Posted on 03/28/2007 5:06:24 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
Every once in awhile, the residents of my DUmmie Ant Farm stop in the middle of their Leftwing Circular Mill and suddenly notice that they are being watched. And what they see makes them VERY self concious. As is typical in this DUmmie THREAD, they are outraged because they are being quoted word for word accurately for all to laugh at. This seems to be typical among those of the Leftwing Loony persuasion nowadays. Their attitude is "How dare you quote what we actually say!!!" Sorry, but Copy and Paste is the secret of the DUmmie FUnnies success. We accurately quote you to maximize the laughs. We just can't make up this priceless comedy material. As a special bonus, we even have a cameo appearance by Pied Piper Pitt's mother, DUmmie Raven, in this thread. So let us now watch the DUmmies watch us in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thanking the DUmmies for the many laughs, is in the [brackets]:
I can't figure out the problem the freeps have with these DU threads.
[No problem at all. We just like to harvest your material for laughs.]
I read both of them and I honestly can't figure out why they honed in on these particular threads. Maybe they don't like a celebrity encounter? Perhaps it's something personal? Oh wait...most of it is vaguely homophobic.
[As chronicled in yesterday's EDITION of the DUmmie FUnnies, there is something very FUnnie in Will "I'm where celebrity worship goes to die" Pitt's desperate groupie-like attempts to hit on Kevin Spacey.]
I'd say they're rabidly jealous of Mr. Pitt.
[Yeah. I'm green with envy. Pitt actually got to TOUCH Kevin Spacey. OMG!!!]
They hate Hollyweird
[Why should I hate Hollyweird when they provide such great DUFU material?]
The Freepers are so bereft of imagination, if they couldn't pull OUR threads and attack US, they'd have nothing to post. True! They live to attack and hate "the other." You and me, dear fellow DUers, are the reason for their angst as well as motivation for them to carry on with their seemingly miserable existence, i.e., self righteousness and condemnation of all others unlike themselves. We are very special to these troglodytes known as "The Freepers."
[Yes, you are special to us. An ENDLESS source of comedy material.]
Bukowskis rocks by the way
[But it doesn't sound like a great place to pick up chicks.]
Wow...I think I need to take a shower. I don't usually go to Free Republic because it feels like descending into a sewer. I must say, I'm amazed they they seem so obsessed with Will but they don't seem to want to tackle him on the important stuff...just a kind of fun account of a meeting with Kevin Spacey...and yet the venom is really shocking, way over the top considering that Will's post on Spacey was harmless. The personal stuff that they spew about my son is upsetting to me although it is an indication that they can't stay out of the gutter and don't have the mental wherewithall to debate him on the facts and on the things that really matter. I guess I should be happy that he can get these pond scums so agitated.
[And that was Pied Piper Pitt's mother aka Raven. So Raven, or let me call you Mom, the reason why we seemed "obsessed" with Will is that he provides us with the BEST comedy material. Whether it is his prediction that Karl Rove had already been indicted on May 12 or his Midnight Cowboy outfit trip to Texas where he got chewed up by fireants or his overlong geopolitical treatise in which he claims that the "Third American Empire" was born at the 1980 Winter Olympics when inflamed nationalistic fans screamed "USA! USA!", Pitt is an endless source for material. And whenever he runs out of the comedy material, we never have to wait more than 24 business hours for more.]
The Spacey part was just a frame of the bigger point It's an interesting detail but it was more about The whole Devil exists and how to define it. I noticed how they just ignore the metaphor and message completely.
[Yes the segue from Spacey worship to an overlong pontificating treatise on Eisenhower's Farewell Address.]
You'd be jealous, too, if your closest encounter to fame was rubbing against the Nuge's loincloth
[Pitt's closet encounter to fame was rubbing against Keyser Soze's loincloth.]
what do they have? culturally?? other than Toby Keith? I wonder what music these people listen to or what films they watch? For instance, do they EVER see stand-up comedy?? They have nowhere to turn because EVERYONE disagrees with them and they hate it. All they can do is make gay jokes or talk about how fat Al Gore is and really can't help but watch Jon Stewart and Colbert.
[We don't listen to music. Ever. Just ask Freeper Charles Henrickson.]
I would actually love to go toe to toe with a DUmmie. Fact of the matter is that when you begin to debate one of them over there, you get tombstoned. And yes, we do ZOT them over here. Perhaps we could find some neutral ground site where both sides can debate freely, no banning. Might make for good TV entertainment. DUmmie vs Freeper. A topic for debate is chosen and then each side chooses one of their own to go into the ring.
