Am I the Only Male Freeper Who Wears a Fanny Pack? (Why the anti-Fanny Pack Hostility?)

Self | July 16, 2006 | PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

The other day I started a thread asking what everybody's Linus-blanket type obsession is. Mine is that I feel completely insecure outside unless I am wearing my fanny pack. Okay a few folks admitted what their neurotic security blankets were BUT I caught a lot of flak for even wearing a fanny pack. Even on my DUmmie FUnnies thread I was the target of mockery for wearing a fanny pack.

The fact is that fanny packs are INCREDIBLY practical. It is the PERFECT place to stow away your money, sunglasses, cell phones, pens, dental floss, knives, radios, etc. when you are away from home. MUCH BETTER than pockets since your pockets will bulge with all that stuff in them plus you merely need to grab your fanny pack when you go out the door and everything you need is already packed away in there.

So why the HOSTILITY to fanny packs? My theory is that one big reason for the anti-Fanny Pack bias is the name. It sounds, well, vaguely metrosexual. Perhaps there should be a better name adopted like Stow Pack. The other reason for the prejudice against Fanny Packs is that they have somehow become associated with tourists.

However, the bottom line is that mere pockets DON'T hold a candle to fanny packs (or Stow Packs) in terms of practicality. My challenge to any male Freeper is to wear (and use) a Fanny Pack for two weeks. I guarantee you will be addicted to Fanny Packs at the end of that time. And if it makes you feel any better, just call them "Stow Packs."

[ichabod1]

You're a girl. You get a pass.

[Allegra]

Now if I admitted that I used my Fanny Pack to carry around Judy Garland CDs, then you would be right to be suspicious of me.

Nah...it's that big Marilyn Monroe poster on your living room wall that has me a little concerned. ;-)

[Calpernia]

Blackhawk Urban Carry Fanny Pack Gun Holster
From the leader in tactical police equipment and military gear the the Blackhawk 5-5-10 Urban Carry Case/ Weapon Fanny Pack delivers performance by being able to open the case, draw the weapon and shoot 5 rounds in under 5 seconds at 10 yards. This Blackhawk holster is the fastest drawing weapon fanny pack on the market! BlackHawk dubbed this holster the Urban Carry Case because the holster design allows you to substitute batons, flashlights, or a similar item in place of your pistol.

(snip)

:~)

[HuntsvilleTxVeteran]

I have heard the french wear two toned shorts, yellow in the front and brown in the back.

[austinaero]

You really shouldn't even care PJ. Wear two! The bashing is probably mostly in fun. Would it really bother you if you turned out to be the only male FReeper who advocates fanny-packs?

I don't think so.

[leda]

hah! yes it did! :)

[JimSEA]

At least I don't wear underwear briefs.

Now you have ruined my day by dredging up memories of my last trip to Phuket. The only thing worse than a 60 year old German man with the bikini bottom trunks and a fanny pack is the 60 year old German woman topless and similarly attired. I know I ain't pretty and cover up accordingly. (I only bring up the Germans as they are the most numerous ethnic group thus attired in Phuket -- I am sure that French, Brits, Swedes and Americans are equally guilty)

BTW my wife buys me a fanny pack every year -- They look very handy but I would never cross the barrier.

[Esther Ruth]

Men don't do fanny packs. Yuk. I would divorce my husband if he put one on. (Just kidding) But I'd do something to him, don't know what yet. He wouldn't be caught dead with one. If I asked him to use one as some flee market or antique show or something lame to carry our junk in, well - he would divorce me prolly for asking (just kidding) but his opinion of me would be - well - changed.

Those long shorts with all the cool pockets look great and when the pockets are stuffed with cameras and bottles of water etc., that looks very cool I think. Go with cargo shorts. Burn the fanny pack. MHO

[PJ-Comix]

BTW my wife buys me a fanny pack every year -- They look very handy but I would never cross the barrier.

Just call it a sporran and come over to the Dark Side.

[Calpernia]

Now briefs are faggy! Especially the color ones!

White BVDs or boxers please!

[PJ-Comix]

It's too bad about the fanny pack. So incredibly practical, so incredibly taboo. It's an interesting psychological phenomenon that we feel so strongly about it, but we do.

Maybe it would help if some well known person wore a fanny pack in public. Like Bush or Ahnold or the next James Bond. Speaking of the latter, he admitted that he couldn't drive a stick shift car. Now THAT is homo.

[Calpernia]

Seinfeld also made Bros sound practical :P

[Eccl 10:2]

I wear one when I bicycle to carry some tools, extra tube, my cell phone, etc. It is great. Form follows function.

Fack all those who are too insecure about their sexuality to take advantage of the benefits and snipe at those who do.

If anybody needs their ass kicked about it, I'll gladly accommodate their pansy little asses.

[billybudd]

I have only found a need to wear a fanny pack when abroad, mostly because it's more secure than my side pockets. Normally, the only things I carry with me are a small wallet, keys, and a thin cell phone. No bulging really. So, I normally have no need for extra room.

I think the reputation of the fanny pack is somewhat deserved, somewhat undeserved. The problem is, stylistically it looks gay. Maybe if you got Craftsman to design a manly-looking "portable toolchest" or some such malarkey, you could counter this. Men carry pagers and cell phones attached to their belts all the time without looking gay (although I think such people look silly), so maybe there's hope for the fanny pack.

Good luck.

[Dick Vomer]

the anti-fanny pack crowd doesn't like the concealed carry crowd much either.....

of course an ankle or under belt holster works fine as well.

[PJ-Comix]

When I was in high school I worked as a pool boy at one of the beachfront motels in Sunny Isles, FL. Anyway, the pool manager, Fat Frank, absolutely HATED seeing Europeans wearing those bikini bathing suits.

One day he asked me to tell one of the European guys that his bikini bathing suit was too small and that he needed to change. I argued with Frank that I really didn't want to do that because I found it embarrassing to even discuss with the guy even though I also hated that itsy bitsy bathing suit. Frank told me that I HAD to tell the guy and also to tell him that women were complaining about his "bulge." Well, with great trepidation, I approached the European guy, lying back on a lounge chair, who spoke with either a French or Belgian accent.

"Um, sir, my boss said you need to change into a bigger bathing suit?"

"Why?" the guy asked angrily.

"Um, because he said the women here were complaining about your bulge."

"BULZH? They complained about my BULZH?"

At this point, everybody in the pool area was looking at us, much to my complete embarressment.

"Uh, yeah, so if you could change to a bigger bathing suit, that would be great."

"I change for NOBODY. Eet ess my BULZH and I don't care who complains about my BULZH!"

At this point I beat a hasty retreat and told Frank he could fire me if he wanted but there was no way I was going to argue with the European guy about his "BULZH" any longer.

[El Laton Caliente]

Ate lunch next to three Harley bikers last Sunday. Two had on the extra large fanny packs (with the quik opening not so secret compartment), the third was just open carrying... ;)

[ichabod1]

I don't think shooting somebody for teasing you about the fanny pack is ok, but pulling out a tazer and giving them a little zap would be perfectly fine.

[ichabod1]

I don't think shooting somebody for teasing you about the fanny pack is ok, but pulling out a tazer and giving them a little zap would be perfectly fine.

[humblegunner]

Not me, I generally carry stuff in a truck.