Posted on 07/02/2006 1:01:30 PM PDT by John Semmens
After six straight agonizing hours without food, deposed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein has ended his hunger strike. The strike was launched to protest the use of a generic substitute for his customary Kellogg's Fruit Loops.
Curtis Debabbler, a human rights lawyer who has been retained to defend Saddam Hussein, labeled the shift to generic "Fruity Hoops" as "shabby and indecent." "This man was absolute ruler of a sovereign nation of over 20 million people," said Debabbler. "To try to foist this inferior substitute on him is another chapter in the book of American atrocities committed in Iraq."
Debabbler asserted that the indignity and unbearable hunger pangs forced Saddam to cut his strike short. "Saddam had wanted to hold out until dinner," said Debabbler. "But the aroma of the Sloppy Joes that were being served to the other prisoners in his cell block broke his spirit. It is tactics like these that illustrate why America is hated around the world."
Debabbler says he will be filing a writ to demand Saddam's release on the grounds that he has "already suffered enough." "Considering the round-the-clock confinement Saddam has suffered over the last two-and-one-half years, we think commuting his ultimate sentence to 'time-served' would be an equitable settlement of the charges against him," said Debabbler.
In related news, Saddam Hussein says he wants to be a celebrity judge on "American Idol" after his trial. "I think I'm at least as obnoxious as Simon Cowl and better looking than Paula Abdul," said Hussein. "I've been working on some phrases to use on the contestants. How do you like 'I've heard torture victims more melodic' or 'your voice reminds me of a flatulent camel'?" Hussein says he is confident that if he had been on the panel, Katherine McPhee never would've lost to Taylor Hicks.
(Excerpt) Read more at azconservative.org ...
"Saddam Hunger Strike Ends"
Dang!
Makes ya think twice about eating Froot Loops ever again. What are the Froot Loops people going and sellin' cereal to the likes of him for? Okay, I'm never buying Froot Loops again...
Another good one, John. Enjoyed the laugh.
This dude hunger strikes like I diet. We only do it between meals.
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