Personally, I've got Miles Davis, Chick Corea, Herbie Hancock, Boney James, Diane Schuur, Tierney Sutton, Dave Weckl, Dennis Chambers, Eliane Elias, Diana Krall, Grover Washington, Basie, Ellington, Dizzy Gillespie, Ron Holloway, Motown, Stax, Tower Of Power, Gerald Veasley, Kirk Whalum, Brecker Brothers, Joe Henderson, Ella Fitzgerald, Sarah Vaughan, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Jimmie Vaughan, Chet Baker, Stan Getz, Marc Johnson, the Marsalis family, BB Albert & Freddy King, Horace Silver, Diann Reeves, Rick Braun, Sade, Urban Knights, Joe Sample, Kenny Burrell, Joey DeFrancesco......
Usually in DU it's sitting-in-front-of-my-Mom's-computer-eating-a-stack-of-Twinkies-while-I-commiserate-on-DU comedy....
Oh, and for the record DUmbass lurkers, I hate country music, I frequent stand-up comedy and gasp, even opera and musical theater.. (hell, my wife and I flew to San Francisco just to catch a show (Ann Rice's Lestat) and fly back on the red-eye.)
Does a bear doo-doo in the woods?
As I stated before, I HATE country music. Mostly I listen to Gothic Alternative Metal, Punk (classic Sex Pistols, Ramones, Clash, Germs, etc), Jazz and Classical. My movie tastes range from cult horror to deeper esoteric films like Pi.
DUmbasses- Challenge your Assumptions!
As for movies and culture, lets see, what movie is the most popular so far this year, oh yeah, thats right, the vaguely homoerotic and yet essentially right wing "300". Lets think about the most popular movies of most any year, the majority of them, if not the VAST majority of them, are CONSERVATIVE. Stoopid DUmmies, if it didn't do well in a bath,er, I mean art-house, it must not be real culture...
Great analogy!
Although I don't have all those, I'd add Sinatra, Sarah Vaughan, Mel Torme, Joe Williams, Billy Eckstine, Lester Young, Louis Armstrong, Lena Horne, Peggy Lee, Coleman Hawkins, Bobby Hackett, Jack Teagarden, Eddie Condon, Tony Bennett...the list goes on.
I doubt Raven, et al, have a clue as to who many of these people are, or their gift to music.
Mother Pitt, I hate to break it to you, but I think there's something your little Willie hasn't told you . . .
Also, note the multi-hued flag hanging behind the Midnight Cowboy's head:
The DUmmie FUnnies are only a small portion of all the threads on FR. The FUnniest feature on FR, to be sure, but if you browse the forums you will find hundreds of other threads.
Mother Pitt, we must THANK YOU for gifting us with your bloviating boy. He is the proverbial Pitt of GOLD--COMEDY gold--at the end of the rainbow! The Adventures of Wee Willie have been our most constantly amusing source of mirth and satire here on the DUFUs!
OK, if we couldn't pull DU threads we wouldn't have anything else except Anna Nicole, Rudy Guilanni and Ann Coulter to post about.
Toby who? As I've said several times on this forum, I don't like country music, NASCAR, pickup trucks, or hunting. I'm a northern, urban, coffeeshops-and-museums kind of guy. I actually agree with Will Pitt in liking the movie, "Usual Suspects," and the work of Kevin Spacey (except for the dreadfully depressing "American Beauty"). As to comics, I was raised on Jewish comedy of the '50s and '60s.
I probably would enjoy sitting down at a bar with Will Pitt to drink a couple beers and talk baseball. But once he starts bloviating about politics, I'm outta there (if I don't fall asleep first).
I've done a number of Pitt parodies over the last couple years, including this one:
EVERYBODY'S TALKIN' 'BOUT ME
Tune: "Everybody's Talkin' at Me"
By Will "Midnight Cowboy" Pitt
Everybody's talkin' 'bout me
I don't hear a word they're sayin'
Only the hands held on my ears
People mock and laughin'
I can't see their faces
'Specially in case I disappear
I'm goin' where I stand with Sheehan
In a roadside ditch
Goin' where the weather suits my clothes
Headin' off to my happy place
Even if in my mind
And skippin' over the dancepad in my home
There are SO MANY magical moments with Wee Willie! The Andy betrayal . . . THE DAY WHEN EVERYTHING FINALLY CHANGED . . . standing in the ditch with Mother Sheehan . . . Ty the Bouncer . . . the Fitzmas scoop . . . the trip to Mommy's cabin in the woods . . . "In Case I Disappear" . . . the pompous, self-absorbed essays . . . the many self-recantations . . . "It's all about Will" . . . the struggle to maintain his Pied Piper status in DUmmieland . . . the list goes on and on! Will Pitt truly is "the magic man"!
Here's a thought for you. "Mr Will Pittiful" sung to the tune of Mr Bojangles.
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