Posted on 07/13/2006 6:43:27 AM PDT by PJ-Comix
We depart today from the usual format of the DUmmie FUnnies to bring you this SPECIAL REPORT. It now appears that the future of the Earth is at risk, not due to Global Warming, but because of an imminent invasion of space aliens from the planet Vulcan. It is my contention that the sentinel of this Vulcan invasion force is Alison Stewart, the host of MSNBC's The Most which airs from 3 to 4 P.M. EDT on weekdays. In case you think I have gone completely off my rocker, I submit the two candid photos of Ms Stewart above. NO human can possibly have ears that large. Years of watching the various incarnations of Star Trek have taught me that only one group of beings have ears of that specific size and shape---Vulcans.
Therefore I have been watching every move Alison Stewart makes on her show to look for signs that she is going to signal the Vulcans to invade Earth. The only reason why Ms Stewart has not already sent such a signal is that she is continuing to collect information about our planet that might be useful to the Vulcan invaders. Because of her job with The Most covering the various aspects of the Internet, Vulcan Stewart is well aware of what is going on throughout our terrestrial civilization.
Fortunately, the interesting nature of The Most makes it very easy to monitor Vulcan Stewart's every move. In contrast to the vast majority of BORING cable news shows, The Most is VERY watchable with its focus on the Web as opposed to the typical yakety-yak of sparring politicos. The only recommendation I would have for The Most to make it even more interesting for me to check up on Vulcan Stewart's activities is to concentrate COMPLETELY on the Web and INCREASE it's coverage of the Blogosphere.
Most folks have forgotten that this was the initial purpose of MSNBC (thus the "MS" part). In the first few months of that cable network's existence they did have some great coverage of the Internet. Specifically I am thinking of their reporter Omar The Weird Looking Dude (and whatever happened to him?) who provided detailed reports of Web happenings. This Web coverage lasted only a brief time until the Old Farts of NBC stepped in and completely eliminated Web coverage. I guess the Old Farts considered the Internet to be just some sort of newfangled passing fad and reverted to the same dull news coverage that merely duplicated what other cable networks do.
Therefore it is REFRESHING that MSNBC is reverting (in a limited way) to their original concept of covering the Web. In fact, there should be MORE of it, not just on MSNBC but on the other cable channels as well. Why not have one show devoted to, say, interesting YouTube videos and another show about what is going on in the Blogosphere? I guarantee there is a big viewership out there for such topics.
As to the Vulcan, Alison Stewart, it is fortunate that her show is highly watchable due to its content consisting primarily of Web coverage. And remember, Alison, although you might be watching us in your role as sentinel for the Vulcan invasion force, I am watching YOU. In particular I am looking for any unusual twitches from your enormous Vulcan ears. This will be her signal to the Vulcan forces on the edge of the Solar System to commence their invasion.
So I warn my fellow Earthings. Watch Alison Stewart. Watch her Vulcan Ears!
Let me know if you want on the DUmmie FUnnies PING List.
PING!
So I'm guessing the DUmmies aren't all over the Novak column exhonerating Rove? I mean, those 24 hours are tickin' away...
She's not a vulcan, she's just related to Prince Charles.
TOP 10, BOYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Woot top 10?
Those look like pistol grips.
Top 10?
Quiet! She can probably hear us typing about her.
in by ten?!?!
Prince Charles has large ears but they don't have that pointy Vulcan shape like Alison Stewart's ears.
Why is that the Vulcan babes are always Hawt? Oh, and yippee top ten!
I have never watched her, but does she show emotion when the exit polls don't match the votes? Does she cry over global warming? If she can maintain composure when most reporters' liberal bias would cause their illogic and emotions to show through, we need to keep a close eye on her. Maybe put Buckhead onto her birth certificate.
Her ears were caught in a mechanical rice picker.
Lyndon Johnson did.
True, Prince Charles' point is on top of his head.
I for one welcome our new hot Vulcan overlords and am looking forward to serving.
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