert one square won’t cut it!

[traditional1]

"they really are desperate to sell newspapers.

Well, from fishwrapper use to ass-wiping use, is probably a more politically-correct AND abjective use of newspapers, IMHO......

[traditional1]

I’m surprised she didn’t suggest using both sides of the toilet paper to conserve....

[Diogenesis]

Idiotic unscientific, inaccurate, groundless comments, alarmistic rants, and evasion on questioning, of these two discussed here.

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"Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating.
One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen.
I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.
Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights,
but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with
only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.
When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who's judgment I trust implicitly,
he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, "how bout just washing the one square out."

[Syntyr]

“Or you could just use the paper inserts from her CDs. If you bothered to buy any.”

Naww I say we all start shipping her the cardboard tubes from our empty toilet paper rolls...

[baltoga]

I like the ‘greenest’ contest to include a couple of homeless people. They would definitely have a ‘toilet paper’ advantage.

Now here’s another observation is the whole “Global Warming” movement a “rich white feel good” cult? I mean I don’t see any brothers or latinos touting all this stuff. Why exclude Lil Wayne?

[Coldwater Creek]

I believe that she said it. In her part of the country, corn cobs are stacked neatly in the outhouse.

[sportutegrl]

Paper is a renewable resource. It is also biodegradable. Does she even know what that means? My brothers work at Georgia Pacific. They provide good jobs for good pay. GP owns so much land that they never run out of trees for paper. I have hunted on GP land. They will let you hunt and camp on their land for free, if you ask. Has this woman ever been to Louisiana and seen the pine trees?

[Coldwater Creek]

Why bother with the facts?